Starbucks Now Wants To Sell Yogurt Because It Can And People Will Probably Buy It

stamosgrabaPerhaps motivated by all those Stamos-starring Oikos commercials, Starbucks has decided to venture into yet another consumer food market, partnering with Dannon parent company Danone to release its own line of white goo that will never be as yummy as ice cream no matter what you put in it, or “yogurt” as some people refer to it.

The Starbucks yogurt will come with the unwieldy name of “Evolution Fresh, inspired by Dannon,” which is itself inspired by the Evolution Fresh brand The coffee kingpin Tuesday will announce plans to strategically align with French yogurt maker Danone and create yogurt products labeled with the Starbucks-owned Evolution Fresh juice brand the coffee colossus purchased a couple years back from the guy who created Naked juices.

USA Today says that the first product will be a “ready-to-eat Greek yogurt parfait” that will be sold in Starbucks starting next year and eventually in retail stores by 2015, at which point Dannon will need to scratch up another semi-has-been celebrity to shill for the stuff.

May we suggest Bronson Pinchot? Or perhaps Ian Ziering?

“With the fast-growing but still low-penetration yogurt category, the U.S. remains a key growth opportunity for Danone,” said Danone CEO Franck Riboud, presumably between filming a video diary about how Activia helps promote digestive health.

Dannon already has about 30% of the U.S. yogurt market and getting its product into the country’s biggest coffee chain will likely only increase its share.