Congratulations, Jamie Dimon, You’re The Sexiest CEO In America!

The face of a winner

The face of a winner

The last week has been great for Jamie Dimon, CEO of JPMorgan Chase, or would be if he were a regular reader of Consumerist. Last Thursday, our readers voted his company to be less terrible than Bank of America in our annual Worst Company in America tournament. Today, our readers declared him to be the official Sexiest CEO in America!

…Or would have, if the entire tournament weren’t an April Fool’s Day joke. We don’t even have a Golden Golden Parachute trophy, an analogue to the WCIA Golden Poo, ready to award to the winner. At least, Mr. Chairman, we managed to prove that not all of us peons hate rich people. Or we resent some rich people less than we resent other ones. Especially if they’re really hot.

MORE SEXY RANTS FROM JAMIE DIMON:
Chase CEO Wants You All To Know “We Live In A Free. Fucking. Country.”.
JPMorgan CEO Jamie Dimon On $2 Billion Loss: “We Have Egg On Our Face”
Chase CEO Wants Everyone To Lay Off On Hating Rich People
Chase To 15% Of Cardholders: Drop Dead