Consumerist
After reading these six confessions of a current Alamo car rental agent, you will learn:
- The commission hungry mindset of a car-rental agent
- How they're always trying to get you to do unnecessary upgrades
- How the cost of these upgrades are discretionary, and therefore, negotiable
- What a "deeker" is
But most of all, you will learn just how much, for at least this Alamo agent, you are his absolute adversary in his battle to get you spring for costly upgrades and beef up his bonuses.
6. IT'S A SALES JOB
First I'd like to let the cat out of the bag. Yes, we car rental agents do work for commissions! If we can get you to pay more for an upgrade, insurance, gasoline, a GPS, even an additional driver, we get a cut of the extra charges.
5. I HATE "DEEKERS"
At Alamo Rent A Car in [redacted], we are handsomely rewarded for good sales and punished if our sales are poor. The pressure this environment produces leads many of us to fine tune our skills to not only offer extras effectively and to have comebacks to all customer rejections, but to also be able to identify the customers in line as to whether they are buyers or decliners, which we call "deekers". When a customer declines everything you've offered, you've been "deeked". Get deeked enough times by a certain type of customer and you begin to feel resentment towards that group. Sometimes a customer can't be identified as a buyer or deeker until you see the state or country of the driver license. Evidently some states and countries produce more deekers than others. Deekers may at times be legitimate but often they are just cheap people.
4. CHEAP PEOPLE CAN'T FULLY ENJOY A VACATION
A typical example of a deeker is the young couple with two kids, a 3-year old and a 10-month old, on-line with strollers and packing their own child safety seats. He produces his license and credit card but she does all the talking. Offer them a more comfortable or fun vehicle than the sub-compact they have reserved and she will cut you off with a "no". She will also cut you off when you offer her the peace of mind that the insurance will give her or the convenience of prepaying for the gasoline at a discounted rate. Of course there's also a "no" to the GPS because she'll raise the stack of MapQuest printouts in her folder. Listening in silence is the helpless husband as he looks on while imagining driving a sporty SUV instead of the tiny economy car reserved. Enough of these deekers and you may find yourself working in the exit booth of the garage the following month. This punishment can cost you thousands of dollars!
3. TO ALL YOU DEEKERS
First of all, you wonder how this family can fully enjoy its vacation. They are staying in a cheap motel far from the theme parks. The couple's freedom to roam the theme parks with the kids and the strollers is limited. The kids are too young to have future memories of this trip anyway. You even wonder how this cheap couple is going to eat while on vacation. Are they going to smuggle peanut butter and jelly sandwiches into the theme parks to avoid paying the high priced foods there or are they just going to go hungry? Here's a suggestion to those of you that fit this customer profile, leave the kids at home! Leave them with grandma or Aunt Betty and enjoy your vacation! Let your husband drive the SUV he'd like or treat yourselves to a convertible! Wander the theme parks freely and enjoy greater intimacy in a nicer hotel located closer to the parks. You'll enjoy your vacation more and you will help me feed my family!
2. I AM ROLLING IN THE SCRIZZLE
I was a manager with Alamo and I quit to become a rental agent. Why? For the money. When I realized that the average rental agent was making far more than I was and agents didn't have to put up with the stress and responsibilities of management, I resigned. As a part-time agent, I am now making more than 3 times what I was making as a full-time manager! Aside from my modest $8 hourly rate, I'm receiving about $4000 a month during the low season in sales commissions alone! I can't wait for the high season to begin to see how much I'll be raking in. I'm not among the best sales agents but believe it or not, the better ones make six figures. Even some part-timers are earning six figures or close to it. So now you can understand how one too many deekers can have us assigned to the exit booth in the garage and cost us thousands.
1. I WILL CHARGE YOU FOR THE UPGRADE FOR WHATEVER PRICE I CAN GET AWAY WITH
AKA I LOVE BRITS
If we make so much money, obviously many customers are paying more for our extras. Thank you very much! In particular, we love our UK customers which we affectionately call "the Brits". When the Virgin and British Airways flights are in, the Alamo counter is full of agents. The Brits are fun folks and love upgrades. We Alamo rental agents have autonomy when it comes to the price of upgrades. There is a minimum which we must adhere to, usually $11 per day, but we can raise it to whatever we believe the customer is willing to pay. If the Brit wants an SUV instead of the midsize sedan reserved, we may charge him $11 more per day or maybe even $99 more per day. Even better, many Brits have long term rentals, 2, 3, 4 weeks or longer. The longer the rental, the better for us if the customer buys something. For instance, an upgrade of $49 per day for a 3-week rental equals a total of $1029. If the agent can average just one or two sales like this per day, he/she will get a 15% cut of the upgrade sales alone. For this one sale, that means $154.35 commission. Add 15% for all the upgrades for the month, plus say 12% of all the insurance sold, plus 4% for all the gasoline sold, plus 10% for all the GPS sold, and more for all the additional driver charges, and you've got yourself a pretty commission payout check for the month. Monthly commission payouts of over 10 and 15 thousand dollars are not uncommon to the top agents. Again, thank you very much to the buying customers, you are good sports.
(Photo: oliliqui)
Comments
He managed to make his "confessions" into an advertisement for all the upgrades they offer.
Shameless.
And now I know why they never have the car I 'reserved' when I arive at the agency.
The dirty liars are just trying to railroad me into a different car. (which I never have and never will pay for)
Wow soo I'm not the only one who felt that this so called confession was more a rationalizing how to screw the customer...
That said, some of us like driving the smaller cars and hate the SUV's....
What a shameless slimeball. Just when you think the car rental business couldn't get any shadier, chumps like this come along. What was the point of this anyway?
"Hi! I'm a dick that works at a company full of dicks. Here's how we like to dick you over! Also, if you don't buy into our up-selling bullshit, you're cheap and your family hates you."
Yeah, I agree - this guy comes off as a total sleaze and makes all rental agents seem like greedy assholes.
Ok I'm a "Deeker" and this guy is an "assclown."
Funny how he doesn't mention that the insurance is a total scam since the vast majority of drivers already are covered through their standard auto insurance and/or credit card.
I'm proud to be a deeker!
Wait a second - this guy wants the average consumer to violate their vacation budgets so he can rake in a nice commission? How dare we be thrifty and pass on unesscary upgrades? Here's my retort:
1) It's my money, and my vacation. Not yours.
2) I've never rented a car from Alamo, and I doubt I will now. Who wants to put up with that kind of high-pressure sales crap?
Christ, this guy sounds like a real douchebag.
This guy is a douche. Deekers are cheap? Maybe they are smart about declining your upgrades especially since you get to name whatever price you can get away with. P.S. I have a portable GPS, so I'm not buying yours.
UGH! I just love how this A-hole implies that cheap people are horrible (basically because he hates them & he cant make a shitload of money off of them). Screw you, you greedy commission-hungry A-hole! I hope you are forever banished to the garage exit booth... you seem to deserve it.
I went to england on the cheap in 2002. Got a cheap airline ticket,stayed in a cheap hotel chain, cheap econojob rental car etc. etc.. It was great fun! I went there to see the country, not visit theme parks. Even though it was on the cheap.... the exchange rate was horrible, had I gone all out (like this prick car-rental-monkey suggests) I would have spent a small fortune!
Because money makes the world go round, and without spending shitloads of money nobody can enjoy anything ever. Douche.
Want me to empathize about taking food off your plate? Go be a teacher or a doctor or some worthwhile profession. Otherwise I hope you get "deeked" into the unemployment line you shetbag.
I don't care what this guy thinks of me. If he thinks I'm scum for not needing extra insurance, already owning a GPS, not wanting to waste gas, and for making rude assumptions about whether or not I will enjoy my trip due to driving a subcompact, he's an asshole.
I do not need an SUV. I do not need a polluting gas-guzzling POS. I paid good money for my Garmin GPS. My car insurance covers me for rentals.
Don't like it? Shove it, I don't care about you. I make half what you make and I don't lord it over other people like you do, jerk.
Just goes to show that money often really does breed smug attitude.
This has made me committed to being a Deeker for life.
People shouldn't go on vacation because they don't want to pad your commission check? I don't feel bad for you at all.
I have always operated on the assumption that every car rental agent is trying to scam me or otherwise get me to pay more than I want to, so it's nice to have some confirmation of this.
I find it ridiculous to assume that individuals who don't collapse to your sales pitches for useless addons (GPS being one of them) aren't going to "enjoy their vacation".
It's dishonest. You don't know the people who are renting from you, and any suggestions that they will regret not paying YOU more money is just playing off of their fears.
These 'confessions' are a joke.
In response to #3:
I am the oldest of three children and I grew up on the border between poor and lower middle class. The one time my family ever went on a "big vacation" was a trip to Disneyworld when I was 10. We DID smuggle sandwiches and juice boxes into the theme parks and we stayed in a motel 10 miles from the park where we made our own meals and stayed in one room. Had we not done this, we would have never been able to go.
Why did my parents take this route rather than "leave us with Aunt Edna" so they could "enjoy" themselves? Because the fun of a vacation is not to cruise around in a poorly-maintained rental SUV with a GPS unit, it is (at least in our family) to enjoy things as a family.
I've worked commission at several past jobs. That the author would even ATTEMPT to equate vacation pleasure with rental car upgrades and add-ons in an attempt to boost his numbers (and the obvious low self esteem that comes with being a retail manager) only serves to reinforce the negative ideas most of the world has about the rental car business.
If I decline stuff I don't need he resents me. Why? Is it because I'm not paying through the nose for useless upgrades and, therefore, lining his pockets?
So be it. If he wants me to spend more money he should get Alamo to offer services I'm interested in. If he wants more money then he should find another line of work. My ability to use my intelligence to decide what I want and how I spend my money isn't the problem. I don't go into a car rental place thinking, "How much should I give this poor, downtrodden salary-man to make his life better?" He sure seems to think that's the attitude I should have, though.
@DeeJayQueue: And I was hoping there would be an additional "betch" in your comment...
And excellent point about doing a worthwhile profession. Maybe teachers should be getting his commission.
Some guy berating customers for passing on ridiculously expensive gas, SUVs and GPS modules so that he can earn six figures for renting cars is not a confession. I feel the urge to email-bomb the CEOs at Consumerist and demand a refund for my 3 minutes of attention....
If you have a membership in Hertz #1 Club Gold, the Hertz bus drops you off in front of a big board of names. Find your name, get in the car and drive off the lot. You need never mess with a sleazy sales-"agent".
p.s. ("Hertz Gold" membership supposedly has some kind of yearly charge but I've never paid a dime for the privilege, nor have I heard of anyone else paying for it).
I get my upgrades for free at National anyway (Emerald Executive level) so i always get to pick a nice gas guzzler.
I'm guessing that, although the location was redacted, I belive the a$$hole who leaked this information works at Orlando, because he loves the Brits. And, from what I remember when I was working in England, the Brits love Disney World.
Worst...confession...ever.
This wasn't a confession. This was berating the people who don't fall for his crap.
Here's a clue, asshat. If any of the shit you were pushing was worth anything, you wouldn't have to push it.
"Save money by prepaying gas!" (as long as you return it with less than 5% of the tank left).
Sorry, but perhaps the people who rented the smaller car know better than you what they require for their use and their comfort.
Now I thinking that I want to find him, and pretend to be British while standing in line. (I can do a decent accent, yay voice class!) Right when I get up to him, pull the switcheroo and screw him out of a job.
Heres a suggestion:
How about we just drive our own cars to places?You know, the one you haggled with the used car sales guy in the cheap suit to buy?
Besides roadtrips are a lot more fun,theres no airport security, and you don't have to deal with commissioned tools like this guy at the rental counter.
Why would anyone who still works in this industry willingly share this with a site like Consumerist? Seems to me like you'd breed more "Deekers" that way.
WTF, Deekers? That term begs to be mocked.
The Alamo agent is guilty of the type of greedy affliction that overtakes many who live and work for commission in the service industry, I once went through that phase in my career but was willing to earn less to not have to live with the guilt I sometimes felt selling a product or service that I knew was unnecessary.
Hope our friend at Alamo someday reaches the same conclusion and in the meantime realizes that there are plenty of us Deeker's out there who take great joy in denying a commissioned rep the ability to screw us.
Next time I am tempted to spend quality time with my 3 year old and 10 month old, I'll reconsider so as to not inconvenience my $100,000 rental car salesperson. Thanks for that valuable tip.
I appreciate insiders letting people in to their trade secrets, but guys like this shouldn't be given a forum. He's not saying anything that anyone who has rented a car before did not at least suspect. And on top of that, he is being a gigantic douche about it.
If I read about how people are out to get me, I'd appreciate it if the person delivering the information at least didn't sound so gleeful about it.
Did you all post this so we will avoid Alamo?!? Well you have done a good job!!!! This is a rant about "how good of a salesman I am" and "People are cheap for not putting money in my pockets". Of course "The Brits" are going to spend more; their money is twice as much over here. Even so why the hell am I going to waste money on a car that is not mine? Take your jackassery elsewhere please!
@CaptainSemantics:
I want to give him an ultimatum.
"I either want the smallest cheapest car you've got with no upgrades, or I want every single upgrade you offer ... for exactly $11 dollars each."
"You even wonder how this cheap couple is going to eat while on vacation."
Well, it could be that they spend all the money they didn't waste on useless rental upgrades and gas-guzzling SUVs on delicious food that they'll enjoy far more than a rental car with a GPS that they don't need. Just a guess.
@Murph1908:
Agreed. This seemed like less of a confession, and more like a gloating session by a dick-eating douchenozzle.
@mulescent:
Think of it as the enemy telling you their battle plan. If you have to rent a car from some of their kind, you know whats afoot.
As a "Deeker", Get Bent.
For the most part, you are trying to sell things that I don't need. My credit card handles the insurance coverage, its far more stressful to try to return a tank bone dry in an attempt to save $5, and if you don't have a car thats interesting ("Sporty SUV is a misnomer, and if your convertible is a Seabring, that is a car so sexless it can be an abstanace-only education aid"), I'll stick with the econobox that actually gets me from Pt A to pt B.
Whats shocking is the notion of just how high the commisions are. To get a $4k commission, you have to sell >$40K in mostly useless stuff in a month, as a part time worker. Amazing.
On the other hand, since you only get 10% or so, if I slip you a buck will you promise not to try to upsell me?
DEEKER 4 life baby
But but but! The peace of mind! The convenience! The DISCOUNTED GAS??? Ummm.. no... I usually have no problem with the silly things you post, Ben. I usually enjoy them. But this is just plain stoooopid.
Why would you post this??
What a complete and total douche.
One of the reasons my preference for travel is cities i which I can walk and use public transportation...
Okay, honestly, you gotta give him one thing. He's right about the cheapo vacation. If you can't afford to rent a decent (not extravagant, but certainly decent - and an econobox with two kids, one in a stroller, is not decent) car or stay at a decent hotel (again, not extravagant, but not a motel either if you're a party of four) close to where you're going, you can't afford that vacation. I'm sorry, but he's absolutely right. Save up another year and go when you have enough of a budget to relax and be comfortable. Otherwise, it really just isn't a vacation.
My friend, for example, is getting married in a few months. They are not going to honeymoon right after because, in his words, he "can afford it", but with all the expense of the wedding right behind them, he knows he'll thinking about every meal and whether they really need dessert or one more drink. So, they're going to wait until they've recovered a little financially, and then go, not having to count dollars here or pinch pennies there - nothing extravagant, but nothing budgeted either.
And, he's absolutely right. I bet he has a lot more fun for only a little more dough.
So, for point #3 above, I'm going to agree with this guy. Otherwise, yeah, total jerk.
Thank you for helping me being a guilt-free ''deeker"
I'm not going to encourage a scumbag who makes 4k a month.
Traveling with the kids is enjoyable for some. I would have no legitimate reason to go to a theme park without them, and I would have little desire to go most places without them. You pick being soulless, I pick parenting. If that means you're the awesomest car rental guy ever and I'm a cheap jerk, I'll stick with my choice.
Most of the car rental agents I know are borderline suicidal. Last time I was at Enterprise I heard:
"Welcome to Enterprise, where we pick up our customers and smash our employees' dreams."
"'How are you?' 'Livin' the dream!...Not mine, someone elses'."
"It's a great day here at Enterprise. They told us in the meeting."
And so forth. Sounds like a bunch of cool guys loving their fat commissions to me!
The only time I ever thought it would be wise to purchase additional insurance was when I rented a car to go driving around the Yucatan Peninsula.
Also anytime I rent my camera phone is my best friend. I take pics of all dings and nicks with the rental car place, (and often the agent handing me the keys,) in the shot.
This guy equates a "fun vacation" with driving an expensive, over-insured car. What a DB.
Fun vacations are where you spend time with your family, relaxing, after renting as little car as you need from an obedient and mostly-silent rental car agent.
Maybe the deekers decline all the extra crap so they can have more money to enjoy their vacation. The dollars they don't spend on crap insurance and upgrades they can spend on food and hotels, d-wad.
@Silversmok3: I got my car on the net from a really cool salesguy who really loves VWs and knew his stuff and got me the price he gives to all the VW people coming from the group I came from. THAT'S the way to buy a car.
what an a-hole
@Jim: "You pick being soulless, I pick parenting."
Sorry for the 3rd post in a row, but what the fuck type of statement is that.
@homerjay:
Hey! I LOVE this thread! The best one in a while! Its highly entertaining (the "confessions" & even better... the comments). It also confirms how incredibly slimy car rental salesmen can be.
I say well done ben!