Planning Your Funeral At The Mall — Creepy Or Convenient?

People talk about the death of shopping malls in America, but it may be death that is breathing new life into some of these retail relics.

The AP reports that Forest Lawn, the operators of several cemeteries and mortuaries in Southern California, has spent the last two years selling its services via a number of in-mall kiosks in the area. And it’s only one of the funeral home chains turning toward more traditional retail locations to do business.

“We try to reach our audience where they are at and the mall is a great way to do that,” a rep for the company tells the AP. “And it’s also, perhaps, a way to reach people who might be a little leery about coming directly into one of our parks.”

That may not be such a bad move. Sure, there are plenty of funeral and burial plans that can be arranged well in advance, but there is just something grim about visiting a funeral home or a cemetery for shopping purposes.

“Funeral planning is something everybody knows they must do, but at the same time it’s something nobody wants to do,” explains the executive director of the International Cemetery, Cremation and Funeral Association. “Nobody gets up on a Saturday morning and says, ‘Gee, it’s a nice day. I wonder if I can go out and get myself a burial plot.’”

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  1. Liberal says:

    I would be more comfortable away from their regular work place because of how they act there. All somber.

    I will be looking for just the facts. costs, services etc. I will have no need to inspect or admire the vessel. The lighting will be better at the mall or a similar place. I think it needs to be brought out in the open. Lots of opportunity. They could have people from the eye bank, organ transplant people right there to talk to you. Explain it all. Working together.

    What creeps me out is someone cutting out bones and putting plastic pipes in there place in the shadows. I won’t be able to control what happens so i will try hard to make my wishes public so there is less chance of something off happening.

    • SingleMaltGeek says:

      Oh, I have a feeling that these will remain just kiosks and storefronts, to sell operations that stay in their usual location. There’s too much specialized work and disposal and all for them to adapt a space in a mall. Also, it will probably remain just as Serious a Business at these places as it is at the funeral home, because that’s how they manage to so grossly overcharge for basically dressing up an inanimate bag of meat and disposing of it.