Man Sentenced To 50 Years In Prison For Stealing Rack Of Ribs

Listen, we’re not about kicking people when they’re down, even if they are being horrible, terrible, no good, very bad consumers. But we’ve gotta say, we really hope the rack of ribs a man in Waco, Texas stole were of the very juiciest, delectable kind, because he’s just been sentenced to 50 years in jail for that crime.

From the sound of it, the judge doesn’t see the man as some kind of modern day Jean Valjean — the Waco Tribune Herald says his previous five felony and four misdemeanor convictions prompted the judge to recommend he be sentenced as a habitual criminal.

It all started back in September 2011, when the man tucked a $35 rack of ribs under his shirt and attempted to leave a grocery store without paying. Things took a potentially violent turn into robbery charges when the man threatened a grocery store employee who had spotted the ribs under his shirt, and tried to stop him in the parking lot.

The employee testified that when he asked the man what was under his shirt, the ribs fell out. He asked what else he was hiding and the man answered, “I got a knife” and added, “If you don’t leave me alone, I’ll show you what I got.”

“This verdict shows that the citizens of this county will not tolerate a continued disrespect and disregard for other people and their property,” said the Assistant District Attorney who prosecuted the man. “People who choose to do so will be dealt with seriously and appropriately.”

*If you don’t know Jean Valjean (stole a loaf of bread to feed his sister’s kid, sentenced to hard labor, awful, etc.) and Les Miserables you did not grow up in my house, my apologies for your loss.

Theft of ribs gets five-time felon 50 years in prison [Waco Herald Tribune]