Dear Microsoft: Buying Xbone.com Won’t Stop The Mean Kids From Making Fun Of You

Ye shall be known as the Xbone, henceforth and unto eternity!

Ye shall be known as the Xbone, henceforth and unto eternity!

In The Dark Times Of 7th Grade That Should Mostly Remain Un-Referred To, I thought that if I made fun of myself, the Mean 8th Grade Boys Who Resented Spelling Bee Successes* wouldn’t have any power over me anymore. But just like I was probably (read: definitely) wrong, it’s highly likely that people will still call the Xbox One the Xbone, even now that Microsoft has purchased the Xbone.com domain. 

Nicknames can be a cute thing even when they sound mean, if they’re meant with affection — “You’re the handsomest weeniehead!” and “Gimme a kiss, dummy!” — but that’s not the case with Xbone, the moniker deferred on the Xbox One in light of its consumer-unfriendly features, notes Forbes.com contributor Paul Tassi.

And so of course, the company just bought Xbone.com. Beat the bullies to the punch! So far though, it’s not much of an anti-bone campaign, just a redirect to a Bing search page.

A little background: Right after the system premiered alongside its laundry list of consumer-unfriendly features, some of which no longer exist, the gaming community bent its clever collective brain to the task of coming up with a derisive name for the thing. Xbone, because it’s faster to type and also because it’s “boning” customers with its restrictions and DRM.

It appears that many at the company don’t like the nickname. Major Nelson (or Larry Hryb as he’s known outside the world of Xbox) said he isn’t a fan, notes GameZone.

“I don’t like it,” he said on NeoGAF on Sept. 9, just two days before Microsoft acquired the domain name. “It disrespects the teams that have put in thousands of hours (already) into the development of the product.

“Sure, it’s cheeky,” he admitted, “but I don’t care for it myself.”

Considering the company you work for just bought that domain name, we’re pretty sure you’re stuck with it now, Major.

*You know who you are, and I bet none of you are the “hot” guys anymore and I hope you have terrible golf/credit scores.

Microsoft Secures ‘Xbone’ Domain Name [Forbes.com]