The CEO of every company should anonymously try solving a problem every few months.

Really it boils down to treat other people like you'd want to be treated.

I had the weirdest online chat style customer service call yesterday. Was on the chat with a rep from India named "Elle" who worked for MagicJack. I had just placed an order, the website malfunctioned, the order confirmation showed contradictory information, and I needed to know immediately if I was going to be double charged. I spent fifteen minutes with the rep telling and analyzing the situation, and after we figured out she did not have the computer access to my account that she needed to handle the issue, I spent FIFTY VERIFIABLE MINUTES BY THE CLOCK repeating politely, "I would like to see a supervisor, please. Please put me in contact with a supervisor. Please put me in touch with a supervisor now. Please connect me with your supervisor now. Please connect me with your supervisor immediately. Please tell me why you won't transfer me to a supervisor." She never did say she couldn't actually do it...just kept assuring me that she could handle the problem, the supervisor would say the same thing she did, and why did I need to talk to a supervisor?

It's the damndest conversation you ever saw, and I have the screen shots, if you feel like being bored to tears.

Probably the most annoying thing for me (which isn't entirely the rep's fault, but still) is when I have to spell my last name three or more times to somebody. I recently spoke with a technician from the company who makes the helpdesk software we use (a bit ironic) and after the third spelling of my name, slowly, using NATO phonetic letters this time, he repeated it back to me, incorrectly. Had to resort to sending him an email so he could copy my name.

The unifying theme among companies with the worst (to me) customer service is a sense that the system is set up to delay or deny giving the consumer what s/he needs.

Examples of this from the above list: not giving CSRs the authority to fix the consumer's problem, making consumers repeat problems from the beginning or repeat irrelevant facts each time they talk to a CSR, CSR won't transfer consumer to a supervisor.

I am usually very patient with CSR (it must be a crap job) *until* it becomes obvious that the delays and frustrations are intentional.

@arsbadmojo: I agree what you said since, it does boil down to treat people the same way you want to be treated.

What I really want to know... is there any way for a large company that has grown into poor customer service (think, Comcast or Verizon) to ever go back - when it's that deep into their culture?

Lots of good small companies fall down this path as they grow, can they recover?

What I don't notice under the good customer service list is "CSR agents don't make you repeat your entire story every time you get transferred"

Nothing is more irritating to me than explaining my problem to a rep, troubleshooting a bit and realizing we need to escalate only to have to repeat the entire story to the new rep. I hear them clacking away on their keyboards, aren't they typing this stuff out? Making notes? Why is it so difficult for the new tech to read those notes and ask me questions about them?

I think the CSR should get right to the problem, and none of this mindless "we are taking it very seriously" crap. Cut the corporate buzzwords and slogans and focus on helping the customer instead of trying to remember to repeat everything in the script so you will get graded properly. Also cut the "your call is VERY important to us" message when on hold, this is stupid, if the call was THAT important, the customers shouldn't get stuck on hold for 20 min.

The CSR should be focusing on the customer's problem, and helping them to get it resolved instead of trying to remember to greet the customer, or to thank them when they are done, and anything else inbetween that the call center makes you do. The customer isn't going to care if they get greeted or thanked for calling, they just want their problem resolved, and they want it done in a timely manner.

Basically the CSR's need to focus on the customer, not remembering their script, not worrying about making their quota's, time limits or whatever, but helping the customer. The CSR should be allowed to be on the phone for as long as it takes to resolve a customer's problem, provided they are using that time to help the customer, some problems are more complex than others and will take more time regardless. The CSR should also have reasonable authority to take care of the problems.

@JRock: I have the same problem. It's shocking how many people can't follow the NATO phonetic alphabet. :)

Sometimes when I'm really grouchy about it, I'll begin with "P as in phonetic ...." I usually get a startled laugh.

I also like to lead with "P as in pornography ...."

@landsnark: I agree. Usually when you have customer service that is consistently bad from a company, it's because their systems or management is structured in a way that is poor at solving customer problems (either due to incompetence, disorganization, or intentionally). I don't know why some of these companies even have their first-tier customer service people, since they are so incompetent and powerless to do anything to solve your problem (I'm looking at you, Comcast!). I'm not some management guru with an MBA, but it seems like it would be cheaper to just hire a smaller number of GOOD customer service people, give them the tools and authority to actually fix problems that are the company's fault (like billing errors, technical issues, etc), and fire all the worthless employees.

It would also seem to me that if you're hiring someone for a job that is basically talking to your customers on the phone all day, that you would want to hire someone who a) has half a brain, and b) can form coherent sentences and speak intelligible and understandable proper English. Maybe they need to pay more to get and retain that kind of person; I don't know or care. And I'm not just talking about Indian call center reps...a lot of the Americans big companies hire are this way too. Yet again, it seems like it would save the company money in the long term (call times would go down, etc) if their employees could communicate in a reasonable way on the phone so that there isn't a lot of repetition just to get the details across. Are these qualities that rare? Or is Corporate America just unwilling to invest the necessary money in customer service?

OK, I'm going to come off as a "know it all" here but I think this is a issue that needs resolving ASAP.

I'm generally smarter than the person I'm asking help from.

When I call support, I have already found the exact problem and want it resolved. I don't want to troubleshoot out of a database. I don't want to be asked to try some inane test that provides no result. I don't want you to put me on hold so you can consult with a higher level tech who can come back and say, "Wow you really know your stuff."

I just want the "widgit" fixed/replaced quickly and succinctly so YOU the low level tech can get on to the next customer.

Some of us actually have degrees and "stuff"... ya know?

So I guess I'm asking for a different support line for the more technically astute.

Now I can't reveal who I work for (large PC/server manufacturer), but I have to say, we already do this. We have a customer self repair phone line and "it works" very well.

I just want to be able to understand the CSR. Without that, nothing else helps. Down with foreign accents thick enough to spread like butter!

@Eyebrows McGee: Of course they have trouble, there's no "P" in McGee.

@azzy: generally this is not really the fault of the techs, but the fault of management. Management gets rewarded for "speed of resolution" and not "quality resolution." This is typical of business grads with no technical experience. The manager gets their fat bonus and YOU the customer gets the shaft.

the letters for the day are R.O.I. (return on investment) and "quality" is not part of the equation.

@axiomatic:

you definitely don't work for IBM/Lenovo technical care. I order replacement parts and mail in laptops to them on a daily basis. their technical support is very welcoming and easy/fast to reach, but the way they read from a script it just dreadful.

I agree that if you're fairly well seasoned on how a tech item works (and in this case when it isn't), diagnosing the issue is rather easy. However, the majority of people calling in for support aren't as experienced, and that's where the nightmare begins

@arsbadmojo: CEOs Spying Agreed. Let them get a taste of what their customers deal with. The king of jordan used to go to the DMV and other places in disguise and just talk to people in line to see what the problems were. CEOs should try calling the verizon fibre help centre or whatever and see the Assclownery...

"The CEO of every company should anonymously try solving a problem every few months."

@arsbadmojo: Agreed. Let them get a taste of what their customers deal with. The king of jordan used to go to the DMV and other places in disguise and just talk to people in line to see what the problems were. CEOs should try calling the verizon fibre help centre or whatever and see the Assclownery...

The first sign of bad customer service is dealing with people in India or elsewhere where they do not speak English understandable to your average North American. That basically means that the company does not care about the consumer, just the bottom line. We aren't dealing with Amazon or Dell thanks to this.

Don't outsource call centers to India or Phillipines...

@Triborough: Like I said above, unfortunately this isn't just a problem with "foreign" CSR's. Sometimes they also hire undereducated/unprofessional Americans, too.

Language barrier is a genuine problem with phone support. Especially for tech troubleshooting, it's hard enough to do it over the phone when everyone understands every word the other person is saying. Nothing against the reps themselves -- they're just doing what anyone would do and taking a good job they can get -- but companies need to understand this.

My best experiences with customer service happened when the person on the other end of the phone was genuinely friendly, knew what was going on, and swiftly resolved my issue. I hate the scripted stuff -- it shouldn't be necessary if you properly train your CSRs. But I guess they'd have to pay them more and treat them less like cattle if they actually wanted to provide quality customer service.

My worst experience was with a rep with whom there was a language barrier, who refused to acknowledge that my laptop had had the same symptoms of hard drive failure three times in three months, which I'd called in each time. I had to fight with him to get him to even authorize sending a new hard drive, rather than making me mail off the laptop to have it wiped and have Windows re-installed a third time (which took well over a week each time).

Then they tried to sell me extended warranty at the end. Dude, if that's how you treat your regular warranty, I'm not going to pay for the extended.

Good customer service would have been, the second time it happened: "I see that you called with the same issue a month ago. It's happening again? Okay, this looks like a hard drive failure. I'll go ahead and [ship you a new hard drive/ship you a replacement machine]; ship the defective one back to us at [address]." Or really, to recognize it as a hard drive failure the first time, which they should have done.

@Eyebrows McGee: I have the same problem. It's shocking how many people can't follow the NATO phonetic alphabet. :) Sometimes when I'm really grouchy about it, I'll begin with "P as in phonetic ...." I usually get a startled laugh.

I know the feeling. My name is not Keith, but I once did something similar with an idiot who couldn't do his job and finally asked for my name: K as in kill. E as in emptyheaded, like you. I as in imbecile, like you. T as in twit, like you. H as in halfwit - again, like you. He was so dumb it all went over his head and he did not react. I eventually got the response from the required person.

What's not in the questions is the matter of response time. If it's going to take an hour or three to get back to the customer, a company should say so; customers don't mind waiting, it's the lies and false expectations that annoy. If a company doesn't do what it promises, it should have a guaranteed reaction; I'm not asking for free things, but if they promise "one hour!" and call back the next day, they should give an instant refund, or pay the customer a $20 penalty for wasting his time.

@Triborough: I've actually had some great customer service from foreign-sounding people. I say foreign-sounding, because I think most CSRs with foreign accents are probably outsourced, but in some cases you are talking to an American. I've also called a CSR and have gotten someone with a heavy southern accent, so it really is all kinds of people who pick up the line.

That said, I really get a sinking feeling when I get someone I can't understand - I'm generally really good at listening to accents and ascertaining what is being said, but it's just frustrating for me and the CSR if I can't understand them.

I called tech service for my old laptop and I got an Asian man who just didn't understand what I was trying to say. And I tend to think tech support is harder because you have to understand the machinery to actually solve any kind of problem. I felt a teensy weensy bad about wanting to try again another time because I'm Asian so I know a ton of people who have accents, and I don't have problems understanding them, but this guy just didn't understand me.

Frankly, I think the easy transfer option to a supervisor shows the true problem with customer service. You shouldn't ever need to get to that point if you're getting decent service.

I work as the only tech support and customer service rep for a small company. I'm professional but also honest, and there is no script I must read from. I have no queue - I have voice mail, and answer it promptly if I'm on a different call when someone calls. I have a ton of leeway in resolving problems and I have no beancounter demanding that I answer for each refund. Nobody is bothering me about how long my calls are, whether or not I'm "branding" enough, or any other crap.

As a result, I've only had two people -- in 18 months -- ask for a supervisor, and both of them were likely mentally inbalanced (an uninformed opinion admittedly, but I stand by it).

Companies started this mess by trying to absurdly limit costs -- or make a profit -- in customer service. I used to work for a call center and they are the most sweatshop-like work environment I've been in (even more than McDonalds!). It is all about upsell this, cross sell that, brand the call, read the script, average call time, blah blah blah. Take a bunch of people and pay them $8 an hour and harass them about their 3 minute bathroom break and you won't get service.

When I have to spell my name out via words, I like to say something like 'P as in psychology, H as in hour, E as in euphemism, ...'

It works every time.

Good customer service boils down to people skills and the ability to resolve the issue (or find someone else that can). My least favorite CSR's are the ones that sound bored and make it obvious they're reading from a script. And American reps that mumble (or talk lazily) are just as bad as reps from out of country with thick accents. It's really hard to hear and understand them over the background noise in the call center.

I don't mind dealing with Level 1 reps, but they should immediately be able to identify a problem that is out of their realm and transfer me to the right person, rather than read through script after script, and finally realizing they can't help.

But honestly, my preferred method of customer service is online. If I just want to update my billing address, or make other updates to my account, I'd rather do it through a website, rather than deal with calling an 800 number and wait in the phone queue.

IMO, it doesnt really matter if CSR's are not americans or from somewhere else. as long as they can speak/understand ENGLISH its fine because its comprehension that matters and resolution comes to that..
I work as a customer rep before and i know how hard it is to communicate with people who speaks with different accents it gets really frustrating, and with the training we are only given a week to train for basic communication skills and 3 weeks for the product training and all that, managements reason? if we know the product the comm skills would come in handy and i think that's a lame excuse.

I had good customer service the last three times I called because the call centers were at the corporate HQ, and they were in Iowa, North Dakota, and Minnesota. They were staffed by polite, warm midwesterners speaking easy-to-understand English. You could hear them smiling, and they all sounded like they were really glad I called.

It was a little dawdlier than most phone customer service, because they made chit-chat, especially while waiting for the computers to do something ("Did you get the snow down there in Peoria?"), but it was just so FRIENDLY.

Two of these were small specialty companies (Seed Savers and Nordic Needle), who rely on a loyal customer base and probably don't use "speed of call" as a metric for their call centers (Nordic Needle's "call center" is probably one woman in Fargo answering six phone calls a day). But the third was Andersen Windows, and while their warranty process is pissing me off, their call center is fantastic.

In all cases the reps were extremely familiar with the company and its products and procedures (again, not so surprising with Seed Savers or Nordic Needle, but kudos to Andersen), and not once did I have to be escalated; the reps had the knowledge and the power to solve my problems and answer my questions themselves.

Has anyone else noticed customer service lines that now begin with "Thank you for calling our customer service center in Ohio" (or whatever state)? Some places are getting wise to the fact that a US call center is value-added for a lot of customers.

The other call center I actually have to give props to is Blue Cross/Blue Shield of IL. Again, reps who speak good English, easy to understand, and not ONCE have I had to be escalated. Everyone I've spoken to over the past three years has been fully educated on the company and procedures and able to answer all of my questions very completely and provide me help. Not quite as friendly as the call centers I mentioned above, but definitely polite and helpful and does things on the first try with the first rep. (And, really, they're probably dealing with 90% stressed, unhappy customers freaking out about insurance and medical problems, so good for them that I never get a rude rep.)

@MagicEightBall: It's actually Eyebrows PMcGee, the P is silent. ;)

@Eyebrows McGee: "It's actually Eyebrows PMcGee, the P is silent. ;)"

And usually invisible. :D

@axiomatic: I think your point is well taken that script troubleshooting only gets so far, but not every company is dealing with servers. For consumer-oriented software/hardware, basic troubleshooting IS important.

I know I have been berated by someone for not immediately knowing the answer to their question - despite the fact that it was incredibly obscure and no normal customer would, or has, needed it since I've been employed for the company. Too many technical people want to "test" technical support in ridiculous ways. Example: one person randomly started disabling Windows services and then wanted us to tell him how to fix it, and was angry when we wouldn't (I don't work for Microsoft).

Unless you start putting software developers on the phones and hemhorraging money, it makes sense to have a tiered system. Granted, I think that most Tier 1 reps tend to be completely ill-qualified for any type of technical support, but someone who needs to know how to use the Start Menu doesn't need to go straight to the person who knows everything about everything.

@arsbadmojo: This happens frequently in small/medium technical firms:

Me: "Who am I talking to?"
CSR: "Oh I'm the CEO."

It's a great practice. "Sales engineers" are another great innovation in those same technical firms. It's nice to have the same person that sold you your equipment come out to fix it. (Similarly, I think Best Buy should merge the Geek Squad with computer sales and put their blue-shirted employees back behind the register.)

@speedwell:

A the clerk most likely could have done a better job than her supervisor.

What is the purpose of a supervisor? Managing the employees.

What is the purpose of the employee? Performing the tasks.

Don't like the employee? That is cause for the supervisor.

Don't like the skill set of the employee? Then ask for the next level of tech support.

Asking for a supervisor has little merit and is not to your advantage.

I find that the combo that truly makes me stabby is a CSR with an attitude like your bothering them combined with the systematic call center set to purposely not do anything to solve the problem.

The worst one in recent memory is Medco. They do mail order pharmacy for some Blue Cross plans. Nothing like getting an attitude and a hassle from the people filling your prescriptions.

Agree that "transfer to supervisor" issues SHOULD be less important. We all do that as a result of the more basic problems. Well trained CSR's performing properly would eliminate the need for transfers higher up.

A huge vote for the language issue. When communication skills is a core competency of the job how can one ever expect employees not fully literate and conversational in English speaking employees to deliver excellent customer service.

It occurs to me, how many of the outrageous problems we read of on Consumerist are tied to language difficulties with the notes the CSR's type, which we have no way of reviewing for correctness? They are leaving instructions for actions, corrections, technical specs, for another employee, who probably also has a limited grasp of English.

Let's play the telephone game we all played as children, but let's do it in Swedish! [Note: Those proficient in Swedish not allowed to play].

Just today, I called my HMO Doctor's office to straighten out a billing problem. The woman taking the message actually read it back to me to make sure it said everything correctly. We actually changed a few phrases to make it more clear. I was blown away! Why doesn't this happen more? It could only help increase CSR efficiency when further actions are required.

I'm continually amazed that companies are willing to give marketing top dollar, but not customer service. Why not prioritize the customers you ALREADY HAVE?

On that note, the recorded messages that say "your call is important to us" are infuriating. I can tell how important my call is based on how long it takes for a human to pick up the phone, thanks.

The absolute WORST is the new automated computer speech recognition programs you have to navigate before talking to a human. TWC in Cincinnati just started it and I spend 5 minutes continuously hitting '0'. I'm sorry, I won't be talking to your dumb voice recognition system today.

They must speak English, and speak it well, and they must actually care about solving the problem.

However, I actually have little problem with customer service anymore, as I have stopped doing business with companies that do not provide it. I buy a lot less stuff and my savings are growing.

For a CSR - when I transfer to XBM (Exchange by Mail) within ATT Mobility, I hate speaking to a foreign rep, then I hang up, get a foreign rep with the same last name, repeat two more times, then get someone in the US. That's what I hate :P

@SaraAB87: You said it yourself, we're graded on our openings/closings. My company doesn't use a script for troubleshooting but if we don't use your name twice in the call we get docked points. It's pretty stupid, but it's what my higher-ups want, and I want to keep my job. I'll say what I'm supposed to say and it will take a maximum of two minutes out of the call. Not exactly a big deal.

@Eyebrows McGee: I have the same problem. It's shocking how many people can't follow the NATO phonetic alphabet. :)

Funny story...when I was working as a CSR for a large corporation, we'd have to provide customers with a reference for their problem that included numbers and letters. Being an Army vet (among other things I was a platoon and company RTO), I made it a habit to read the letters using the phonetic alphabet for clarity.

So I'm ready this customer's reference back to them "Tango Zulu Foxtrot one five four..." and she can't keep up...turns out she wasn't writing the letters down but the whole word I was giving her...

So once in a while that can backfire :)