NYC Shuts Down Trojan's Roving Vibrator Carts Since No One Is Allowed To Have Fun Anymore

(NYP)

Any New Yorkers looking for a free buzz will be left frustrated, as the city shut down Trojan’s roaming pleasure carts bearing free vibrators yesterday after crowds at the carts grew too large, causing the city to shut it all down. Time to go drown your sorrows in two smaller sized sodas instead of one huge one, guys.

While eager freebie-seekers may have been tracking the carts’ whereabouts yesterday in order to get one of the thousands of free Trojan Vibrations toys, city officials spoiled the fun when hundreds of people lined up at each expected location. An emissary was sent to one of the locations and told the Trojan reps to skedaddle, reports the New York Post. Fans were not pleased.

“I’m 57 years old. I should be able to get a vibrator!” one woman who had been waiting in line told the paper. “I have a problem with the smoking ban, and the soda ban — and now this!”

Trojan managed to hand out just a few hundred of the toys before the smackdown was instituted, apparently spurred by Mayor Bloomberg’s office. City Hall claims it’s all about lack of permits, because hey, really, the mayor is hip and cool with that kind of thing.

“This activity promoting Trojan products, which impeded pedestrian and street traffic, did not have a permit,” City Hall said in a written statement. “The production company affiliated with the event is currently in discussions with the Mayor’s Office to hold a promotional event with proper permits at a later date.”

Trojan says it’s hoping to get the proper permits and hit the streets once more today.

If you can’t get a free vibrator in a city like New York, what kind of world are we living in? That’s rhetorical, by the way.

City officials pull the plug on vibrator giveaway, leaving thousands dissatisfied [New York Post]