Oscar Mayer Wants To Buy World’s Largest Catsup Bottle Because The Wienermobile Is Lonely

(thewienermobile on Instagram)

(thewienermobile on Instagram)

One can only imagine how lonely it must be to live the life of a super-sized food item, one whose sole purpose is to advertise, not to be actually consumed: Long days filled with gawkers pointing out how big you are, with no one ever really getting you. But do you know who could understand what it’s like to be say, the World’s Largest Catsup bottle? The Wienermobile. And vice versa.

Which is why it makes sense that Oscar Mayer is looking into buying that big catsup, as a rep for the company tells Consumerist in what is definitely a PR stunt, but is kind of a match made at a backyard cookout nonetheless.

“Oscar Mayer heard that the World’s Largest Catsup Bottle was for sale, so we just had to send out the Wienermobile to check it out. With six large hot dogs on wheels traveling across the country all year, we could use a worthy condiment,” the rep says, echoing the Wienermobile’s recent Instagram post showing just that.

Think about it: One is designed to resemble a condiment, the other is a gigantic replica of a hot dog — they can understand exactly what the other is going through, even if one can roam the highways and byways of America while one is stuck just watching. At least they wouldn’t be lonely in spirit any longer.

But really? Is this a serious bid to buy the $500,000 bottle (and included property) or just adorable because they’re both large, inedible food items? It’s for real, Oscar Mayer’s rep confirms.

“The brand has been in touch with the bottle’s owner, and while they’re still in the early exploratory stage, both parties are very excited about the possibility,” she explains.

Best friends forever? Perhaps. Though we don’t think these two will be able to braid each other’s hair at sleepovers quite so easily.

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  1. DaveP says:

    This is just wrong. Everybody know that catsup (or ketchup) does not belong on hot dogs. Ever.

    • SingleMaltGeek says:

      Can I pay you to come tell this to my wife and daughter? They don’t listen to me. Mustard or GTFO!

      • MathManv2point0 says:

        No relish?

        • SingleMaltGeek says:

          Relish is acceptable, but really only a good idea with mustard. I mean, you need something to cut that sweetness.

          Same goes for onions. (Both diced, raw, and in that orange stuff that I have only ever seen at street carts in NYC.)

      • DaveP says:

        Sure! I usually do mustard and sriracha, but any topping other than ketchup is fine by me.

  2. C0Y0TY says:

    This could be a catastrophe. I can see the bottle getting stuck with the neck facing down when they try to move it, and they have to use force on the bottom of the bottle to get it moving…