‘Tis The Season To Use A Frozen Turkey As A Weapon During Grocery Store Brawl


We understand that the holiday season can get anyone’s duff up — it’s jungle out there, what with a shortage of Butterball frozen turkeys and all. So sure, maybe tempers were running high at a grocery store meat counter in Madison, Wis., but that’s no reason to start a food fight and use victuals as weapons.

Police say two groups of women got involved in a melee at a local grocery story during an argument over money. But soon punches were pulled when one woman pulled out pepper spray and sprayed two of her enemies, reports Channel3000.com.

That’s when the feathers started flying — or they would’ve if the frozen turkey one woman wielded as a weapon was still in his natural state. Officers made sure to include the fact that the frozen turkey was not only swung, but tossed, while two other women started throwing fists.

Things got messy when a pallet of eight boxes of bacon fell to the ground, mixing in with the pepper spray and turkey tossing. A witness who called the cops told them he was smacked in the head with a full container of yogurt.

The flying fists continued on the floor in the midst of the spilled yogurt and bacon, making what sounds to be some kind of furious salad dressing. It was a recipe for disaster, that’s for sure.

Cops were able to stop the women who’d been pepper sprayed and cited one for disorderly conduct, while the other combatants slipped away, ostensibly sliding on a yogurty path to freedom.

Woman wields frozen turkey in grocery store melee, police say [Channel3000.com]