Comment Of The Day: Bacon Is A Vegetable

Coffee: I’ve heard that vegetarian bacon is proof of the existence of God.

If there is vegetarian bacon,
Then there is a devil.
If there is a devil,
There must be a God.
There is vegetarian bacon.
God exists.

QED

Comments

Edit Your Comment

  1. samonela says:

    30 seconds in the microwave for softer bacon, one minute for crispy!

  2. Biblio Fiend says:

    “The argument goes something like this: `I refuse to prove that I exist,’ says God, `for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing.’
    `But,’ says Man, `The Babel fish is a dead giveaway, isn’t it? It could not have evolved by chance. It proves you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don’t. QED.’
    `Oh dear,’ says God, `I hadn’t thought of that,’ and promptly vanished in a puff of logic.
    `Oh, that was easy,’ says Man, and for an encore goes on to prove that black is white and gets
    himself killed on the next zebra crossing.”
    -Douglas Adams

    I love this quote – don’t know if it was an intentional homage but thanks for putting it in my head and giving me a chuckle today!

  3. lovemypets00 - You'll need to forgive me, my social filter has cracked. says:

    I tried Butterball brand turkey bacon (it was on sale and I had a good coupon), and I find it’s passable for things like adding to a salad or sandwich. I wouldn’t eat it by itself with eggs, but still…lots less calories and fat than regular awesome pig bacon!

    I’ve already made it clear to everyone that I will never give up eating bacon, as I consider it one of the basic food groups.

    • ccwax says:

      When I compared turkey bacon to pork bacon there were less calories because the serving size was cut in half. Turkey bacon had more sodium too!

      • lovemypets00 - You'll need to forgive me, my social filter has cracked. says:

        AAAGGGHHH! Can’t win! I’ll just eat good old fashioned bacon from my neighbor’s butcher shop. :)

  4. cspschofield says:

    I think that vegetarian bacon is proof that a great many people who claim to be happy vegetarians aren’t happy, and aren’t all that concerned with their health (just what would you have to do to vegetable matter to make it taste like bacon?).

    • Weekilter says:

      Or kosher bacon for that matter.

    • dks64 says:

      How are those even related? Most vegetarians I know didn’t give up meat because of taste, but for ethical reasons. Eating faux meats doesn’t compromise values. Not all vegetarians are even doing the lifestyle for their health. I eat faux bacon, I’m VERY happy as a long term vegetarian, and I’m very healthy (had bloodwork 4 months ago that proves it).

    • Ben says:

      Vegetarian bacon isn’t unhealthy. And it does taste good.

      Yes, vegetarians are actually able to live happy lives without regular injections of fat and salt.

      • 85% Real 15% Filler says:

        I wouldn’t say that processed vegan bacon product tastes good unless you are really into eating salted and smoked paper and plastic products. Then, yes it is delicious. As far as it being healthy…. 16g of the good stuff has 80 calories, 6.7g of fat (2 saturated), 330mg of sodium and 5.3g of protien. The “healthy” fake stuff in an equal portion has 60 calories, 4.5g of fat (.5 saturated), 220mg of sodium and 2g of protein.

        So if you are eating in moderation, you are splitting hairs. If you are pounding it down like the apocolypse is upon us, you just taking a little longer to split at the seams.

        I’ll take the extra pig protien and a little more salt that the butcher gives me.

        You can have the warm fuzzies and the: EGG WHITES, SOYBEAN OIL WITH TBHQ (tertiary butylhydroquinone) FOR FRESHNESS, TEXTURED SOY PROTEIN CONCENTRATE, MODIFIED CORN STARCH, WHEAT GLUTEN, HYDROLYZED VEGETABLE PROTEIN (CORN GLUTEN, WHEAT GLUTEN, SOY), CONTAINS TWO PERCENT OR LESS OF GLYCERIN, SALT, SOY PROTEIN ISOLATE (white slime), SODIUM CITRATE, SODIUM PHOSPHATE, SUGAR, NATURAL AND ARTIFICIAL FLAVORS FROM NON-MEAT SOURCES, TORULA YEAST, CARAMEL COLOR, MONOCALCIUM PHOSPHATE, SODIUM TRIPOLYPHOSPHATE (inorganic compund used in detergents), NATURAL SMOKE FLAVOR, MALIC ACID, GUAR GUM, YEAST EXTRACT, LOCUST BEAN AND GUAR GUM, SODIUM SULFITE, CARRAGEENAN, RED #3, DISODIUM INOSINATE, DISODIUM GUANYLATE, NIACINAMIDE, IRON [FERROUS SULFATE], AUTOLYZED YEAST EXTRACT (contains some free glutamic acid or monosodium glutamate (MSG) and is used as a less expensive substitute for MSG), NONFAT DRY MILK, YELLOW #6, VITAMIN B1 [THIAMIN MONONITRATE], VITAMIN B6 [PYRIDOXINE HYDROCHLORIDE], VITAMIN B2 [RIBOFLAVIN], CITRIC ACID, CYANOCOBALAMIN.

  5. Overman says:

    I’ve never been so desperate to eat a vegetable that I press ground beef into the form of a carrot.
    Why must vegetarians work so hard into fooling themselves?
    Just eat the damn carrot!
    And why make it out of turkey?
    Just eat the damn turkey!
    If its a calorie or fat issue, eat less bacon.

    • dks64 says:

      I don’t “work hard” into fooling myself. I like the taste, I occasionally enjoy foods that mimic the flavors of meat (or more accurate, the flavor added to meat to give it that flavor – like smokiness added to bacon). I really have to explain why I’m a vegetarian? You’ve never heard of a vegetarian for ethical reasons?

  6. lovemypets00 - You'll need to forgive me, my social filter has cracked. says:

    And in a timely manner from my friends at AllRecipes.com:

    Best Bacon Appetizers
    Flavor-packed bacon gives your party tray major punch. Watch Chef John make Candied Bacon, a guaranteed party hit.

    VIDEO: Candied Bacon

    more bacon appetizers
    • Bacon Popcorn
    • Bacon-Wrapped Stuffed Mushrooms
    • Grilled Bacon Jalapeno Wraps
    • Bacon and Date Appetizer
    • Bacon Ranch Chicken Skewers

    nom nom nom nom!!!

  7. samonela says:

    I love when articles incite diet-based bashing and judging!

    Was it not the late, great Rodney King that didn’t say, “Can’t all just eat alone?”

  8. shthar says:

    Another theory that fails once confronted with reality.

  9. lawnmowerdeth says:

    I’ve always wondered why vegetarians wanted to eat things that tasted like meat. Is eating a veggie burger like eating meat in effigy?

  10. EllenRose says:

    I have eaten vegetarian bacon, and it was okay. Vegetarian Canadian bacon was good. Neither compared to the real thing.

  11. Libertas1 says:

    Bacon Strips & Bacon Strips & Bacon Strips & Bacon Strips & Bacon Strips & Bacon Strips & Bacon Strips & Bacon Strips & Bacon Strips & Bacon Strips & Bacon Strips & Bacon Strips & Bacon Strips & Bacon Strips

  12. blackwindow says:

    Can we all decide that picture of Bacon Drink Tablets and the idea their of is the most disgusting thing ever.

  13. Harry Greek says:

    Romney isn’t even President yet, and the world is already a better place,….

  14. Zowzers says:

    they do seem to get more smug as they age though.