Calling 9-1-1 Won’t Help You Find The Red Jell-O When It Disappears From The Fridge

Here we were, thinking we couldn’t say it enough times that it’s not acceptable to rush to the authorities with non-emergencies — an unsavory taste experiencecell phones in the movie theatera penny’s worth of overcharging for a beer — and yet, it’s still happening. People are still dialing up 9-1-1 all in a dither over things like some strawberry Jell-O disappearing from the fridge at work.

CBS Philly says this time the caller was on the trail for a bunch of no good, lowdown and dirty workplace thieves who allegedly snagged his Jell-O from the communal refrigerator.

A police report says the employee called the cops to report “that an unknown person stole his Jell-o brand strawberry Jell-o snack from the break room refrigerator.”

He was angry, because as is the common experience in these situations, this wasn’t the first time. He’ll have to cool his heels though, as cops noted “the incident remains under investigation.” Yeah, good luck with that one, pal.

One more time, folks: If you or someone else is in imminent danger, if there’s been bodily harm done to you or someone else, if the building is on fire (Jell-O and all) or there is a ninja sliding down a rope in the middle of the room intent on avenging his father’s death and he has mistaken you for the perpetrator, then you can call 9-1-1.

If you need help ordering Chinese food, if you didn’t like your chili or you just need a ride somewhere, hang up the phone. It’s that easy.

Berks County Man Calls Police To Report Stolen Strawberry Jell-O [CBS Philly]