Could Eating Yogurt Give You A Slimmer, Sexier Swagger?

It might be time to start stocking up on yogurt, if studies on mice are any indication of health benefits to humans. Scientists researching how probiotics fight obesity stumbled upon some unexpected results in mice — they got super sexy and had increased “swagger.” Swagger as defined by researchers, that is.

ABC News says scientists at the Massa­chusetts Institute of Technology knew they were onto something while studying how yogurt could possibly ward off age-related weight gain, and were surprised to get such sexy mouse results.

To test that theory, researchers fed one group of mice a normal diet and added a mouse-sized serving of vanilla yogurt to the diets of the other group. That’s when things got sexxxxy!

“One of the first things we noticed was their fur coat,” said one researcher. “It was so thick and shiny; shockingly shiny.”

Not only were the mice shiny and slimmer, but the males had “swagger.”

“We knew there was something different in the males, but we weren’t sure what it was at first,” said a researcher. “You know when someone’s at the top of their game, how they carry themselves differently? Well, imagine that in a mouse.”

It wasn’t just a general sense of swagger, either. There was some, uh, very visible evidence, noted by a lab technician.

“She noticed their testicles were protruding out really far,” said a researcher, adding that the yogurt-eaters had testicles that were 5% bigger than their counterparts, and 15% larger than those on a diet aimed at mimicking a human’s junk food diet.

Beyond the apparent yogurt-inspired confidence, researchers say male fertility was enhanced, and there were legitimate physiological differences in the yogurt eaters and the other groups.

Females also had a share in the swaggerfest, with shinier coats than the males and better mothering habits to larger litters.

“We think it’s the probiotics in the yogurt,” another researcher said. “We think those organisms are somehow directly interacting with the mice to produce these effects.”

Yogurt Makes Mice Slimmer, Sexier [ABC News]

Comments

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  1. Cat says:

    This report brought to you by the National Yogurt Association.

  2. dwtomek says:

    Off to buy yogurt I go.

  3. MrObvious says:

    Yogurt is great for you, just avoid brands like yoplait that put HFCS in their yogurt, that should be avoided at all costs.

  4. Worstdaysinceyesterday says:

    No one told me on ‘career day’ that I could have a job measuring mouse testicles. Missed opportunity right there…

  5. dush says:

    Those scientists clearly need to get out of the lab more if they think mice are sexy.

  6. lovemypets00 - You'll need to forgive me, my social filter has cracked. says:

    So that’s why the store brand yogurt went from 50 cents to 60 cents a container this week!

    • failurate says:

      The extra 10cents was to cover the included pamphlet: How to Properly Measure Ovoids

  7. Mr. Fix-It says: "Canadian Bacon is best bacon!" says:

    Ah, but did they have Moves like Jagger?

  8. Loias supports harsher punishments against corporations says:

    Thank goodness, now I can get a shiny coat of hair like a mouse!

  9. CrazyEyed says:

    5-15% Ball Sack Enhancement. Sign me up!

  10. UberGeek says:

    I don’t know about sexier or swagger, but it would make me slimmer. Doctors might call it “yogurt-induced bulimia”. The spoiled-milk smell of live-culture yogurt can chase me from a room.

  11. gman863 says:

    And, in a related story, Jamie Lee Curtis has been fired by Activia. She will be replaced with a yet-to-be-named male porm star…

  12. dulcinea47 says:

    The mice were eating 50% of their diet as yogurt. That’s an awful lot of yogurt if you translate that to human scale.

    • CubeRat says:

      Now that very well could have a slimming effect, but I don’t think it would be a healthy diet for a human. Either you would need to eat a lot of food to get your other nutrients, or you’d be missing some very important ones.

      Next diet fad; yogert and rodent food pellets.

  13. redskull says:

    “You know when someone’s at the top of their game, how they carry themselves differently? Well, imagine that in a mouse.”

    I absolutely guarantee that that is a brand new sentence, never before spoken or written in the history of the English language. Hell, in the history of ANY language.

  14. dolemite says:

    “Sexy mice”…I’m thinking of the scene in Ghost Busters 2 where Peter asks Ray and Egon if they’ve been sleeping with the toaster and they don’t deny it.

  15. samonela says:

    YOGURT!!

    I HATE YOGURT!!

  16. iesika says:

    So, is it the priobiotics in the yogurt, or the calcium, or any one of many chemicals the yogurt contains? Maybe milk sugars are the key to bigger testicles?

    Methinks this study needs a bit of refinement.

  17. Cacao says:

    Anyone remember the Dannon yogurt ads of the 70s showing 100 year old Georgians? Longevity due to yogurt.
    http://youtu.be/R9RJBgNB1ZI

    (disclaimer: I have plain yogurt every day for breakfast)

    • Saltpork says:

      I have almost plain yogurt every day…a little honey goes in.
      Great stuff.

      For people who are adjusted to it, yogurt is awesome. For some, it’s not.

      Finally, an article about yogurt and lab rat testicles!

  18. failurate says:

    I have been growing this mustache for about two weeks now. It looks pretty cool. I think i will do my own yogurt experiment. See if my ‘stache can go from pretty cool to thick, shiny and sexy.

    • Theoncomingstorm says:

      You will have to wash the yogurt off your moustache first, otherwise, well you get the picture.

  19. dolemite says:

    This study brought to you by “The Stuff”.

  20. CubeRat says:

    Well, either I’m an outlier or this doesn’t work for human women. I eat yogert for health reasons as I HSTE the taste, unfortunetly, I have not observed any slimming side-effects and no super glossy hair. Don’t know about the large litter thing, as I don’t have children and only have 3 young nieced/nephews to spoil.

    (And yes, I make sure I only eat organic, non-fat, with the live cultures – if you don’t like any yogert; you might as well buy the ‘healthiest’.)

  21. mojomarc says:

    Somehow I suspect these “miraculous” benefits will later be found to either have nothing to do with probiotics or that there are significant differences in mouse gut flora from human gut flora that the results willb e irrelevent. On the first point, if we assume the results are a real phenomenon, it would be difficult to attribute the benefits to probiotics unless you compared active and pasturized yoghurt. It doesn’t appear that the researchers did this before jumping to the conclusion that probiotics were the key driver of the results. On the second point, assuming they were using standard strains of active yoghurt on the market, the probiotic strains generally represent a small part of the normal ecosystem of gut flora for humans. Thus probiotic benefits are minor or scientifically in dispute for humans. If mouse gut health is both simpler and more dependent upon lactobacillus strains than the human gut flora is, it would be easy to see a result that would be probiotic-related, but still not applicable to humans.

    It will be interesting to see which it turns out to be here, because I’m very skeptical that this leap to conclusions has any basis in fact.

  22. Applekid ┬──┬ ノ( ゜-゜ノ) says:

    It works on females too? I guess that explains Gadget from Rescue Rangers.

    (not furry)

  23. MaytagRepairman says:

    I gave up on eating yogurt. I couldn’t find the perfect brand. Some had so many carbs from sugar that I didn’t even want to try it. Others used artificial sweetners instead that were ok at first but I eventually grew to dislike the taste of.

  24. dangermike says:

    I’m all for females with shinier coats but I can’t help but hesitate at the prospect of larger litters. Oh well… I guess everything’s a trade-off.

  25. axolotl says:

    AC/DC was not available for content

  26. Alliance to Restore the Republic of the United States of America says:

    “I don’t wanna say this….but…..I really wanna f*ck that mouse.”

  27. Awesome McAwesomeness says:

    I wonder if the mice also had sky high cholesterol and plaques in their arteries from eating a product full of saturated fat for 50% of their diet.

  28. brinks says:

    I drink a Danactive daily and take probiotics. Alas, I do not have a shiny coat. Or any swagger at all.

  29. Snip says:

    Yogurt: it ain’t just chick food anymore! Let the man food product placement begin!

  30. buddyedgewood says:

    I can attest to the fact that yogurt has made me thinner, my balls are bigger and that female mice find me more attractive now.

  31. shthar says:

    So yogurt turns you into an asshole.

    Great marketing campaign.