KFC’s recently launched Go Cup, which combines the thrill of eating fried foods with the exhilaration of being stuck in traffic on the way home, is just the latest from the attention-seeking food-marketers at Yum! Brands who brought you the Double Down, the Doritos tacos, and cheese on donuts. But Stephen Colbert thinks KFC could still make it even more convenient to clog your arteries while clogging the intersection.
On last night’s Colbert Report, the host admitted that KFC’s “new potato-and-poultry Big Gulp… is a good idea, but it could be gooder.”
“Last time I checked, the cup-holder is still an arm’s length away from the ol’ grub chute,” continued Colbert, “and it’s not like you can put the Go Cup between your legs because that’s where the tub of Ben & Jerry’s goes.”
Colbert then generously suggested what he believes is an improvement on the Go Cup — the Wheel Meat, “A one-piece, circular macro-nugget that mounts snugly onto your steering column.”
No more reaching for that snack while you’re enjoying your evening commute. It’s right there in your hands, along with sauces that automatically coat the Wheel Meat as you steer. You don’t even need to take your hands off the steering wheel, as you can just lean forward and chow down directly on the Wheel Meat.
Of course, reminds Colbert, safety first: “Remember, it’s hands at 10 and 2, mouth at 12.”