Consumerist
The TSA is testing a new crowd management system at two airports in Denver and Salt Lake City that they hope will make the security process less troublesome. No, the new system isn't less invasive or more security-sensible, but it does give families with kids/strollers/bags their own lane, both for their sanity and for ours. Early reports indicate families are happy with it but too many casual travelers think they're experts and head to the black diamond lane, which is only for people who walk briskly and frown a lot.
From the TSA blog, where every TSA employee suspiciously writes in the same perfectly-punctuated, on-message style (this quote is from the man who heads TSA security operations in Salt Lake City, and clearly not from a PR flack):
The Green lanes are used primarily by families, who often feel stressed in the traditional lane trying to get through with their kids, strollers and other stuff. Often these folks haven't gotten the proper level of attention they deserve. People who don't travel much and groups also select this lane. We've dedicated more resources to get people through this lane quickly without making them feel pushed. The Blue lanes are for casual travelers who understand TSA procedures to a degree but may not travel all that frequently so they take a little more time. The black diamond lanes are for expert travelers who understand the system by the nature of traveling a lot and are totally prepared for the checkpoint.One smart-assed commenter on a related Rocky Mountain News article asks, "Where's the terrorist line?" We agree—that would solve a lot of problems, provided the cluelessly overconfident Blue travelers didn't self-select for it and clog it up.
Halfway down a Denver Post story about the experiment is one of the saddest things we've read all week. Here's a glimpse of the future of America—children indoctrinated from their earliest memories to accept The Way Things Are.
In the stroller were her sons, Christian, 4, and Wyatt, 2.Wyatt was crying up a storm.
Asked if she thought the new system might benefit her and her kids, Clatterbuck said, "I hope so," as the two well-trained little boys took off their shoes even though they were seated in the stroller.
Update: A helpful reader sent in a more useful version, which—if followed—would solve all of our security problems.
"Update on Black Diamond Pilot in Salt Lake City - and Now It's in Denver Too" [evolution of Security] <— That's the name of the TSA blog, seriously. And check out this subheading: "Terrorists Evolve. Threats Evolve. Security Must Stay Ahead. You Play A Part." !!!
RELATED
"Color-coded screening takes off at DIA" [Denver Post]
"DIA security lines: Pick 'em" [Rocky Mountain News]
(Image: Jeff R.) (Thanks, Jeff!)
Comments
Papers Please
That just really makes me want to turn up at the airport in skis and goggles and stand around the security checkpoint looking really confused. I know it wouldn't really work in real life, but in my head it's priceless.
Which Type Are You?
-- BLACK
Oh, yeah, that'll go over well.
Do the TSA screeners even know their colors? You'd be hard pressed to find one that could recite the alphabet.
@ElizabethD: Wow, that was awesome :D
I wonder if this will become a major sporting event?
*Up in the annoucer's booth*
"Today we have Vicky, a tried and true green circle, attempting to navigate the tricky black diamond Security Salom Event. She's looking good so far...around the first marker...sloppy around the second...oh no she's tripped and fell! Looks like it'll be an hour delay at the security checkpoint for everyone now!"
This simply means they'll harass and randomly profile non-family lines more heavily...esp us iffy brown people.
I assume that the Black Diamond frequent travelers have little baggage because the airlines have already lost it all. Right?
In my experience, the more a person travels the more likely they are to carry everything on.
I could see this working, but only if you have to get some sort of approval to use the 'black' line. Otherwise every schmo is going to think he's experienced and get in that line.
@KyleOrton: I travel a lot, carry everything on, and don't have a lot of stuff.
I don't carry a lot of stuff because I've got packing and what I'm going to wear down pretty well. So, you don't need three pairs of pants and three jackects for three days, etc.
Yes, I agree, macho schmos (excellent choice of words BTW), who think they're black, but are actually blue, will be the problem.
@laserjobs: "Eine Papiers Bitte"
"Black" equals "travel frequently with little luggage"?
Sounds racist to me.
Teradoc - you made my day! LOL funny! :)
I don't know about you guys, but take less luggage overseas for a three week trip than some people I know who are going to Florida for the weekend. But you know they'll go to the black diamond line if it's shorter, so there is no way that this will work.
@Franklin Comes Alive!: I am in favor of a test.
Yeah, I want to know how they plan on enforcing this. I can see it will be easy to herd groups and families into the "green" line, but the I can also see people being pissed if they are told they need to get in the blue line instead of the black one. If they are going to leave this up to the public, I predict more frustration and confusion. Heck, the people at my local airport still can't grasp the "elite" line for the frequent travelers. Is that going to be replaced with this? Sheesh.
Where's the stunt park line? That's always favorite trail rating.
@KyleOrton:
That or the TSA has confiscated it all. Cause, you know, all terrorists keep their evil world domination plans on easily-accessible laptops and personal electronic devices.
About darn time they actually applied some industrial organization to the confusion at the screening lines...
@ARP: I agree, actually, and do the same thing. I guess I just didn't think people would try or want to bring much more than a small bag and a briefcase. That is pretty easy to handle for me.
Well back to the skiing analogies: anyone who's been slopeside knows how one feels to be a newbie hopelessly stuck in the middle of an expert double black diamond run while others go shooshing by them or pointing at them from the chairlift.
And you'll also get your ass handed to you if youre dick who goes skiing at top speed through a populated green "slow zone" full of kids and slow riders.
Perhaps the same will play out for those who clog up the expert lines yet can't seem to empty that last pocket of change. Or conversely a jerk who heads to the family line just because its shorter - only to sit waiting for bumbler after bumbler to clear the metal detecter.
james [www.futuregringo.com]
@Franklin Comes Alive!: If one improperly uses the Black Line, they should be sent to the Family Line.
@KyleOrton: Thank you a rarity on this site - a truly clever comment, while making a pertinent point to the topic at hand.
@B1663R: Why repeat what has already been said in English, in horrible German?
These are not the terrorists you are looking for, move along.
Easy, you need to be able to show a FF card above base level to get into black lane. Anyone who really qualifies should already have one. Doesnt matter if you're traveling on that airline, just that you have one.
@Geekybiker: My frequent fly card has no indication of my status. I hope you aren't saying something like elite status, because one doesn't have to travel monthly, to be an expert at security lines.
Perfectly punctuated? Where is his serial comma before "and"?
Yes, I will defend this usage with my life if necessary. I enshrine it in my heart right next to the use of singular "they."
*shrug* my planned flight leaves at 6:20 in the morning, I doubt there will be many people in the security line at that time.
@Geekybiker: And in 10 minutes shady dudes will be selling fake FF cards at the dropoff curb. Try again.
I would have loved to have been in on the discussions about what colors and shapes they were going to use for these 3 categories.
Pink triangles? Out, just wayyyy out.
Red crosses? Out, taken.
Blue stars? Out, Jerry Jones will sue us.
Pink hearts, yellow moons, blue diamonds? Lucky Charms people will sue us.
@zouxou: Not elite, but one of the levels that you have to fly errr frequently at achieve. Otherwise any joe schmoe can get a card and hop into the expert lane. Its not a perfect qualification (I travel often, but not enough to qualify) but its probably as close as you're going to get with existing metrics.
Anything that separates me from little kids running around me is A-OK in my book. In fact, I always chose the line with the least kids, even if that line is shorter.
Now if we could get supermarkets to convert some of their lanes to 'green' lanes, for those that need to write checks and can't find a working pen, have items that won't scan and need price checks, those waiting for a friend to return with something they forgot to get before they got in line, etc...
@savvy999: Sure there can be fake FF cards, but what else would you use?
Baggage? The "experts" will frequently be loaded with in cabin gear. So just saying 1 piece of carry on doesnt make sense.
It seems the frequently flier club level are an already wide spread pre-existing method of checking flight experience. Its easy and quick to check at the gate. Yes you can buy your way in to most of them, and yes the cards could be fake. But you'll always deal with people trying to "game" the system. Try writing "SSSS" on your boarding card sometime if you want to skip the line. At least it would sort most of the people into th e lines they belong in.
ugh. this is not a good idea.
For judging who gets into which line, couldn't they go by the number of bags a person is carrying? So if a super experienced traveler shows up with 5 carry on items, they get stuck in the blue line, and if they have kids, obviously you go in the family line. People like me, who check everything they can and only have a small carry-on, would get the black line, even if I don't fly often.
What? I have to post on topic? OK.
I have just recently started to travel for work. In the last six months I've flown five round trips. But I don't qualify for "elite" FF status because they've all been on different airlines.
Next weekend, I'll be heading to Scotland for training. I have an hour layover at Gatwick. This is not going to be near long enough. Some sort of expedited line would surely help me.
@B1663R: Ihre Papiere bitte!
but then again we have just invoked Godwins law.
Um... casual traveler with one small carry-on here. Can I be purple?
@witeowl: Depends on how quickly you can whip out your boarding pass and ID.
@B: There you go. Line up according to how many bags, relatives, or "special needs" you're slinging around.
On a slightly related note: who here has gone through Southwest Airlines' new boarding lines? Crystal clear to me and many others, but there's always the one thick-skulled person who absolutely cannot understand that C-42 is NOT A-1.
I think it could be interesting. Though I usually have a roll backpack carry-on, I'd count myself as a Black Diamond Traveler because I'm ready for the check area. My shoes are loose (if not off) when I get there, I'm not wearing a metal encrusted belt, etc.
As opposed to the people I'm usually stuck behind. Laptop man who was upset that, despite plenty of signage, announcements, and videos (Las Vegas airport), he had to take the thing out of the case. Or the skateboarder who discovered that his metal studded belt made the metal detector go off...
Maybe they could have someone there to direct people. "You...the one with no visible jewelry on, no watch, and shoes in hand, you go over there. You, twit, with a watch, a chunky steel bracelet, and an attitude, you go over there..."
As a Father this sounds great! I'm hope they expand this concept to more airports.
@Geekybiker: RE: SSSS, man, you're cold. Funny, but cold.
When I hit security, I always have one rollaboard (the largest allowed) and a laptop in a backpack. Before getting in line, my shoes are loose, my belt buckle is removed and placed in the outer pocket of the rollaboard with my keys and any change that I may have. Jacket (if any) is stuffed into my rollaboard.
As soon as I get to the table, laptop comes out and into a tray, shoes go into the tray on top of the laptop. When I get to the machine, shoes come out and directly onto the belt (not allowed to be on top of the laptop) and eveything gets stuffed into the machine.
(I have not set off a metal detector in nine years of frequent flying).
Pop out the other side, slip on the shoes, grab my bags and get out of the way before recovery.
Most times this works but sometimes one of more piece of electronics in my rollaboard catches the X-ray ops attention (2 foot long ham radio antenna, usually, or one of my wall-wart chargers) but nine times out of 10 I get through quick, with my big-as-allowed rollaboard and my backpack.
Just need to prepare yourself.
Dear TSA, just actually DO your F-ing job! That alone might make things go faster.
Maybe, just maybe, the larger airports need to install a "trial" metal detector areas where you can check if your stuff sets off the detector. Or some information person can advise you of how to configure your stuff to get through quick enough- ie tell you to ditch the 4.1 oz hair gel, etc. before holding everyone else up. And they can educate the fliers who have been under a rock since 09-11-01 about what is going on during the inspection.
I was just one person who slammed the TSA blog site with the recoommendation that they use some sort of industrial sequencing or throughput analysis to figure the lines out. That 20% (families with strollers, special needs, etc) was holding up the 80% (everyone else), natch?
"Federal law prohibits standing in the wrong security line."
"Federal law prohibits showing false or misleading frequent flyer cards to TSA screeners."
"Federal law prohibits the use of any sort of intelligence or common sense in TSA screening areas".
You could just watch all the ambitious should-be-blue people clog the black line and swiftly go through the empty blue line.
@axiomatic:
If you haven't walked a mile in their shoes (I did for five years) then shut the f*ck up.
Being a TSO is a high stress customer service job where not only the public generally dislikes you (just short of FEMA and the IRS Tax Man) but management is para-military governed (like the Army) disciplinarian through and through. It's bad enough to have to listen to passengers who think they deserve the world on a silver platter, it's altogether unbearable to have Washington DC (Don't Care) constantly changing the rules that you all love so much.
So don't take it out on the ground floor TSO (officer), instead write your stinking congressman or senator, or better yet vote for somebody who is either going to properly fund the agency (so issues like staffing can be addressed) or do away with it altogether. Vent at them, not a blue collar federal employee who probably would rather have a job elsewhere in the first place.
It's people like you who make me glad I'm back in the private sector making three times the wages.
Next time I'm at an airport, I'll be sure to tell the TSO's at their station thank you and to keep up the good word, and if I hear people like you in line bitching and moaning about how bad TSA is, I'll be sure to tell you go by a friggin bus ticket.