Anyone on Facebook knows that person in their group of “friends” who seems to live and die by whether or not people like, comment, or otherwise interact with each little status update. So to feed those emotionally needy beasts, the revenue-hungry folks at Facebook have launched some nonsense called Promoted Posts, where you can pay money to have more people see your kids’ first day of school photos.

“Sometimes a particular friend might not notice your post, especially if a lot of their friends have been posting recently and your story isn’t near the top of their feed,” writes Facebook in its announcement of Promoted Posts, which have already been tested in New Zealand (why not?) and a handful of other countries. “When you promote a post – whether it’s wedding photos, a garage sale, or big news – you bump it higher in news feed so your friends and subscribers are more likely to notice it.”

Users, who will reportedly pay around $7 for the privilege of looking desperate for attention, will also be able to see a breakdown between regular views and paid views.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to go pay a few bucks to let everyone know I picked up my dry cleaning this morning.

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