What Are The Most Inane Ad Slogans Ever?

It’s hot as heck-fire here in the Mid-Atlantic, so we’ve been spending a lot of time inside with the air-conditioning, watching all the great summer TV offerings — and rolling our eyes at the ads that are constantly hurled in our direction.

One spot that recently caught our attention and whose logic turned our brains inside-out is the Ruby Tuesday ad that asks, “What if there was a place where eating felt more like dining?”

You mean like a restaurant?

Or a dining hall?

Or a dining room?

Regardless, it brought up the topic of inane ad slogans, and we wanted to get the Consumerist hive-mind opinion on what y’all consider to be the most baffling slogans ever.

Just a quick survey around Consumerist HQ came up with a few, like:
Hilton: “Travel should take you places.”
Maxwell House: “Good just got great.”
Wendy’s: “You know when it’s real.”

And this one, which is more of a flat-out lie than a slogan–
Verizon: We never stop working for you”

Anyway, amuse yourself, each other and us by sharing your thoughts in the comments on the most inane advertising slogans ever.

Comments

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  1. Fubish says: I don't know anything about it, but it seems to me... says:

    “We report, you decide.”

  2. StatusfriedCrustomer says:

    American Airlines’s “We Know Why You Fly” — really now? They have never once asked me why I was traveling or who I was going to visit.

  3. TheMansfieldMauler says:

    “It’s Just Like a Mini Mall”

  4. dush says:

    What can Brown do for you?

  5. reimero says:

    “Here we go!”

  6. wade says:

    “…for us to say you’ve got to take a responsibility to get health insurance is absolutely not a tax…”

    • StatusfriedCrustomer says:

      I’m surprised they are not marketing it as a “tax deduction” for uninsured people who do buy health insurance. … or they are saving that for October maybe.

    • ttw1 says:

      Boo-hoo

  7. Dave on bass says:

    We think the latest 5-Hour Energy slogan is terrible *and* unneccessary. “5-Hour Energy: Hour and Hours of Energy.” WTF?

    I like to re-punctuate slogans to make them funny, to me at least:
    – Budweiser: This Is Beer?
    – Kentucky Fried Chicken: We Do Chicken, Right?

  8. bitslammer says:

    Here in Cincinnati it has to be 5/3rd Banks thing I heard jsut a while ago on the radio.They said somehting like 5/3rd bank…the curious bank.

    Curious is not the type of trait I look for in someone who I will be trusting my investments. Curiosity killed the cat. I can just see those whacky curious portfolio managers saying “Gee! I wonder what it would be to invest a few million in a lead mine?”

    They should definitely not let the summer interns in marketign come up with the slogans.

    • Oranges w/ Cheese says:

      THIS! They claim they’re curious because they’re innovating things like their Duo card (debit and credit in one card) HEY GUESS WHAT – I can already do that with my debit card from USAA. Wow. Amazing.

  9. penuspenuspenus says:

    British Airways: To Fly. To Serve.
    Not terrible, but it sounds like a recruitment poster for the airforce.

    Spirit Airlines: Catch the Spirit!
    Go to Hell.

    http://www.textart.ru/database/english-advertising-slogans/airline-advertising-slogans.html

  10. Costner says:

    Apple: “Think Different”

    There is a reason my iPad has a laser engraving that reads: “Think Different… Just Like Everyone Else”.

    • Oranges w/ Cheese says:

      My ipod says “There are many like it but this one is mine.”

    • Back to waiting, but I did get a cute dragon ear cuff says:

      That campaign was run during Apple’s darkest times. It started before there was an iPod and was discontinued about the same time that they released the 2nd iPod, the one that would work on Macs or Windows, the first iPod only ran on Macs. Apple’s penetration in the consumer market was basically the 4% of the personal computer market. So at that time, you really did have to think different to be one of the less than 5% that used Apple products.

      This was not a campaign to get people to switch. This was preaching to the choir. This was a campaign for the few faithful to give us hope. And it worked. This was a spark of the old Apple that showed the faithful that they shouldn’t abandon the brand.

      Yes, I have been using Apple computers since 1988.

      • nishioka says:

        Wish I had thought different and bought up as much Apple stock as I could afford in 1997. I’d be wiping my ass with $100 bills now.

      • Costner says:

        I just find the irony in how they have pretended (and continue to pretend) to be unique, but when you scrape away the surface they are much the same. They weren’t the first to invent a graphic user interface, they just improved upon it.

        They weren’t the first to invent a portable music player that played MP3s… they just improved the design.

        They weren’t the first to invent a tablet either, but they made people think they were.

        They use Intel hardware in their laptops just like many other companies, they outsource production to companies in China just like many other companies, they sue people who they feel have infringed upon their patents just like many other companies, and they do a great job of marketing.

        When you really look at them – they aren’t all that unique. They have just marketed themselves better than anyone else. They are to technology as James Dyson is to vacuum cleaners or Amar Bose is to stereo speakers.

        Good for them – more power to them, but when they speak of innovation and rethinking the entire concept of personal computing I just have to laugh.

      • eyesack is the boss of the DEFAMATION ZONE says:

        In the era of OS 9, “Think different” was more like “Get a lobotomy.”
        Everything before and after the OS layer was usually good.

    • Cacao says:

      Besides which it should be “Think Differently“. Think is a verb, it takes an adverb not an adjective.

      • Worstdaysinceyesterday says:

        It is deliberately not phrased with ‘different’ as an adverb. To be different…it is not about thinking differently, but thinking of Apple as different.

    • tbax929 says:

      It’s not grammatically correct, either. That slogan has always bothered me.

      • kaleberg says:

        Speaking of grammatically incorrect slogans, does anyone remember “Winston tastes good like a cigarette should?”

  11. Applekid says:

    Bilboard on the way home: “Seafood’s seafood”

    I mean, I guess where they’re going, seafood so fresh that it’s alive and swimming before being eaten by something also in the water. But I just interpret that as, well, bait.

  12. AngryK9 says:

    The most inane ad slogans ever? In my opinion, every single one ever created.

  13. Mr_Magoo says:

    AT&T: “Your friendly neighborhood global communications company”

  14. AnonymousCommenter says:

    It’s Comcastic!

  15. BoilerBob says:

    Delta Air Lines used to have a slogan of We get you there

    Talk about setting the bar low

    • MFfan310 says:

      IIRC, Johnny Carson made fun of the “Delta Gets You There” slogan on The Tonight Show. Which is probably it was modified a year and a half later to “Delta Gets You There With Care”.

      And a year and a half after that, Delta adopted the well-known “We Love To Fly And It Shows” (which served them well for six years).

  16. VeryFroid says:

    Sara Lee : nobody doesn’t like Sara Lee

    • AtlantaCPA says:

      Until very recently I thought that was “Nobody does it like Sara Lee” which kind of makes sense and is kind of funny if you think about it with a different slant to it also.

      • TD99 says:

        Same here! It wasn’t until a few months ago when I saw a Sara Lee delivery truck with the slogan on the side.

        • Coleoptera Girl says:

          I didn’t know until just now…. I’m sad now! I’ll still think of it as “Nobody does it like Sara Lee…”

    • osiris73 says:

      Yep. This one. I cringe every time I hear it.

    • HogwartsProfessor says:

      That one always makes me laugh because I HATE Sara Lee breads.

      • VeryFroid says:

        So if HogartsProf hates Sara Lee bread, “nobody doesnt like Sara Lee”, does that make HogwartsProf nobody ? !

  17. MutantMonkey says:

    Time Warner Cable: “Fuck You, We Got Paid”

  18. aosmitty says:

    That beer company, using Blues Traveler’s ‘The Mountains Win Again’ line always made me WTF.

    That song is about mountains of pain overtaking the singer (about a bad breakup, as I recall) so it’s so ridiculously out of context it’s not even funny-ha-ha. Makes me wonder if ANYONE ever listened to that song.

  19. Fast Eddie Eats Bagels says:

    “every kiss begins with kay” I want to punch a baby every time I hear that.

    • kranky says:

      I think that’s one of the most clever slogans I’ve seen in a long time. Serious.

      Every kiss begins with “K” (kay).

    • Princess Beech loves a warm cup of treason every morning says:

      Hahahaha – same here. And the unappealingly cheesy commercials.

    • Mambru says:

      It’s better than “He went to Jared’s”

      • Maniacmous says:

        Thank you! When I was shopping for an engagement ring, I flat out refused to even enter that store based upon those ads making my brain hurt.

        • tbax929 says:

          I bought my gf a necklace at Jared’s and a coworker asked me if I was going to have a Jared moment. I don’t watch commercials, so I had no idea what she was talking about. So I found one of the commercials on Youtube. Yes, it’s bad.

    • ReverendTed says:

      It’s true though:
      “Hey there, I wanna kiss you.”
      ” ‘kay.”

  20. VeryFroid says:

    Ramanda Inn : “You do your thing, and leave the rest to us”

    • Jack T Ripper says:

      Sweet! So i just call room service for body disposal then? That is awesome. One Dexter Morgan checking in!

  21. PunditGuy says:

    It’s an old one: Citicorp’s “Because Americans want to succeed, not just survive.” Screw you, rest of the world!

    • StatusfriedCrustomer says:

      It’s obviously old – several words have two or more syllables. Modern slogans can only use one-syllable words.

  22. SerenityDan says:

    Popeyes- Louisiana FAST!

  23. B1gJ4k3 says:

    A local, organic grocery store in my neighborhood: “We are here for you”. That’s verbatim. No contraction, no nothing. Just “We are here for you.” The only joy I get out of it is that it reminds me of the episode of The Office where Dwight makes the sign that says “It is your birthday”

    The best part of it, though, is that they clearly don’t understand how copyright or trademarks work because everywhere they display it, it comes with the trademark (TM) symbol, which no IP lawyer in the world would have OKed.

    Facepalm…

    • AtlantaCPA says:

      To be fair, you don’t need a lawyer for the TM symbol, it’s the R with a circle you’re thinking of (registered trademark). But I agree, that would never stand up in court if they tried to get someone else to not use it.

    • Fafaflunkie Plays His World's Smallest Violin For You says:

      Which reminds me of McDonald’s slogan from many moons ago: “We do it all for you.” WTF? Then again, “I’m lovin’ it.(R)” doesn’t exactly flow with my experience with Mickey D’s.

  24. VeryFroid says:

    United Air : “come fly the friendly skies”, eh ? United friendly ?

    More like “come fly the surly bad attitude skies”

  25. Auron says:

    Not a slogan per se, but the whole cause and effect DirecTV campaign.

  26. yospiff says:

    Omni-American Federal Credit Union: “Our Interest starts with you”.

  27. Fubish says: I don't know anything about it, but it seems to me... says:

    Charmin’s “Enjoy the go!”

    Ick.

  28. cryptique says:

    “All my men wear English Leather … or they wear nothing at all.”

    I don’t know that “inane” is the right word…

  29. Princess Beech loves a warm cup of treason every morning says:

    I can’t get over Chupa Chups’ — “The pleasure of sucking” slogan.

  30. dobgold says:

    Budweiser’s “Grab some Buds”. I was ready to fire up my bong.

  31. Costner says:

    ♬ “Hot Pockets”♫

    Really? That is what they came up with? Just say the name of the product and use it as the jingle? I suppose they should get credit for truth in advertising – because they surely aren’t making any false statements with a clever slogan like that one.

    • cryptique says:

      I can’t imagine that you haven’t already heard Jim Gaffigan’s bit on that, but if you haven’t, now would be the time.

    • Raider Duck says:

      The most annoying part of those ads is when they show someone holding a freshly-prepared Hot Pocket in his hand as he eats. Unless you want third-degree burns on your fingers, I wouldn’t recommend it.

  32. doctor_cos wants you to remain calm says:

    I don’t understand why some companies ditch what I thought were pretty good ad slogans, whether you liked the company or not.
    Staples ‘That was easy’ was pretty good.
    Domino’s ‘Get the door, it’s Domino’s’ was really good, it summed up their image (again whether you like them or not).

    My biggest one is why Checker’s would drop ‘You gotta eat.’ What better slogan could a fast food place have?

  33. Reading Rainbow says:

    “I’ve got something for you”

    – Eagleman

  34. racermd says:

    “If you lived here, you’d be home by now!”

    Curiously, I don’t see similar banners on places of employment…

  35. ferozadh says:

    Happy cows come from California.

    • Jack T Ripper says:

      I always thought that should say “Bankrupt and over taxed cows come from California, but don’t tell the ranchers we stole them from that.”

  36. invisibelle says:

    I always thought “We try harder” was pretty dumb.

    I’m more here to just agree with the Ruby Tuesday one, though. As someone who used to proofread for an ad agency, I have a heightened sense of “fire that copywriter” – and that particular line sets off alarm bells for extreme laziness. How did that make it through? It boggles the mind.

  37. kranky says:

    The worst that I can recall is an old Domino’s pizza slogan – “Avoid the Noid”.

  38. chicagojay says:

    Shoppers Bite Back… Sorry, someone had to say it even if not true.

  39. dangergirljones says:

    Angel Soft TP “An ideal balance of softness and strength”

    And somehow they made it into a jingle

  40. lonestarbl says:

    The most repulsive and horribly obese american slogan out there… Golden Corral: “Help yourself to happiness”

    Kill yourself and make the world a better place

  41. enabler says:

    There is a local company here, John Henry’s Plumbing, that runs radio ads with the slogan, “We put our John Henry on everything we do.” Every time I hear it, I want to call them and tell them about John HANCOCK.

    • Worstdaysinceyesterday says:

      Maybe you just prefer Mr Hancock…but a John Henry is when you worked and slave and toil without regard for anything other than getting the job done. Kind of the same as ‘putting your back into it’.

  42. Rhinoguy says:

    Local dinner theater, “Play With Your Food”. it’s cute for about the first six times you hear it.

  43. Jack T Ripper says:

    There is a community near where I live whose slogan is “This is getting good.” The property is built on land owned by a copper mine. The ground water is multiple colors and you actually have to sign a waiver stating that if you get cancer after living there, you can never come back to sue the community. lol So the slogan “This is getting good” seems kind of weird. Shouldn’t it start as good already? If it is just getting good, then what is it right now? When will it actually be good instead of poor? Isn’t that the way it works? Poor, Good, Great? Stupid slogan….

  44. LogicalOne says:

    So Chris,

    Are you in a submarine? (“in the Mid-Atlantic”)

  45. Leftstrat says:

    KFC – “We have a real cook in every KFC..”.

    Well damn. I wanted to place my order, so someone in the back could run to Bojangles or Zaxby’s for me…

  46. BilliamJ says:

    You’ve got questions we’ve got answers (or blank stares)

  47. Three Foot Roo says:

    There’s one around here – I haven’t heard it lately, but I almost wrecked the car laughing when I moved here and saw a billboard – that I believe wins Most Incorrect Slogan Ever: “It’s Never Too Soon for Hospice Care.”

  48. Shadowman615 says:

    First I went to Denny’s who told me, “We’re cooking now!”

    So I left and went to Pizza Hut, who said, “Now you’re eating!”

    I like it when they explain this stuff to me.

  49. Shadowman615 says:

    Or De Beers: “How else could two-month’s salary last forever?”

    Well, it certainly would last a lot longer If I didn’t blow it all on some effing diamond.

    • Raider Duck says:

      De Beers: Because nothing says “True Love” like a hunk of overpriced rock mined out of the Earth at gunpoint by slave labor.

  50. TD99 says:

    Uhhh, how about this HORRIBLE slogan + jingle:

    “We are Farmers! Bumm-pa-da-pa-bum-bum-bum!”

    • Cacao says:

      Dang if I can’t help singing along with it. That and ‘Red Robin……….Yum’.

    • tbax929 says:

      My nieces and nephews always sing along to that one every time it comes on. So I’d say it works.

      • Martin says:

        “Houston is hot!” Gee, I never realized that. And is that supposed to be a feature instead of a bug?

        “We really move our tails for you.” I pity the flight attendants after that one.

        “Make Seven Up yours.” Ugh.

        One reason for these inane slogans is that ads are often evaluated by how easily they are remembered because that is easier than evaluating how well they sell the products. One ad man pointed out the absurdity of this by claiming “anytime I want to raise my recollection score, I just show a gorilla in a jockstrap.” That explains why ads in both visual content and slogans are so jarring and frequently bizarre. That’s why I can still recall that Ultra-Bright gives my mouth sex appeal even though I usually buy Pepso-Dent. I still can’t figure out where the yellow went.

  51. techstar25 says:

    Brighthouse – “Hello Friend”.

    Hey, if you were my friend you wouldn’t charge me $12/month to use that terrible refurbished DVR that uses 20 year old technology, and an operating system that makes WIndows 98 look stable, to record onto a hard drive that has less space than a Nintendo Wii, and read/write access speeds rivaling tape drives from the 1970’s.

  52. dwasifar says:

    The motto of police departments all over America: “To Serve and Protect.”

    Riiiiiight.

  53. dwasifar says:

    Oh, and “Where do you want to go today?” That was Microsoft, if you recall. Like Windows suddenly sprouted wheels and was going to drive me to the park.

  54. The Beer Baron says:

    I myself was somewhat disillusioned with a certain Patent Medicine slogan: “Mugwump Specific: Cure and Preventive for All Venereal Diseases.”

    Right spot of rubbish, that was.

  55. lehrdude says:

    My favorite Billboard slogan is:

    Your wife is hot!!!

    …Better get your A/C fixed.

  56. Mr_Magoo says:

    Another AT&T slogan: “America’s largest 4G network”

    • MFfan310 says:

      T-Mobile used that slogan first (it still does), and trademarked it.

      So AT&T has to use “The nation’s largest 4G network” instead. Funny thing is, AT&T’s HSPA+ coverage footprint is now far larger than T-Mobile’s.

  57. Fubish says: I don't know anything about it, but it seems to me... says:

    In England (1960s): “Nothing sucks like an Electrolux.”

  58. sixsevenco says:

    Make 7 Up Yours

  59. Fafaflunkie Plays His World's Smallest Violin For You says:

    When I’m stuck listening to the radio at work (usually the sports-talk channel) there’s this mortgage broker ad in every break with this awful jingle playing throughout. The end of the commercial always ends with some woman wailing “We’re working harder for you!” Which begs the question: what does that slogan have to do with a mortgage broker? Couldn’t that apply to any business? Geez Louise, every time I hear that ad, I want to grab that radio and throw it against a wall.

  60. matlock expressway says:

    KRAFT: “You know you waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaant it.”

    • Press1forDialTone says:

      Kraft Macaroni and Cheese, if you don’t want it, you will be assimilated.
      Resistance is futile.

  61. SunsetKid says:

    I always liked Kahn’s Hot Dogs – “The weiner the world awaited.”

    • I look at both sides of the story says:

      Gasoline (Texaco or was it Exxon?) slogan: “Now, more than ever, the gas with guts”

      What the hell does that mean?

      • Galium says:

        Esso “put a tiger in your tank”. I always pictured tony the tiger driving a tank.

        • exit322 says:

          I thought that was Exxon (not saying you’re wrong, but I just didn’t remember Esso doing it).

          Either way – reasonably effective, and helped sell Frosted Flakes, too!

    • Galium says:

      I believe that is what Strauss-Kahn thinks.

  62. jeepguy57 says:

    Stella Artois: Perfection has its price.

    Its a beer. Granted, its a good beer. But its still just a beer.

  63. There's room to move as a fry cook says:

    “We’ve got balls!” – Buck and Phil’s Sports Kingdom

  64. ReverendTed says:

    Been seeing this one on to-go bags from Wendy’s lately:
    “Better Later”

    Oh, so it’s not so good right now?

  65. ReverendTed says:

    Quicken Loans: “Everything we do is engineered to amaze.”

    Every time I hear this, I’m befuddled by the suggestion of engineering in terms of refinancing a loan.
    It seems like a slogan more suited to a company that actually MAKES something.
    Or heck, even BASF who doesn’t make the products we use, but makes the products we use better.

  66. kaleberg says:

    How about the salacious and racist “A buck well spent on a Springmaid sheet”? The illustration was a native American guy with a formal feathered headdress lying in a hammock with a native American woman in a short skirt standing beside him. (For those under a certain age, a “buck” was a term for a young male native American.) It was infamous back in ’49, and I doubt they could run it today. In fact, so many people are sure no one would ever run such an awful ad that Snopes wound up checking out the story and verifying that, indeed, bad taste in advertising has been around for a while now. (http://www.snopes.com/business/market/springmaid.asp)

  67. RayanneGraff says:

    Head On: Apply directly to the forehead!

    Head On: Apply directly to the forehead!

    Head On: Apply directly to the forehead!

    Head On: Apply directly to the forehead!

    Head On: Apply directly to the forehead!

    • StarKillerX says:

      Oh I hate those bastards!

    • MarkFL says:

      I did a parody of that. It was for a moel in a tube (look it up):

      Head Off: Apply directly to the foreskin.

      Head Off: Apply directly to the foreskin.

      Head Off: Apply directly to the foreskin.

  68. BigHeadEd says:

    Byyyyyyy Mennen

  69. balderdashed says:

    I think “Travel should take you places” is genius — I love it. It’s deceptively simple, apparently stating the obvious, yet that’s the point. In just five short words, it invites you to think about travel as more than a ticket to a destination, and goes to the heart of why people choose to go to places like Rome or Paris. The reference to taking you places is about more than geography; it’s about having an experience that might change you in some way, maybe for a week, or maybe forever. That’s what travel is, for me, and this slogan captures it brilliantly, with a subtlety and economy that’s practically poetry.

  70. YouDidWhatNow? says:

    AMERICA! F%CK YEAH!

  71. spiketoo says:

    Hijack in progress.

    How about the most honest tagline ever?

    Growing up in Motown there was this local shoe store…..

    ‘Sibleys. On the boulevard.

    Open…………….till we close.’

  72. giax says:

    Capital One’s “50 % more cash”.

    Let me translate what 50 % more cash means: I give you $ 100. You give me 50 % more cash = you give me back $ 150.

    A light year from whatever they think they are advertising with that 50 % more cash.

    • just_joe says:

      Ummmm… I could be wrong – but I believe they mean that the interest you earn is 50% higher than anywhere else. Thus, if you earn 5% on 100 – then 50% more cash would mean you’d receive $7.50 – not $5 like everyone else.

      (Qualifier: I used to work at Capital One in the IT department…)

    • just_joe says:

      Additionally, I’m still trying to figure out how you went from putting $100 in your account, to getting back $150 automatically – but then I could be mis-understanding what you wrote. The ad obviously links to how much interest they pay for your deposits (maybe their CDs – I’d have to check) – but still…

      Now, from what you wrote, if you left the $100 in the account and let it accrue 5% over 10 years with re-investment – then you’d get to that $150 (more actually) – but again, I’m befuddled by the logic.

      Blah – probably just me…

      • giax says:

        50 % more cash – as it didn’t specify 50 % more than what, let’s just keep it simple. $ 150 is 50 % more cash than my original $ 100.

  73. raitch says:

    “It’s avocado season, only at Subway.”

  74. Bort says:

    Hotel Billboard: Lincoln never stayed here, but you can

  75. Galium says:

    Aqua Velva “take it off, take it all off” with bumps and grind for background music. Definitely in top ten of best commercials ever. IMO.

  76. Martin says:

    Remember “It’s not your father’s Oldsmobile”? Came straight out of a focus group in which the market researchers noted how many participants thought of Oldsmobiles as “the kind of car your father would drive.” Like “We may be the only phone company in town but we try not to act like it” was a product of people repeating that Bell Telephone was the only phone company in town. Defensive slogans in lieu of more attractive products and services are the marketing equivalent of running up the white flag.

  77. Debbie says:

    The funny part of the Ruby Tuesday ad is that eating feels more like dining because they’ve added a salad bar- which, to me, makes it feel cheap.

  78. Debbie says:

    An old one: “Fly Midway to the Bahamas.” Maybe they’re going to drop you in the ocean halfway.

  79. InsertPithyNicknameHere says:

    The Illinois Lottery: Somebody’s Gotta Win

  80. Overheal says:

    Sherwin Williams: “Cover the Earth”

  81. Rick Sphinx says:

    “Bet your sweet ASS per Cream”

  82. RenegadePlatypus says:

    OK, definitely pants-down the most ridiculous misfire of a slogan goes to: Tim Hortons. I just listened to a radio commercial going into great detail describing a delicious oozingly sweet iced caramel latte with whipped cream and sticky caramel drizzled all over it, it sounded so good …. but then after describing this treat they delivered the Tim Hortons slogan: “Tim Hortons…. Where Quality Meets Value”.

    Where Quality Meets Value. Where F#&KING QUALITY MEETS VALUE??!! That’s the reason to buy your wife-beaters from WalMart, not an enticement into an indulgent treat.

  83. 3fingerbrown says:

    Checker’s/Rally’s: “You Gotta Eat!”

  84. MacGyver says:

    In Ontario, you buy beer at a government owned Beer Store or Beer Store agency. So the slogan “The Beer Store – where the beers are” is kind of silly, because they really don’t need to advertise, and their name says it all anyway.

  85. tequilasundae says:

    Friskies, Feed the Senses.

    The cat eats the food and is immediately sent on an acid trip

  86. kierzandax says:

    Not an inane ad slogan but a “man, I feel sorry for that guy”.

    On the subway here is an advertisement for a local lawyer. His name?

    Justin Bieber.

    I keep thinking of that scene in Office Space where Michael Bolton is complaining about the singer…

    • Jillia says:

      OMG do you live in Philly? I have seen that poster on the Septa buses before. I took a pic and sent it to a few friends with the caption, “WTF?! Justin Beiber is the last person on earth I want representing my case!”

  87. ovalseven says:

    “You can save 16% or moron car insurance”.

  88. SilentAgenger says:

    Little.
    Yellow.
    Different.
    Better.

    (for Nuprin…I still go back and forth on whether this is the most inane or brilliant ad slogan ever.)

  89. Jillia says:

    Local Philly car dealership:

    “Is Barbera The Best? Boy, I Guess!!”

    You guess?!?! Not so confident about that, huh?…

  90. TPA says:

    Any slogan, period. Focus your energies on your products and services and business will take care of itself. I file this crap in the same bucket of bullmanure that corporate/departmental mission statements are in.

  91. HenryES says:

    We were vacationing in Canada last summer and saw a commercial that I guess was trying to draw geographically challenged tourists to Ottawa with the tagline “Ottawa, it’s Canada’s Capitol”.

  92. MarkFL says:

    I know it’s not actually a slogan, but what about the Bayer aspirin ad with the guy on the airplane telling the flight attendant he has a headache. She offers him Bayer aspirin and he says, “No, I’m not having a heart attack, I just have a headache.”

    Seriously? An adult doesn’t know aspirin is a pain reliever? Forget the aspirin, give him some arsenic.

    • Bonster says:

      Those ads make me not want to buy the product. It’s one of the few commercials that actually makes me angry because it’s so stupid.

  93. BFSEsq says:

    The custom of putting a period after every word of a slogan is getting old. I know that I’ve seen it quite a few times, but of course now the examples are escaping me. Years ago there was Wranger: “Real. Comfortable. Jeans.” Okay, I get it. It’s all of those three things separately, plus one cohesive idea! But it’s been repeated a lot, and now it just feels lazy.