What’s The Saddest Meal You’ve Ever Made For Yourself?

Salt and pepper to taste.

Salt and pepper to taste.

What is that transforms a solo meal from a nice, peaceful activity to a true moment of soul-crushing aloneness? A lack of time, motivation, or a general sense of “I just can’t summon the energy to fire up the microwave” — whatever it is, we’ve all been there. Maybe it was a quick dinner of blue raspberry Atomic Sourballs and a few Zimas* in your younger days, and now it’s a bottle of White Zinfandel Strawberry Arbor Mist, conveniently packaged with single-serving of Chips Ahoy.

Don’t believe me? Check it, as seen on this guy’sInstagram (h/t Jezebel):

This is a real thing. That you can buy.

(Instagram) This is a real thing. That you can buy.

Because not everyone has access to whichever store is selling wine and cookies as a bundle, I asked around/bugged my friends for a few single person recipes. Just imagine they were taped together with duct tape and sold in MBQ’s Bazaar Of Broken Dreams:

• 1 package of ramen (dry), two Daily’s pre-mixed margarita slushy beverage pouches (rim the glass with Pixie Sticks powder if you’re feeling fancy!)

• 1 hot dog (pre-cooked, so no need to cook again) on a hamburger bun, Miller High Life (Champagne of beers, treat yourself!)

• 1 Slim Jim’s + cheese package, six-pack of Mike’s Hard Lemonade, in “whatever that berry flavor is.”

• A few handfuls of dry cereal and the rest of your roommate’s old bottle of Parrot Bay Rum.

But that’s not how we want to end things. We want your most Forever Alone culinary experiences in photographic form. Have you paired that neglected bottle of brandy someone left at your house during a party once with a package of Haribo gummy bears and called it brunch? Please send photographs and recipes to tips@consumerist.com with the subject line DINNER FOR ONE.

We can help each other through this, by accepting that all of his has happened before. And it will happen again.

*Zima lovers unite! There’s an effort to bring it back, via petition. Just FYI.