If this were a Seinfeld joke we’d be all like, “What is the deal with would-be burglars not executing the getaway plan lately?” We’re no Jerry Seinfelds but it is pretty darn ridiculous. In this latest case, a man suspected of trying to rob a Rent-A-Center in Massachusetts didn’t even make it inside his intended target, and instead had the misfortune to become lodged underneath a loading bay door.
The almost-thief was discovered on Tuesday morning around 8:45 a.m. by an employee, and told the worker that he’d been lying underneath the door since about midnight, say cops.
“He tried to pry open the garage door with a metal bed post. As a result of trying to squeeze into the business, apparently the door fell onto the suspect’s head, and he was unable to free himself,” said a detective in the police department.
Once cops arrived on the scene and freed the man, “he was brought out of that position and complained of a headache,” and was taken to the hospital with a large bruise on the back of his head.
And of course, warn cops — don’t try this move at home. Or at any other place with a loading bay door you shouldn’t be prying open in the first place.
“It could have been a fatal situation if more momentum had occurred so I don’t recommend that for anyone to try,” said the detective.
The man will be charged with breaking and entering and malicious damage to property.
Suspected Thief Spends Night Jammed Under Door At Brockton Rent-A-Center [CBS Boston]
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When the cops arrived, the man said he had something he wanted to get off his chest.
That and “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!”
You need a head to be able to say that and it looks like he lost his.
Damn you! YOU STOLE MY HORRIBLE PUN. Vagabond >:C
This is no way to keep a head in the world.
Now he can sue because their door trapped him?
Pain and suffering at the hands of Rent-A-Center!!
“Pain and suffering at the hands of Rent-A-Center!!” nothing new here, move along.
Hey maybe he forgot his receipt…any of you consider that possibility?
He probably just wanted to steal one of those super expensive Xbox 360s that are advertised as an “everyday value” for only $799 at Rent-a-Center. Best Buy sells ‘em for $299. Suckers!
♪ Take a load off, Annie
Take a load for free
Take a load off, Annie
And and and you put the load right on me ♫
♪ ♪ You load sixteen tons, what do you get
Another day older and deeper in debt
Saint Peter don’t you call me ’cause I can’t go
I owe my soul to the company store ♪ ♪
much better
Do we really need to say he was suspected of trying to rob the store? Yeah yeah I know innocent until proven guilty and all that but come on, the guy got stuck under the door he was trying to pry open so he could rob the place!
He was walking by getting some excercise when he noticed the door was left open. He tried to be a good person and close the door so that the place wouldn’ get robbed, but it all went tragically wrong.
Was anybody in the store? If not, I fail to see how it could be robbery. If no one is present you can’t use violence or intimidation to take their property. Seems like burglary to me.
If only he had a life alert bracelet.
I swear…who doesn’t have a cell phone these days? Would have some in handy.
They should have chopped off the part that got stuck. Not like he’s using it for anything good anyway. Saddest part is he’ll get a slap on the wrist and/or sue the place for damages and win.
If this country (and the world as a whole) had any damn sense, douche nuggets like these would be used as free labor to do some real work that needs doing. Oh, right… That would violate their civil rights.
Oh, no. We sure do use them for work.
http://www.dlc.org/ndol_ci.cfm?kaid=108&subid=900003&contentid=255055
http://www.post-gazette.com/stories/local/state/prison-factories-produce-a-range-of-items-including-hope-406446/
Private Prison is a big business.
No prisons. Work. Every day. Until the taxpayers get tired. Let ‘em sleep in tents.
This would have made a great “1001 Ways to Die” segment on Spike.
Way to die #699: Rent-dead
In my world, this story reads: “The man was discovered at approximately 8:30AM, and again at 10:15 and 11:20. The police were called at 11:43AM.”
And here I thought there couldnt be anything worse then actually renting to own from RAC.
Again–you rob a person, you burgle a residence/vehicle/place of business.
Unless someone was at the Rent-a-Center, and he went to the person, and said “Ooooooga Booooga! Gimme your wallet!!!111″, it ain’t robbery.
I can only hear the verb ‘burgle’ in a British accent.
Heh heh.
Burgle.
Isn’t the right word here bungle?
Whatever happened to knocking over a liquor store or a gas station? Sheesh.
Why do I keep picturing that cartoon with the rat in a trap with the caption “tough way to find out who your friends are” while the line forms to the rear. Pun intended.