Mall Mainstay Brookstone May Go Bankrupt Because You’re Not Buying Enough Massage Chairs & iPod Robots

If everyone's home was more like this, maybe Brookstone wouldn't be thinking about bankruptcy...

If everyone’s home was more like this, maybe Brookstone wouldn’t be thinking about bankruptcy…

Brookstone, better known as the store in the mall where you try out all those cool gadgets and massage chairs you’ll never buy, is reportedly considering filing for bankruptcy protection, but don’t expect any awesome liquidation sales in the foreseeable future.

The Wall Street Journal reports that the retailer currently has around $200 million in debt, and there are only so many $130 app-controlled wireless robotic balls, or $100 bluetooth-enabled smart forks it can sell.

Sources tell the Journal that the bankruptcy filing would occur while Brookstone tries to woo investors to pay off that debt and get the company back in the black. This may involve closing stores, but right now the sources claim that straight-out liquidation of the 49-year-old New Hampshire-based company is off the table.

“In order to ensure Brookstone’s successful future, the Company is evaluating its options with respect to refinancing and/or restructuring its bond and other debt, and improving its capital structure,” the company said in a statement to the Journal. “We are in active discussions with our senior lender and an ad hoc group of Brookstone bondholders in regard to our bonds due October 2014, with the goal of coming to an agreement that is amenable to all parties. Importantly, our customers and employees can be assured that Brookstone will continue to operate as we always have.”

If anyone at Brookstone is reading, I would like to apologize for spilling that large Mountain Dew all over that massage chair at the Willow Grove Park Mall store back in 1987. I really should have alerted an employee but I was afraid you’d make me pay for the damage, so my friends and I fled until we found shelter in Spencer Gifts. It’s been my secret shame for more than 25 years… I had feared I would carry it to the grave.

You can now follow Chris on Twitter: @themorrancave

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  1. PsiCopB5 says:

    I have an idea for this outfit: Instead of “evaluating its options with respect to refinancing and/or restructuring its bond and other debt, and improving its capital structure,” how about selling stuff that’s not over-priced, under-useful, usually-flaky and sub-intuitive? Just wondering.

    • CommonC3nts says:

      They are catering to those who want overprice items like those that buy apple products.
      They probably need to add some neat things at a lower price range, but that could drive away their higher end pompus customers.

  2. Airwave says:

    Why don’t they just rebrand it as a bricks-n-mortar Sky Mall?

    • FusioptimaSX says:

      I was just thinking that Brookstone works as a SkyMall showroom! Not a bad idea at all! They need to do something to stay relevant and not go the way of The Sharper Image.