Good Luck Getting Passengers To Sign Up For A Cross-Atlantic Trip On The Titanic II

I'll never let go, Jack.

I’ll never let go, Jack.

Of all the legendary, cursed names in all the world, nothing says “yeah, that’s not gonna work” like “Titanic.” We don’t have to tell you why, unless you’ve been living under a rock for your entire life. So while it’s nice that a billionaire is building a replica of the ship and even dubbing it Titanic II, the fact that he expects people to actually sail in that thing across the Atlantic? Oof.

While there are surely plenty of Titanicophiles (made that word up, deal with it) who’ve pictured themselves on the decks of the doomed ship, actually climbing aboard and entrusting your life to such an ill-named boat on the open sea is a whole other story.

More than 100 years after the Titanic hit an iceberg and sank in the Atlantic, billionaire and professor Clive Palmer’s Blue Star line unveiled the blue prints for the next iteration today, reports Mashable.

It’s expected to travel from Southhampton, England to New York by 2016, carrying 2,600 passengers and 900 crew members. But oh, it’ll be three inches longer than its prececessor, so there. Totally different.

The fun continues with 1920s costumes for those onboard (even though the ship sank in 1912, so…?) and features based on that fun class system they had back then, like separate dining rooms for second and third class. First class passengers will be kept apart from second and third class pretty much everywhere, unless you want to slum it by making out in a steamed up car in the cargo hold, perhaps.

Also: a gym, Turkish baths, a squash court, a grand staircase and swimming pools.

And lest travelers be worried about that whole, “this ship is totally doomed thing,” Palmer repeated almost the same line the original ship’s builders trotted out: “It will be the most safe cruise ship in the world when it launches.”

“Anything will sink if you put a hole in it,” he added, saying the company is researching worst-case scenarios. “I’m not super-superstitious. We are staying true to the original Titanic and a lot of those designs and full experience that never saw the light of day, but there will be some updates too.”

Might we recommend enough lifeboats for everyone on board?

Some of those updates include modern niceties like air conditioning and Internet, but no TVs in the state rooms. So if you want to really tempt fate and watch Jack and Rose cling to a board in the frigid ocean, you’ll have to bring your own device.

So how much will you have to pay to laugh in the face of history? Ticket prices haven’t been announced yet, and Palmer won’t say how much the project costs. Just that he can afford it.

“We aren’t going to divulge the cost because I have enough money to pay for it,” he said. “Cost isn’t what it is about. It’s about creating a memory of the Titanic.”

We’ll be staying on land, but good luck to whoever decides second time’s the charm.

‘Titanic II’ Will Set Sail by 2016, Costumes Included [Mashable]