Amazon’s Stupid Shipping Gang Thinks Two Pieces Of Paper Will Protect My Speaker

Those pieces of paper are just protecting each other.

Those pieces of paper are just protecting each other.

Consumerist reader Howard must’ve breathed a hugesigh of relief upon opening a box from Amazon containing his new center speaker. Some thoughtful, kind person had tossed in not one, but two thin sheets of paper, as protection against all the calamities that can befall packages.

Your sarcasm alert should be going off right about now because in what world would two pieces of crumpled paper protect anything? Unless there was say, another piece of paper in the box that needed to be protected, or perhaps if the box was a whole lot smaller..

“The box had two pieces of paper cushioning which wasn’t padding anything,” notes Howard. Basically, why even bother?

Of course, the actual box the speaker comes in had its own defense in the form of two big pieces of styrofoam (yes, we know it’s actually extruded foam) holding it in place — but what if it didn’t? We doubt the Stupid Shipping Gangster factored that in when putting together the shipment.

“Both pieces were broken, but it did seem secure,” Howard adds of the foam. “I guess I’ll find out if it still works later tonight…”