The Double Sensation Pizza is less of a pizza and more just a bunch of seemingly random things thrown on top of and stuffed into a pizza crust.
Make that two pizza crusts. Yes, in addition to the outer collar of dough (itself stuffed with “cheesy chicken sausage”), there is an inner circle stuffed with “3-flavour cheese.”
Inside that bullseye are slices of what we believe is the “succulent smoked chicken” described in the ad, while the outer regions are covered with turkey ham.
And of course a pizza with two crusts, three kinds of meats and cheese that has three flavors also requires multiple sauces. In this case, it’s “pepper alfredo” (which would be a great name for a stripper/porn actor/TLC reality star) and good ol’ salsa.
“Surprise your taste buds with every bite this festive season,” reads the ad, which fails to mention the red gem in the center of the pie — a single cherry. Because when you’ve gone to this level of crazy, why not?
Our pals at Eater dubbed this “the Inception pizza the world has been waiting for.” And just like Inception, it’s probably best left on the screen and not brought into the real world.