Kotex Was Totally Going To Get Around To Destroying Tainted Tampons But Someone Stole Them First

Kotex’s parent company Kimberly-Clark is totally willing to own up when one of its products is less than perfect. That’s why the company said it had intended to destroy a batch of tainted Kotex Natural Balance Tampons, which could contain unhealthy levels of bacteria and “metallic particles” that aren’t so good for you. But some odd villian thwarted that plan by swiping the tainted tampons and selling them to the public despite their unworthiness.

Over at the Dallas Observer, they’ve caught on to this unsavory character’s hijinks after receiving word from Kimberly-Clark, which is based in Dallas. The company warned that it is recalling the tampons, in part because the raw materials used to make them aren’t quite up to par. And then there’s that whole bacteria risk thing.

Apparently this batch was destined for whatever death meets tainted tampons  (Tampon bonfire? Incinerator? Shredding machine?) sometime between October 2011 and June 2012 but before that could happen, someone swiped them and sold them off.

The Food and Drug Administration is on the case and is checking into who got their hands on such a large quantity of unsatisfactory feminine hygiene products. While it hunts down the perp, Kimberly-Clark is telling consumers to immediately stop using the tampons.

There haven’t been any reports so far of consumers filing health complaints due to the products, but any customers with questions or concerns should call their doctor. If you think you have tainted tampons, call Kimberly-Clark at 877-485-6839 for instructions on where to send the impacted products in return for a full refund.

Check the company’s list here if you’re worried that you’re in possession of the tampons in question.

Kimberly-Clark Wants You to Know: There May Be Metal, Excessive Bacteria in Your Tampons [Dallas Observer]
Kimberly-Clark Issues a Consumer Advisory Regarding Certain Lots of Tampon Products [MarketWatch]

Comments

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  1. Charles Edward Winthrop III, Esquire, Investigator of the Unknown Music says:

    Translation: They sold them to Dollar Tree/Big Lots/etc, and got caught at it.

  2. Sorta Kinda Lucky Soul says:

    Somehow I doubt pieces of metal and bacteria help with absorption…..or that “super fresh feeling.”

  3. eezy-peezy says:

    These will show up at your local flea market.

  4. ChuckECheese says:

    Those aren’t metallic particles, they’re glitter.

  5. wombats lives in [redacted] says:

    May we totally get rid of the hipster headlines?

    • Princess Beech loves a warm cup of treason every morning says:

      Why? The tampons *did* have some possible iron-y in them.

  6. t2fastspin says:

    They got them off the market, but it wasn’t easy. They had to pull a few strings.

  7. Emperor Norton I says:

    They probably were going to sell them to a plating company to use as packing material.
    I remember working at a place years ago that got newly plated pieces packed in defective diapers.

  8. Sorta Kinda Lucky Soul says:

    They should have just repackaged them. My husband discovered that tampons dipped in gun cleaner and run through a shotgun barrel work spectacularly.

    • AtlantaCPA says:

      That’s really quite genius. He should see if he can buy them from whoever stole them and start his own business!

    • wombats lives in [redacted] says:

      Shoot! Why didn’t I think of that.

    • MarkFL says:

      Admittedly, I don’t know much about guns, but in the case of the tainted tampons, wouldn’t the metallic particles damage the barrel?

      • MarkFL says:

        Come to think of it, I know even less about tampons, and I know that in the case of the tainted tampons, the metallic particles will damage the barrel.

  9. StarKillerX says:

    How many are we talking about? I don’t know but I would imagine that each batch could be several trailer loads and if that’s true how do you make off with say 6 truckloads of tampons without someone noticing?

  10. Kisses4Katie says:

    What? Someone stole thousands of tampons out of a corporate warehouse, sold them to a physical retailer, and this is supposed to be a natural occurrence? I call bs.

  11. Trjgul says:

    This is why I use a silicone menstrual cup. Don’t have to worry about this crap, or spending money every other month. I highly recommend them.