No one purchases a one-dollar frozen pizza expecting a gourmet experience. Heck, they don’t even expect the meal to look all that much like the photo on the box. When reader Kitanaor picked up a Hawaiian-style Celeste pizza-for-one, though, she expected to find more than one piece of pineapple among the toppings.
Or maybe that one piece of pineapple is all that kept it from being sold as just a ham pizza.
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Is she sure that’re really pineapple, and not some funky piece of ham?
Besides, pineapple on pizza is an abomination.
Pineapple on pizza is awesome! now anchovies… thats another can of… anchovies.
Anchovies are awesome on a pizza. Whatchutalkinabout?!
> Besides, pineapple on pizza is an abomination.
False. Pepperoni and pineapple pizza is the best pizza.
False. Jalapeno and pineapple pizza is the best pizza.
> False. Jalapeno and pineapple pizza is the best pizza.
TRUTH
Although Pepperoni and Pineapple is not too far behind.
False. Bacon on any pizza is the best pizza.
I can’t argue with you there…a local bar makes pizza, and their “Hawaiian” uses bacon instead of Canadian bacon or ham…it’s delicious.
False. Onion and pineapple pizza is the best pizza.
I’ve had several of these. The singular pineapple is the exception but not by much. I think I have had maybe 4 or 5 pieces of pineapple, if that.
Hawaiian pizza has slices of Canadian bacon, not chunks of ham. This this was a fucking trainwreck even before someone got all stingy with the pineapple. But it’s a $1 pizza…you should expect a shitty product. Which is why I buy $1.50 Totino’s pizza…that extra $.50 makes a huge difference.
Wikipedia seems to think both count.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hawaiian_pizza
I think those might be hunks of SPAM, which would actually be a more accurate representation of the Hawai’ian cuisine. Maybe they could use poi instead of “LIQUID TOMATO PRODUCT” as the sauce….
$1 pizza is $1 pizza. Can’t say much more than that.
If you’re going to spend about a buck, and there’s a Trader Joe’s anywhere near you, try the pre-made pizza dough. It’s $1.19 where I’m at, it’s a pound of dough, and it’s damn near fool proof. Makes awesome calzones and pizzas with just a minor bit of effort on your part.
You lost a lot of people at “minor bit of effort”.
I don’t doubt that.
It’s “Pizza for One”. Just how much pineapple does “one” need?
apparently, one.
The needs of many pineapple outweigh the needs of the few, or one pineapple.
Never have so many suffered so much so that so few could be so happy.
For every pizza there is a pineapple that singular, concise and one.
The pizza is also a LIMITED EDITION?!?!
That pizza looks sad. It doesn’t even look good on the pizza box. I realize it is only $1 but WOW.
OMG, I need to put it in a Mylar Bag with an acid-free backer board and store it in my parent’s basement, RIGHT NOW.
I wonder how soon it will be until I can sell it on eBay for a tidy profit?
It’s a Limited Edition because the ingredients you get are limited (i.e., one).
This “pizza” is exactly why I learned to cook for myself.
OP should move the pineapple chunk to the middle of the pizza so that each slice can contain some pineapple.
That’s some nasty frozen pizza – I’d rather take the time and make my own, or spend the $17 at the local mom and pop pizza shop for a real pizza that actually tastes good.
$1.00 for this is overpriced.
Only buy the zesty 4 cheese pizza from that brand (you get slightly more cheese (almost enough to cover the entire pizza in a way where you cant see the saucy bread)
after that, add any toppings, and only buy it when you have a decent deal, eg 10 for $5
Also do not microwave them, the foil pad that they use is crap quality, since the pizza is not large enough for the pad, part of the pad will begin to wrinkle up and smell funny while microwaving.
They also do not gradient the foil on the pad (less on the outer edges and increasingly greater saturation near the center to counter the microwaves tenancy to cook the outer edges long before the center is even warm.
overall do not buy it unless you get a really good deal
How about a pizza with grapes!
It’s simple the pizza is a limited edition. Meaning limited stuff.
I worked at the plant in Jackson TN when Quaker Oats owned the Celeste brand in the early 90′s. They would sell us stuff approaching end-of-shelf-life for $4 per case and I always bought them. You can always make better on your own, but it’s hard to beat these for late night munchies.
This is the best headline I’ve read in a long while. Of course, I’m drunk alone on a Thursday night watching Boy Meets World (it’s the one where Topanga cuts her hair!), so take that how you will. But pluralizing ‘ham’ just makes me giggle.
And no matter the cost, I feel like this pizza was somebody’s idea of a funny after a long day at the pizza-making plant. “Ha HA, pizza buyer. You think you’re getting 23 pineapples on this pizza? WELL YOU’RE ONLY GETTING ONE. SUCK IT.”
That is a sad looking pizza but I guess it’s worth a buck. I would wonder what kind of “ham” is involved there… probably the stuff that wasn’t good enough for hot dogs.
Never has a cliche been so appropriate “You get what you pay for”
Well, it does say “pineapple and ham,” not “pineapples and ham.”
Okay, so how hard is it to get a can of pineapples and a 1/2 pound of ham from the deli counter and add them on the pizza before putting it into the oven?