Roller Skating Is Definitely Better Than Using Crack

More than three years ago, comedy duo and self-proclaimed “internetainers” Rhett & Link set out to find great local businesses all over the country, and make great local commercials for them. “That’s nice, Consumerist,” you say. “But they can’t possibly still be doing this three years later and producing new ads.” That’s where you would be wrong, imaginary hypothetical reader!

Last year, Rhett & Link even briefly had their own TV show on IFC about the local commercials project. Here’s their latest spot, a minute and a half spot promoting a roller rink in Reno.


We do question the dual casting of the rink’s owner as the kidnapper.

I Love Local Commercials [Official Site]

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  1. Blueskylaw says:

    I remember getting my first pair of roller-skates in the early 80′s and going to the local roller rink with friends while enjoying the disco music, the disco ball, the early arcade games, the
    hot-dog/hamburger stand inside, etc.

    Ahhh, good times.

    • Daniel Svoboda says:

      Same here. Definitely good times. :-)

    • BobOki says:

      *cough* someone’s age is showing ;P

      • Blueskylaw says:

        You could probably date me +/- 5 years. I’m not going to give you my exact age in case Facebook has crawler bots collecting information, not that I have a Facebook account which also helps to date me.

    • Murph1908 says:

      Ah, yes. Same here.

      Then you’d get all queasy when the “slow skate” song began, and you looked for someone to hold hands with while you skate.

      Or that queasiness could be from the aforementioned hot dog/hamburger stand.

    • Laura Northrup says:

      I learned the Electric Slide on the dance floor at my local roller rink. They’d have DJs from the local Top 40 station come and DJ every week.

      I would play lots of pinball, and the change machine was one of the toughest I’ve come across before or since. I got really good at flattening out dollar bills.

      • Nigerian prince looking for business partner says:

        Wow, the Electric Slide! I haven’t thought about that in ages.

        That was one of the “cool” songs our gym teacher made us dance to in gym class, ca. 1979.

        • Laura Northrup says:

          One of my last and favorite memories of one of my uncles was him, well into his 70s, deciding that he wanted to join in the electric slide at a wedding. And join he did, almost figuring out the steps by the end of the song.

    • Nigerian prince looking for business partner says:

      I think I spent the majority of my early teen years (late 70′s & early 80′s) at the roller rink, arcade, and movie theater. The added benefit was that all those places had AC back when it was a fairly rare luxury.

      • Laura Northrup says:

        The town where I grew up opened a year-round ice rink. The next town over had a municipal pool, so it seemed perfectly reasonable to them. I took skating lessons there, and would go to open skate. Like a roller rink, down to the arcade games and snack bar.

        The town never really made money at it, though, and sold it to a private company. *They* did so well with it that they added a second rink to the complex.

        It is way too early for me to be hungry for nachos.

      • Blueskylaw says:

        I would have to pass by the local arcade on my walk back from school and I always stopped in to drop a few bucks with friends. The movie theaters were cool too because you could actually sneak in without paying (no alarms or cameras). Now if only I could go back and buy a few shares of certain stock then the 80′s would have really paid off for me.

        • Nigerian prince looking for business partner says:

          At the movies, we would always pay but would then sneak into a different movie when ours ended. At the time, I vaguely remember a matinee costing $1.50 or $2.00.

          I think the arcade was a quintessential element for childhood between 1975 – 1985. That’s where the vast majority of my time & money was sunk.

    • LadySiren is murdering her kids with HFCS and processed cheese says:

      Angel Flight pants! A giant comb stuck in your back pocket! Guys rexing to impress all the hot chicks!

      Yeah, roller rinks were awesome. ;)

      • Blueskylaw says:

        I remember that Advil came out when I was in High School and having a bottle of Advil that you could share with your friends made you the COOLEST person on the planet; we would pop them like candy. Having those little suitcase locks on your belt loop was also a cool fad back then.

  2. SamiJ says:

    This is old– it was featured on their IFC show eight months ago.

    • Agent Hooter Enjoys Enhanced Patdowns says:

      How dare they present YOU with material that YOU’VE already seen before!? HOW DARE THEY, INDEED!?

    • Laura Northrup says:

      They only uploaded it to their YouTube channel recently, though.

    • suburbancowboy says:

      I was watching TV the other day and an episode of the Honeymooners came on. Flipped the channel. Too old.

  3. absherlock says:

    My 7 year-old would totally want to go roller skating after seeing that.

  4. YouDidWhatNow? says:

    Roller skating is a gateway drug! Oh, it seems so harmless…but before you know it, your kid has switched to skateboards and snowboards, and now he’s a hooligan! HOOLIGAN!

  5. catastrophegirl chooses not to fly says:

    i was saddened to recently find out that my childhood roller rink, site of many a skating birthday party, has become a church. but it’s a “cool, young” church – they were the first church to get their own roku channel
    but what will the kids in my hometown do? clearly they will be turning to crack now that the roller rink is gone

  6. Cat says:

    Roller Skating Is Definitely Better Than Using Crack

    No, it isn’t.
    Well, except that bowling is cheaper and far less addictive.

    • AllanG54 says:

      Bowling is $4.50 a game where I live and that doesn’t include shoe rental which is another $3.50 or so. If I bowl four games (which isn’t hard to do) I’m looking at nearly $25. Is roller skating that expensive? I’ve never skated. And I quit bowling when it went to $1 a game back around 1974. Although there are coupons where you can rent a lane for two hours for $10 but I think there’s a two person minimum so they get $20 out of it. Years ago I would go to the alley and roll 10 games myself for $7.50.

  7. dolemite says:

    I’m not sure having the pedo in the van going rollerskating with the kids is a good idea.

    A very “Tim and Eric”ish commercial though.

    • some.nerd says:

      I almost thought that drug dealer was the guy from T&E that does all those god-awful ventriloquist bits and songs…

  8. Applekid ┬──┬ ノ( ゜-゜ノ) says:

    I am in favor of anything that leads to Roller Derby.