True Confessions Of A Grown Man Who Wears Children’s XL Clothing

You’re standing in front of a rack of clothing and there’s something you really want — whether it’s a shirt or a pair of pants or whatever — and you feel like wailing, “They’re out of my siiiiiiize!” For many, there is a way out of such a disappointing situation: Just buy kids’ sizes, one admitted children’s department shopper explains in a new confession.

Sure, kids’ clothes can be cheaper, but many of you are probably thinking there’s absolutely no way you could fit into a shirt made for an 11-year-old boy, much less jeans designed for a tween girl.

But over at Esquire.com, where Chris Faraone is coming clean about his tendency to shop for mainly Ralph Lauren clothing in the children’s section of department stores, he points out right away that he’s no string bean. And yet, he makes it work so he can save money.

“The first thing you should know is that I’m not petite. At 5’10”, and with a face full of scruff, I haven’t been mistaken for a teenager since I stopped being one 15 years ago,” he writes. “Furthermore, my weight hovers around the 200-pound mark, yet I manage to fit comfortably in Ralph Lauren youth tops, from simple polos to bright rugby shirts.”

Unconvinced this is an okay idea? Straight up laughing? Either way — those items usually cost about half the price of adult sizes and it’s not like anyone will even notice… until they do. At which moment, prepare yourself.

Faraone writes of a media mixer he attended in Boston once, when someone who knows his Ralph Lauren needed more info on his outfit, asking how he found a Polo dress shirt with a pocket on the breast.

“In the silliest way possible, I’d feared this very moment,” he writes. “As the preppy reporter further observed, Ralph Lauren shirts traditionally lack a breast pocket, let alone one embroidered with a trademark Polo man. Somewhat stunned, I claimed it turned up at an outlet store a year or so earlier, which was technically true, but I still regret not being more honest. I would consider this confession a penance, but, in retrospect, I’m more proud of my thrift than otherwise embarrassed.”

His tips for gaming the department store? Just act like you’re shopping for your giant niece or nephew, and bring your items to the adult fitting rooms. Otherwise you could get some questions.

WHY I BUY RALPH LAUREN BOYS’ SIZES [Esquire.com]

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  1. MarthaGaill says:

    I’ve tried the youth thing before and I’ve noticed that kids clothes tend to have really long arms and really short torsos. I don’t know if prior to puberty kids are stumpy torsoed or what, but I had to give that up.

    • SirJanes says:

      As an adult I bought kids clothes at Sears for myself from about 1975-1995. Sears is not much fun anymore. Didn’t pretend to be buying for someone else. What’s the point of the game?

  2. mobafett says:

    I’m about that size and wear an Adult XL in most shirts. I think this guy is wearing clothes that are too tight. Give yourself some breathing room, man!