It makes sense for a store to place small impulse-buy items on the shelf next to related merchandise. Say, cereal and bananas. Beer and Ping-Pong balls. Cold medicine and tissues. Tampons and chocolate. Those choices all make sense, but this impulse buy found at a New England CVS left us, and tipster Jena, scratching our heads.
Yes, those are tubes of Superglue.
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Oh…it’s Tuesday already?
One says ‘Honey lets have sex’. One says ‘Honey, lets never have sex again’.
One says “Let’s have sex” and the other says “Shhhh…don’t talk.”
Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.
Crazy glue dries clear
Are you sure it’s not let’s never stop having sex?
This reminds me of a limerick I read in “Isaac Asimov’s Treasury of Humor” as a child:
A young couple named William and Nelly
spent their honeymoon belly to belly
because in their haste
they used library paste
instead of petroleum jelly
Did you hear about the the newlyweds that got window putty confused with Vaseline?
.
.
.
.
.
.
It was terrible!
.
.
.
All their windows fell out.
Dear Consumerist,
If your content were any lighter these days, it’d float right off my screen.
Signed,
Previous Consumerist Fan
And yet, you’re still here.
Well I keep hoping it’ll turn around and go back to the sight I fell in like with. Nothing wrong with a little constructive criticism is there?
*Edit: site, not sight. Need. More. Coffee….
Whose leg do you have to hump to get an edit button around here?
Maybe someone can make an edit button for you. Then you could pin it on your blouse / shirt.
Its kind of like if you had an open house, I went, enjoyed it, but you had another open house and I came back and wasn’t as impressed, and this continued to happen until I start coming to insult your home instead of avoiding it because it is no longer the pleasant experience I remembered.
I needed a good laugh tonight. Thanks guys, I for one, appreciate the funny pieces as well. I even shared with friends!
If the condom breaks, just glue it back together and keep going.
It’s for when the toys break….
Probably put there by some prude who doesn’t, or doesn’t want to, know enough about sex to make a distinction between glue and lube.
Like Jason Biggs in American Pie?
Superglue: Making sure that condom stays put!
See, it worked by distracting you from the illegal fireworks on sale in the back room.
The Tipster app is not compatible with any of my Android devices and the Google Play Store doesn’t show any reviews.
When will it be usable?
When we get the edit button, that’s when.
Can’t think of a better item to buy if you want your honey to stick around . . .
I dunno, tampons + chocolate makes perfect sense to me.
Srsly.
I know! That was an example of one that does make sense. The ping-pong balls, too.
Lionel Richie—
…Stuck on you…
…Cause while we were making love, I spilled the crazy glue…
Guess I’m on my way
(To the Emergency Room)
Loctite – Sealing leaking objects since 1963.
When I worked at Walmart we had wars involving those strips. Every department was required to have a certain amount of strips hanging throughout the store. We even had a contest every month, to put an item in a spot that is perfect for it (like putting beer pong balls in the beer aisle).
But it was always aggravating to come to work and find that someone else had put a strip in your own department, blocking your own merchandise. So we’d take other department’s hang strips, and relocate them to a nearby department.
Like I said: it was war.
OT – any particular reason the Android Tipster app needs to control my flashlight?
Anyone see “Another Gay Sequel?”
WHAT DO WE DOOOOOOOOOOOO???????
As a former midwifery apprentice I know women who have used super glue to repair their vaginal tearing after birth. It works like stitches only it dissolves after the skin has healed back together.
So one *could* leap to the conclusion of a CVS employee anticipating vaginal tearing ……which makes me shudder.
But its not in front of the magnums…
I’m not even a girl and the term “vaginal tearing” makes me shudder and die a little inside.
Best strip hangers I’ve ever seen were condoms on the shelf with beer and condoms on the shelf with diapers.
the semi perm condom….?
One of the best Simpsons scenes/quotes ever.
My local Walgreens had a Valentine’s Day display that paired heart-shaped boxes of candy and KY Jelly.
Nothing says “I love you” like a big tube of lube!
Slightly off-topic: On the way to the movies, I once went to the cashier at a snack shop with a bottle of water and a pack of naphthalene balls. My friends looked at me funny.
What? I needed some moth balls so I decided to get them together with the bottle of water I’m taking to the movies.