(Scurzuzu)
A Korean woman had an unfortunate experience that we’re sure is probably one of the weirdest, most unpleasant things we’ve read about in the realm of things: After eating a cooked squid, she felt a “severe pain” and a “pricking, foreign-body sensation in her mouth.” A visit to the doctor revealed “twelve small, white spindle-shaped, bug-like organisms” in the inside of her mouth, which were identified as squid spermatophores.
Science 2.0 leads us to the next logical thought about this case, which was published published in February in the Journal of Parasitology — yes, a “spermatophore” is basically semen, “an aggregation of gametes.”
Let’s learn a little bit more, shall we?
Each spermatophore includes an ejaculatory apparatus, which can expel the sperm mass quite forcefully, and a cement body for attachment. Of course, neither of those is a needle or a knife–the sort of thing you’d expect to need for actual implantation (into either a female squid or a human mouth). I’ve written a bit about this mystery before. As it turns out, no one is quite sure how spermatophores implant themselves into skin.
Mysterious or not, this isn’t the first time this has happened, apparently, but the fact that the squid was cooked makes this case stand out. According to Science 2.0, there’s no need to be put off squid forever. In the West, most of the time we eat squid it’s had the internal organs removed and we eat only the muscle, so no spermatophores.
If you are handling the little guys, they won’t hurt you or implant in the thicker skin of your hands and fingers. Just don’t put them in your mouth.
That Squid On Your Plate Could Inseminate Your Mouth [Science 2.0]
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This is open for so many jokes…
This is just too easy….
So she swallows….
Dear Plies,
It turns out that Korean women swallow, too.
Regards,
Important Business Man.
This is what happens when you eat everything from an animal. Just clean it out entirely.
So if she got pregnant, would this make her Octo-mom ?
No wonder Squidward is single; his ejaculate is a cthulian nightmare.
This takes bestiality to a new level.
taking tentacle pron in a whole different direction.
Spider Surprise…now Squid Surprise? So many surprises lately!
I’m traumatized. *shudder*
Thank you, Mary Beth for posting that and ruining my whole gahdamn day. And possibly, week.
I will point out that korean squid are several times larger than the squid we usually get served in the US as calamari.
ours just shrink when they’re cold! Oh, you mean the actual cephlapod.
I’ve always heard that the kind of asian squid that like to do that in your mouth are actually a lot smaller and are very self conscious about it.
“Just don’t put them in your mouth.”
EXACTLY
…….Now off to take over the universe.
The squid was parboiled whole. Thus is the issue she ran into. Most western places remove the internal organs and cook the food more thoroughly. But in her case they just dumped a squid into some boiling water for just a bit to get it barely cooked.
I could barely handle squids in science class, I can’t imagine trying to eat one whole that’s been parboiled.
“I’ve probably had hundreds of spermatophores ejaculate on my fingers and never felt a sting.”
From the original article, here is a contender for Least Common Sentence ever uttered in English.
It is a good thing the woman couldn’t identify it herself, then there would be posts about how did she know it was spermatophore, she must be a tramp!
Right! Alert Rush Limbaugh!
Lean Finely Textured Spermatophore?
OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD
I am alternately laughing hysterically and screaming. X_X
I’ve seen enough hentai to…oh wait!
Had this been the seafood dinner that Gloria was taken to, Wes Mantooth would have been doubly upset.
…and that’s how I got pregnant while you were deployed overseas.
It sounds plausible, the kid was born with a beak and
an eight foot long penis with suckers attached to it.
Gross. Just gross. Why do people insist on eating creatures with all their insides intact? What do they do with a pig, for instance? Just toss it in a caldron whole for a few minutes?
Because it’s more natural and less “processed”. Processed food is BAD! Didn’t you watch Food Inc?!?!!?
No, processed food is good! I like cooked food, especially critters that should be dissected and cooked thoroughly to avoid just these types of situations. Honestly, this articles skeeves me out.
Wow. I want to make a joke, but my head hurts from having too many options.
I have eaten steamed whole king crabs, carapace and all (of course tossing out the inedible parts). I’ve tried “balut” (fertilized duck egg) and even that contains a dead chick in it.
What I don’t get is the appeal of eating LIVE creatures. I prefer food cooked, dead, and not squirming and trying to claw its way back up my throat.
Also, doesn’t squid have a pen? I’ve cleaned squid before and had to pull out the pen (plus the innards), and those are pretty hard. I’ve never (and wouldn’t dare) try live squid, but do they remove those when they serve it *that* way?
I saw those “dancing” squid dishes where they chop off the tentacle part of the squid and while technically “dead”, they dip it in some soy sauce it starts wiggling like it’s alive. While it’s entertaining to watch I would probably refuse to eat it.
This doesn’t help the Asian stereotype obsession with tentacles one bit… T_T
Maybe I’m mis-interpreting your comment, but the woman in the article was not eating live, or even raw squid. The first two words of the title of this post are “cooked squid.”
In any event, your comment just made me think of the scene in Oldboy where he eats a live octopus, then passes out with the squirming tentacles still hanging out of his mouth. *shudder*
As if I ever needed a reason to NOT eat Squid… then you kind folks come forth with it! Thanks! Now when I go eat Dim Sum and hear someone ordering Squid from the main menu, I am going to wish them the best.
Yet another reason for me to steer clear of seafood. Squid sploodge has just made the top of the list.