New Airport “Exit Portals” Don’t Rain Down Money On Travelers Or Anything Fun

If you’re going to make me step into a clear tube that shuts behind me I darn well better be going to Narnia or get showered with hundred dollar bills. But hopping into a one-person contraption on the way out of the airport doesn’t look like much fun at all, especially in light of the already overly annoying security process.

Syracuse’s airport terminal just got a set of the new exits and already people are kind of confused. Is there a scanner? Can my mom come in with me? Is this beaming me up to Scotty on the starship Enterprise? No, no and no, explains CNYCentral.com.

The robotic voice tells travelers to step in, wait for the doors to close behind you, and then walk out the front when those doors close. The portals are simply meant to deter anyone who’s exited from going back into the terminal. It’s just a one-way tube, no transportation to lands thus far only imagined and no falling money. Boring.

“We need to be vigilant and maintain high security protocol at all times. These portals were designed and approved by TSA which is important,” said Syracuse Airport Commissioner Christina Callahan.

It’ll save the airport money because staff and police won’t have to monitor the exits as they did before, only show up if there’s trouble.

She adds that the Transportation Security Administration approved the design and installation, and it seems these tubes to nowhere fun could show up in other airports soon enough. I’m going to throw a fistful of cash up in the air if I ever get in one, just because.

Syracuse airport renovation introduces new ‘exit portals’ [CNYCentral.com]

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  1. theoriginalcatastrophegirl says:

    headlines coming soon:
    “woman arrested after leaving purse in airport terminal and making a scene at the exit portal because her ID is in the purse and she can’t get back through security to get it.”
    “family tackled by TSA agents after 3 year old runs out through exit portal and frantic parents go nuts”

  2. SingleMaltGeek says:

    Guess what? We’ve had these fancy “one way exit doors” in NYC subways for….oh, 30-40 years.

    And they’re MANUAL: http://assets.nydailynews.com/polopoly_fs/1.474936!/img/httpImage/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/landscape_635/alg-subway-turnstiles-jpg.jpg

    • MissPurdy says:

      good point, but they don’t stop anyone from tossing something through the bars. I agree thought that the TSA regulations are ridiculous and most of this is security theater

      • SingleMaltGeek says:

        Hm, you also have a good point. But you couldn’t fit luggage through those bars. Nothing thicker than a wallet would fit, and they would still do what the post claims is the point: “The portals are simply meant to deter anyone who’s exited from going back into the terminal.”

        The only reason I can think of to use these new doors instead would be to keep out the cold weather. The full-height turnstiles plus regular automatic doors like at the rest of the airport would do that, and probably still be cheaper than these new exit doors. Still, I suppose every thing that adds to the cost of my idea would make the new doors less of a stretch.

  3. LooseSasquatch says:

    Can we please just abolish the TSA and go back to pre-2001 security? No one is trying to bomb/take over your plane, and even if they were, the chances of it happening to you are still less than the chances of you being hit by lightning while swimming underwater in an indoor pool with all the doors closed or of being attacked by a shark while waiting on the plane to go sky diving.

    Just stop with the security theater, hassling all of us doesn’t make us feel safe and news flash, doesn’t ACTUALLY make us any safer, just more angry, stressed, and late for our flights.

  4. MissPurdy says:

    I don’t mind having these at the airport, it saves a ton of money by not having to pay security guards to sit at the exit. The Syracuse airport has been woefully outdated for decades, mostly due to the expense of paying overtime to the Syracuse police for security. The city finally established an airport authority to run it and have privatized security, something that was long overdue.

    And thank God they’re upgrading the concessions as well beginning next year. These are all good things happening.