The Asbury Park Press reports that the would-be criminal walked into a Santander Bank in Jackson, NJ, on Wednesday afternoon.
Sporting a hooded sweatshirt and glasses, the man handed the teller a note demanding cash.
Rather than dive to the floor, scream bloody murder, hit a silent alarm, or try to slip a dye pack in with the demanded money, the teller instead insisted that the man remove his hood and show some ID.
The man responded not by waving a gun in the teller’s face, or telling everybody to turn out their pockets, but by claiming he didn’t have any ID. We imagine he even did that thing where you pat yourself down to confirm the lack of a wallet. Then he left. With no cash and only the inevitable slew of headlines to remember his ineptitude by.
For what it’s worth, police describe the man was described as white, just over 6 feet tall, wearing black wire-rimmed glasses, a gray hooded sweatshirt and a camouflage cap.