WHO: Walmart
WHAT: A Kentucky mother was outraged that Walmart stocked phallus-shaped fun straws. When she called to complain, "they were very rude with me about it. They acted like I was lying, like I was making it all up. You know, I would never make something up like that, especially about my little girl. But, that's just how they treated me and it's just not right."
WHERE: Questionable Straw Shape Upsets Mother [WSAZ] (Thanks, Mark!)
THE QUOTE: "At Wal-Mart we take customer questions and concerns seriously. After being contacted on this matter, Wal-Mart pulled the product in question from our shelves and is investigating the claim. Of course, our customer is welcome to return the item for a refund, if they would like."
BONUS: WSAZ launched a classy investigation into the incident, which appears after the jump.
"Taking it seriously" is a phrase companies use over and over again in public statements whenever they have bad PR. Our series of posts on occurrences of the phrase is our attempt to question how seriously companies are really taking these matters if every time they trot out this phrase by rote.








WHO: Walmart



Comments
I enjoy drinking the free two liter bottle of Pepsi I got for signing up for the fee laden Wal*Mart credit card with a phallic straw, all while wearing my nazi t-shirt!
I can understand how this could have been totally innocent and unfortunate on the part of the toy manufacturer. I'm normally the type who gives the utmost benefit of the doubt. But gee, they do look way too much like a... I mean, the straw leads right out the tip... I just can't help it, this time it really does look like what the poor dirty-minded woman thought it did.
hahaha, what a ridiculous individual! all this woman did was tip her cards to what a dirty mind she's got. those straws were far from looking like obvious male anatomy.
I mean c'mon...anyone with a working set of eyes can clearly tell that's genitalia-shaped...
or maybe rocket-shaped...
or maybe Gloop and Gleep shaped...
that's it...
Why are people hating on Herculoid straws? :(
I'm gonna go buy me some of those before they stop selling them! Look great for parties.
oh no the straw looks like a penis, whatever will we do? the world is going to end!
They appear to be in clear packaging...why did she buy them?
(I FFed through the video - I don't care what she has to say)
Obviously those are made in China, where they're not familiar with... wait, no, that explanation doesn't work either.
Couldn't she save them for herself? They are hilarious!
@speedwell: Innocent on the part of the manufacturer? If not a penis-shaped straw, what the heck is it supposed to be?
Don't really know how the purchasing division missed that one, I mean, I would expect this kind of item from a Spencer's, but Wal-Mart?
I honestly doubt that a child is going to make that correlation. It's a freakin' straw.
It's especially funny when used to drink milk.
@Crrusher: Agreed. We should all shut up unless the problem at hand will actually cause the world to end.
@kelrod: OK, now that I've read the actual article, it does seem like it could very well be a case of dirty-mind.
Have a giggle then GTFOI.
Fun straws...how aptly named.
If it had been an entire package of trouser snake shaped straws it would be one thing. But they hid them in with the innocent shapes, so many parents probably wouldn't even notice.
@silentnight913: I am glad you pointed that out. I take back my previous comment on wondering why she would purchase them.
Of course, she could still throw them out. By her words "it's all she can think about". Are the straws really the problem?
I don't see what's so offensive about straws shaped like SR-71 Blackbirds.
You DON'T want to suck it???
You BET I take it seriously. And personally.
Oh - they pulled these straws huh? just like they pulled the Nazi t-shirts, right?
If you want to pull it, that would be fine too.
Beside the fact this comments don't seem to work in firefox beta 4. I would place this as catagory STUPID, sometimes shapes happen that nobody really thinks about. Get over it, and move on. It is a silly straw, I am sure that when they made it they didn't go "lets make a penis shape". It sounds like some religious fundmentalist that has lot of time on her hands. No offense to Christians but come on.
you shouldn't be using those strws anyway if one is truly concern parent, bet ya it leaks BPA
And besides, the shape isn't a problem, I mean dogs has to eat those shapes everyday or starve, not that they mind [consumerist.com]
I love those straws, I want some
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@Cliff_Donner: too funny! :)
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I read the article and it doesn't say who she called at Wal-Mart. If she simply called the local walmart where she got them, I can understand why the employee she spoke to might have thought it was a joke. Seriously, when I was a kid, in the days before *69 and caller ID, this is exactly the kind of crank call I might have made... I once called a construction company with the word "Erection" in their name and left a message that I was really offended.... sad thing is I did that when I was 22, because the cable was out and I was bored.
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This makes me want to find out how these straws are made, :) I wonder if there is a "How It's Made" on these wacky type straws.... I'm thinking there has got to be a CAD pattern or something and they just put those instructions into the machine somehow telling it what directions to bend the plastic... or something like that... and some CAD guy slipped a dick into the patterns...
~
It could be a pear, a man siting in meditation as seen from the rear, a tool used to flatten and tenderise meat, an upside down mushroom, a snowman that's been two long in the sun, or anything else one can think of, but phallic, nooooo.
@dharma261: I don't think religion really comes into play. These straws are targeted at young children. You don't have to be religious to believe that young children should not be drinking from penis straws.
Kentucky mother + Wal-Mart + phallic straws = lololol
Clearly this woman has used these straws on at least ONE occasion.
;P
Morons procreating. Loooovely
@mgy: maybe you would know why she bought them if you came down off your high-horse long enough to watch the video. Then you might see that they came in a multi-pack and was mixed in with other various shapes.
What's wrong with drinking through a penis?
He said "shoot us an email," BWAH HA HA HA! It's funny, because male genitals SHOOT semen! FUNNY!
Hey American dumb female. Do you fucking understand that kids don't give a crap about it becauee they are not interested in it and don't see it as a penis with balls. Only your sick mind can interpret that shape as a so called private area (Penis). In what direction is this country going to. Walmart, don't take that crap from this dumb woman. Pretty pathetic that's all I can say. I am amazed that even news would cover this. It's a freaking rocket ship. You know what dumb American female. Go and get laid or better yet, don't reproduce at all. Many of you will agree with me on that one. Politicians are dumb, and now mothers are dumb. I think she grew up in a family that denied her sex until she got married. What a crazy bitch.
@kelrod:
Because any sane person would not view straws as a penis. But apparently in her mind, even a pen or a pencil is a nice long sexy penis. She needs a good spanking by her family or by her husband.
She is going to be the type of mother that never speaks to her daughter about sex, and then wonder why her kid is knocked up at 15.
While I agree that the shape is suggestive of male genitals, I think the designers could have done a much better job if that's what they intended. This is just a case of everyone seeing the headline PHALLIC STRAWS first and then seeing the picture. Of course with that kind of prompting you're going to think ... 'that does kind of look like a penis straw.'
For me, the first image to pop to mind was my kid's baby toy key ring. It's got 5 plastic keys with different colors and shapes. Of course now I have to destroy one of the keys...
Well, to be fair, they are labeled as Fun Straws. And what, I ask, can be more fun than a big, fat penis? Anyone? Anyone?!
@BayStateDarren:
And not so much fun for drinking lemonade!
I was kinda bored, and I paused the video on the close-up of the receipt; the info therein calls into question just how concerned with her child's welfare this woman really is. Some of the items visible on the receipt:
Candy Pops
Fruit Punch
Mountain Dew
Chocolate Syrup
Pop Tarts
Chocolate Frosted something or other
Yikes. Forget penises, this woman should concern herself with childhood diabetes...
"Sad Straws" would be MUCH smaller and made of less rigid plastic.
@kelrod: Are you afraid of peni?
@ClankBoomSteam: Just what I was thinking.
Well that's the last time I buy Faceshot brand fun straws.
Sounds like this lady needs some penis rather then worrying about the alleged penis shaped straws. Really people, will walmart have to pull hotdogs and bananas because they just might resemble a penis? Is it China's masterplan that the straws turn Americas youth into raging homosexuals? No, it's just a straw nuff said.
That is not the Bill Murray I know and love.
She has one child and is pregnant with another? Obviously she is not offended by penises.
BWAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH!
I just got home from a miserable night at work to see this!
Thanks COnsumerist... you just made me laugh! I needed that.
@Trai_Dep: Nothing, that's what!
@faust1200: She's bought into the story that it's the (I'm not Yank bashing when I say this) it's the US Government's job to protect her and her children from EVERYTHING. Sad, really. Kids are in for a helluva shock when they find out that's just not true.
@alphafemale:
Hah, there IS a "How It's Made" for silly straws. The one they show is made by hand by heating the plastic and wrapping it around a peg-design. I'm guessing the straws in question probably weren't manufactured that way, though.
@joemono:
I knew that SOMEONE had to comment on Bill Murray. It's an awesome addition to the story.
If she's sooooo offended by the male reproductive organ, how did she end up pregnant in the first place?!?!?!?!??!?!!?
Pffft......I'm bigger than that.
@eskimo81: That's not what she said >_>