It’s Probably Best To Not Bring Your Mini Meth Lab Into Walmart With You

We understand that a lot of people have hobbies — I like to bake bread; I’ve also been known to craft elaborate leather outfits for my carrier pigeons — but while it may be acceptable to knit as you stroll the aisles of your local retailer, cooking up a batch of meth in your purse is really just going to end badly.

For example… Police in Missouri evacuated a Walmart store last night after store employees discovered that a woman suspected of shoplifting had an adorable little meth lab inside a 20 oz. soda bottle.

“It was a volatile situation because the meth lab was actively working,” a police lieutenant tells KMOV-TV, “but I don’t think anyone was in danger with the way the were able to move everyone out. It was still volatile, but everybody was kept at a safe distance.”

He added that police are coming across more and more of these “one-pot” cookers, and that they are generally intended for people making meth for their own use and not cooking up some sort of Breaking Bad-size mega batch.


Woman caught cooking meth inside a south St. Louis County Walmart [StLtoday.com]

Mobile meth lab causes evacuation at South County Walmart [KMOV.com]

Comments

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  1. HomerSimpson says:

    If they’d only checked the receipt this probably never would’ve happened!

  2. RandomLetters says:

    Lets see… I’ve got my shoplifting list, keys, purse, aluminum foil… What am I forgeting… Oh yeah my meth lab!!!

  3. Laura Northrup says:

    Walter White’s new lab assistant was immediately fired.

  4. Nyxalinth says:

    I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.

  5. deathbecomesme says:

    Too bad she didn’t forget what was in the bottle and take a sip

  6. Cat says:

    Will they condemn the store and demolish it because they found a meth lab in it?

    • Blueskylaw says:

      No, they will just roll-back the prices on affected items at a BLOWOUT sale.

    • nugatory says:

      no they’ll seize it and auction it off to pad their budget.

    • Gehasst says:

      I wish, but they just did finish remodeling and building the store out some. It’s a really crappy place to shop unless you go sometime after 11pm at night (24 hour location).

  7. Blueskylaw says:

    I could see these portable labs being a big hit on eBay.

  8. noscamsplease says:

    The most insane part is she decided to cook up her meth WHILE she was waiting for the POLICE to come and arrest her for shoplifting.

    • EdnasEdibles says:

      Is it wrong that it makes some sense to me? I guess she figured “Hell, I’m already going to jail, there’s no denying it, might as well have one last bit of fun before I go.”

      It’s like those people who would get trashed at the airport on Intervention. One last drink for the road, sort of thing.

      I should note that I have previously lived in South County so maybe this poor logic is resulting from something in the water.

  9. SkokieGuy says:

    Who else wants to see photos of Chris’ carrier pigeons in their leather outfits?

  10. AllanG54 says:

    Under Bloomberg this may not have happened as no one will be able to buy a beverage over 16 ounces.

  11. lovemypets00 - You'll need to forgive me, my social filter has cracked. says:

    Idiocracy is coming to life, more and more every day. It won’t be long until the rest of us are overwhelmed by people like this.

  12. Princess Beech loves a warm cup of treason every morning says:

    Starburns [from Community] died due to a meth lab setup at the trunk of his car. Be warned.

  13. Pagan wants a +1 button says:

    Wouldn’t the smell have warned anybody? Or did they just think she really needed to bathe?

  14. thenutman69321 says:

    Lol what an over reaction. While obviously not completely safe, making meth in a soda bottle is much safer than making meth in a real lab, no need to evacuate, just dump the stuff in the trash. Gotta love them calling a 20oz soda bottle a meth lab. I bet they catch a kid with an ounce of pot and put out a statement saying they busted a distribution center as well.

  15. gman863 says:

    I’d hire the kid who made the racist statements over the Wal-Mart PA system, so long as he agrees to change the message to, “Attention Walmart Shoppers: All people carrying portable meth labs must leave the store immediately!

  16. jerry101 says:

    This is why I make my meth at home. In the bathroom, next to the kid’s room.