While the mere mention of a bacon product can stir mouths everywhere into a foaming, slavering lather of gustatory desire, let’s not get carried away into thinking that everything bacon-flavored will taste good. Which is why we’re totally unsurprised that the reviews for Effervescent Bacon Tablets are pretty much united on the “eww, these are gross” front. You’ve been warned.
That’s because they’re supposed to be gross, see, as a prank item we first noticed from The Worst Things For Sale blog, lest you be blinded by the word bacon and fling yourself headlong into a disastrous situation.
But in reading the Amazon reviews, at least a few reviewers don’t appear to know it’s all for a gag. Instead, these reviewers seem to have pranked themselves.
“These things are awful,” one writes. “They barely fizz and they taste more like Alka-Seltzer than anything else. The do give off a smoked bacon aroma but the taste is wretched.”
Another had hopes dashed, as well: “If you’re hoping it would taste like bacon drippings, not even close. I’ve also tried the cup cake flavor tablets and it’s similarly awful. Don’t buy this.”
Do not buy tablets hoping they make liquid taste like meat: Noted.
Others, however, are clear in that this will not satisfy your bacon cravings. Which is kind of the point of reviews — this way you know what you’re getting into.
Anyway, if you’re looking to convince someone that they’re about to drink something that tastes good but then treat them to a horrible experience, this will work, if you’ve got 30+ minutes to wait for it to dissolve, reviewers note.
“I bought this item as a gag gift for a friend who loves bacon, so I got what I was looking for, but I wouldn’t recommend that anyone purchase this with the intent of consuming it,” one reviewer writes.
You know what this means, of course? There’s room on the market for an effervescent bacon tablet that actually tastes good/like bacon. Get to it!