Consumerist
2007 was an amazing year for consumer products and we covered them all! From the hype of the iPhone to death-flavored pet food, if you buy it, we've probably got an opinion about it.
That's why this year we're going out of our way to salute the best of the best. Without further ado... The 10 most amazing, useful, awesome, stupendous products of 2007!
10. Ladders. Perfectly designed for reaching stuff that's too high. Need a can of soup that's on the top shelf? Use a ladder! The one drawback to ladders is that you can fall off of them and kill yourself. Were it not for this small flaw, we're sure ladders would be much higher on the list.
9. Internet. The internet is an excellent tool with many uses. For example, you can type your opinions in list form, post them, and then watch as people from all over the world disagree with you in nearly infinite variations. Believe it or not, some people make a pretty good living doing this.
8. Shoes. Shoes are a product we at the Consumerist use almost every single day. The productivity boost we get from shoes is unmatched. Without them, it takes a lot longer to do even simple tasks such as walking to the store.
7. The Spork. We ask you: What other utensil so deftly handles not only turkey, but stuffing and mashed potatoes as well?
6. Olive Oil. Olive Oil is not only delicious, if you felt like it, you could burn it in a lamp and light your house. Or make soap.
5. Notebooks And Pens. Have you ever had an idea? Or maybe you needed to remember something? What you need is a product that allows you to input data and store it for later. That way, you can free your mind to wonder if Monet would have been worth a damn if he hadn't had cataracts. We give you "Notebooks" and "Pens." They're easy to use right out of the box, considering you've probably had at least 12 years of relevant training provided by our fine education system.
4. Simple Machines. Who doesn't love the inclined plane? So useful for loading things in and out of trucks and entering and exiting buildings. The wheel and axle is another winner, and a wedge can stop a door for you when nothing else will do. Simple machines, we salute you.
3. Coffee & Tea. Neither coffee, nor tea has calories. Both contain caffeine. That's really all we have to say about it.
2. Baking Soda. Baking soda is not only an excellent leavening agent, after you're done eating the yummy biscuits you just made...you can brush your teeth with it. Or clean your produce. Or get a weird smell off of your hands. Or make a science project.
1. Vinegar. Yes, vinegar is the winner. You can use it to make pickles or you can clean your coffee pot with it. You could make salad dressing, or you could clean your counter tops and deodorize your garbage disposal. Vinegar rules!
What simple DRM-free, EULA-free, ETF-free products do you appreciate?
Comments
Thank you for ranking shoes and olive oil higher than the internet!
NO FLUX CAPACITORS!?!?! THIS LIST IS BS.
Salt. you can use it to preserve meats, season your food, and de-ice your driveway
why isn't the iPhone on here?
1+2 = elementary school science fair volcano... shouldn't that be on the list then?
I don't know aboout #5. I've been using ms notepad for taking notes for years -- I don't need some kind of new-fangled 'pen' thingy to do that stuff
Furniture. Great for sleeping on, sitting in, and having somewhere soft to put our high fructose corn syrup laden bodies. Also makes great firewood when done sitting on.
Alcohol! The cause of AND solution to all of life's problems.
Slow news day?
I'm still waiting for the "Top 10 Lists" list. It's coming. You watch.
You people are weird.
Oh, and I totally disagree with #9. Now, pay me.
@Sudonum: And sow your neighbor's yard with salt in retribution! (For what? MWAH HA HA HA HA HA HA!)
#1 Lead... used for poisoning animals, poisoning children, poisoning parents of children, making poison more poisonous AND protecting your nuts from x-rays!
I have no quibbles with this fantastic list. You guys nailed it!
@HeyThereKiller: Lead doesn't protect your nuts from z-rays and that's completely unacceptable.
@phalex: What kind: ethanol, methanol, or isopropanol? :-)
plastic is useful for making durable, lightweight, inexpensive products like buckets, bags, and plates.
No Turducken? WTF?
I guess #9 is true after all.
Novelty T-Shirts.
They always have the perfect pun, should I faulter.
Um, coffee has calories, though I'm not sure how many. How do I know? Well, mold won't grow without something to eat...
(I'll let you figure out the reat...)
despite the warnings, i'm a big fan of dihydrogen monoxide. [www.dhmo.org]
if you put "Comcast" in front of any of these items, they instantly become turds!
I'm so glad you included olive oil - it is my cooking best friend.
I was a little shocked over the fact that my husband's snobby sister used vegetable oil to cook chicken... bleh.
I have lost all respect for this site. How could you even BEGIN to list the spork as a good invention. It's a spoon and a fork, but like it's name it's not quite good at either of them. In fact it sucks as a spoon because it's too shallow and it sucks as a fork because the prongs are too small.
One thing you didn't mention about baking soda: mixed with water, it is the absolute best short-term acid reflux and heartburn remedy available!
Maybe that bumps it up on the list?
@Roadkill: This is so true. The spork need a major re-engineering, with longer tines, a deeper bowl AND to make it the ultimate utensil, a knife edge on the left edge of the spork.
Duct tape and zip ties.
NO! Vinegar and Baking Soda should not be on that list. When you combine the two, they foam! And foam means rabies!!!!
Good job on the spork though. It's better than a foon, which is basically a curvy spatula.
And don't forget the #1 use for the #1 winner: douching!
@pegr:
Tea and coffee have approximately 2 Calories per cup, obviously that's before you add anything. So I think you can consider them effectively calorie free. like diet sodas. But as Tank points out dihydrogen monoxide is great and completely calorie free.
@Roadkill: and @wyldhoney: Like this? Spork XM
must be a slow news day
Chocolate.
Why? Because it can help you get laid.
@cwalters: too funny!
I would add toilets. There are just not enough good things I could say about that invention.
@cwalters: To everyone: PLEASE don't take that as an invitation to write similar insult-comments, or Ben and Meghann will tan my hide.
I would have to add toilet paper then...makes toilets more user friendly and hygenic@DrGirlfriend:
Glue. Good for sniffing, eating, and sticking things together.
The movement toward poptop lids on soup cans. If your opener has ever lost its teeth gripping ability mid use on a tasty can of soup, you know I'm right.
Duct tape and WD40. If it sticks and it shouldn't, use WD40. If it moves and it shouldn't, use duct tape.
That is ALL one needs.
Tampons...half of us don't use them, but for the other half (including me), they're pretty indispensable.
Diapers: great for long roadtrips!
@cwalters: [Grammar Nazi Comment]! [Disparaging remark about sloppy editing that contains a typo and misused apostrophe]. [Hostile disagreement with list items]!!!
[Random insult thrown at someone earlier on the list for disagreement]!
Perfect! Although I must point out that olive oil can act as an air freshener, too, so it should be much higher on the list.
Your forgot a bunch of good ones...
What about THE COTTEN JEN, THE WATER WHEEL AND MILL, Hell, THE WHEEL IN GENERAL, EVEN LITTLE WIMPY PEOPLE CAN MAKE HEAVY LOADS GO LONG DISTANCES...
WOW! That was like such a maximum waste of time I'm actually going to spend MORE time commenting not on how LITTLE that article contributed to my day BUT INSTEAD TO TYPE IN ALL CAPS ABOUT THE FACT THAT IT WAS A TOTAL *ZERO!*
Thanks Lifehacker for cross-posting this completely mind-numbed bag of electrons.
No, don't stop smoking pot for our sakes!
Love,
Your loyal readers!
We should add CORN. Corn and its by-products are in basically everything (i.e. it's an ingredient in envelope glue). People who have corn allergies practically have to live like the Amish. I've seen it. It's positively scary.
I had much higher hopes reading the headline. C'mon guys, did this take you five minutes to write at the bar last night? You are usually so great, I waisted 2 minutes reading this, and I want them back.
@Tank: I swear to god, if one more idiot makes that stupid attempt at a joke... It's not funny or clever and you are far from the fist person with internet access and a below average IQ to try it. You are exactly why #9 should be replaced with salt.
*first, not fist
Walls. I would have voted for walls as they actually CREATE spaces. There would be no inside, no outside without walls.
You missed one of the most revolutionary technologies out there: string (of all materials and thickness) and its offshoot fabric.
Water! You can grow plants with it, consume it for nutritional purposes, or even wash your car. It's free at most restaurants, and available in many places through water fountains. Even when it's dirty and nasty it can be easily cleaned and reclaimed through distillation or filtering. Plus it has no clickwrap EULAs or usage restrictions, and is almost always available without signing a mandatory binding arbitration agreement!
@onrampofframp: There's always somebody late to the dance: mavrc
@JUST_PARANOID
I thought it was funny.
Oh, you guys forgot one. Windows Vista
@mavrc:
No, no, NO!!! Not dihydrogen monoxide! It's used in nuclear reactors, part of the styrofoam manufacturing process, and causes landscape erosion!!
@phospholipid:
Even worse, no interociters!
This ranks #1 in my blog of the top 10, top 10 lists of the year.
The internet should be number 1, because without it I would have no idea what to do with vinegar, olive oil, and/or ladders.
@Tank: indeed. i literally cannot live without it ;-)
you forgot fire!! i use it to heat my home and cook my food. if i don't like them i BURN THEM!!!
also you forgot air. don't beleve me? watch this infomercial.
sorry, here. [www.youtube.com]
Ya forgot clothing! Not only does it prevent freezing in the winter, but it also prevents the sheriff's deputies from arresting you for indecent exposure.
No booze?! Are you guys sure that you're over the age of - what - nine?!!
(And, no, I won't even bring up the "invention" of - err - self-pleasuring. Because that would only confirm my suspicion that the Consumerist offices come complete with a nap room and a rack for holding sippy cups.)