Groupon One-Ups Young Earth Creationism, Claims Earth Is 400 Years Old

“Groupon is bad at math!” the subject line of Amber’s e-mail to Consumerist proclaimed. I expected to see a poorly-calculated coupon discount or something else related to actual deals. But the error is even weirder than that. Groupon’s Earth Day deals page trumpets that the company is celebrating the planet’s 400th birthday. They offer no explanation for where this number came from, or why it’s missing approximately seven zeroes.

bearthday.jpg

Comments

Edit Your Comment

  1. fs2k2isfun says:

    Do those bags look very unsanitary to anyone else?

    • RandomLetters says:

      Doesn’t really matter since these days so many fruits and vegetables are coming preloaded with all kinds of fun contaminations like e coli and salmonella.

    • thomwithanh says:

      I’m sure they’re dishwasher safe…. kind of negates some of the “eco-friendliness” of them, but still

      • kc2idf says:

        It is my understanding that dishwashers use less water than hand washing. I will stand corrected if anyone knows different.

        That said, my preference is to use a plastic sandwich box, because you can clean them and dry them thoroughly. I don’t think I would use these, for fear of growing mold after being unable to dry them properly.

  2. Cat says:

    This is crazy. We know from the bible it’s 6,000 to 10,000 years old. And the bible must be right, because God wrote the bible.

  3. Foot_Note says:

    if jesus could ride on dinos…

  4. Gman says:

    Bunk. We all know the Earth really is only three decades old. Nothing existed before I was born.

    On and I am not conceited, i’m perfect.

    • Mr. Fix-It says: "Canadian Bacon is best bacon!" says:

      My psychiatrist says I suffer from narcissism.

      Pffft, yeah right. ‘Suffer’…

    • Bativac says:

      That’s total bull because I was here at least three years before that and I can state with some confidence that the Earth was present, I postulate its age to be in the 35 to 45 range, but science cannot know for certain

      • Caffinehog says:

        This is total bull because I was here at least three years before the earth was, estimating it’s total age to be about 28-29 years old.

  5. Blueskylaw says:

    Was Groupon taken over by some extreme religious group in a private placement deal?

  6. libgeek says:

    Every Groupon email I’ve ever gotten has had some silly, funky, facetious statements. It’s a part of their style.

  7. Vox Republica says:

    I don’t think it looks a day over 317.

  8. Rocket says:

    So, the Earth was born in 1612?

  9. Mr. Fix-It says: "Canadian Bacon is best bacon!" says:

    Those Groupon faces look creepy and stupid… like a Steve Oedekerk film.

  10. Rocket says:

    Turns out this is supposed to be a joke, like it’s supposed to be funny.

    https://twitter.com/#!/GrouponNJersey/status/192703359860477952

  11. Maltboy wanders aimlessly through the Uncanny Valley says:

    Good thing this is Groupon’s first attempt at injecting a little earth humor into their product descriptions (NOT!), otherwise the intolerance of a few anti-religion, humor impaired bloggers might rear its ugly head on a regular basis. :-/

    • dwtomek says:

      If your joke requires an in-depth explanation for the majority of your audience, it is a poorly written joke. This was a poorly crafted joke.

      • Rocket says:

        Wait, this was a joke?

        • dwtomek says:

          Well I followed the link you provided earlier and they attempted to explain the humor that was apparently present. Apollo 16 took place in 1972. The earth somehow answered 360 after someone sang How Old Are You? 360+40 and we get groupon’s determination that the Earth is 400 years old…hilarious I know.

          Or perhaps you were thinking I was implying that my comment was a poorly crafted joke? I wasn’t, but it was probably just as funny as Groupon’s intentional “joke”. That is to say, neither contained any humor whatsoever.

          • Rocket says:

            I mean that Groupon’s “400 years old” was a joke. I get that Apollo 16 was 40 years ago, but where did 360 come from? 360 degrees in a circle? What does that have to do with age?

            I’m so confused.

            • dwtomek says:

              We are both confused on this. I understand that it was intended to be funny…but that’s about as far as my understanding of the humor goes. The explanation was barely coherent. I’m not sure if the earth replied 360 by rotating fully on its’ axis, or by simply being roughly spherical in shape. Either way, this “joke” was not funny.

      • Maltboy wanders aimlessly through the Uncanny Valley says:

        The only way you could take this seriously is if you have a tectonic plate in your head that keeps shifting.

  12. prag2 says:

    I’m sure that creationists will use this as proof that evolution is bogus.

  13. Loias supports harsher punishments against corporations says:

    Is it possible they are being sarcastic? Every single Groupon deal has a description with jokes in it.

  14. PlumeNoir - Thank you? No problem! says:

    “Yeah, but we love the moon….’cuz it is close to us…”
    (Sorry for putting that back in your head. I could have gone with “I am Earth’s birthday party guest.”)

    I think this is kinda funny. Earth Day/ birthday…and by saying 400 years old, it won’t piss off various religious groups or even scientists; it side-steps all the flaming between the two sides. It’s a creative compromise.

  15. sakanagai says:

    So what? They’re only off by a factor of about 1.1 million. Not much worse than your average Gallup poll.

  16. giovannigf says:

    They’re using the same kind of math they did on their IPO.

  17. Schildkrote says:

    The Consumerist, standing up and fighting for your rights on a daily basis.

    STOP JOKING, GROUPON! Nobody appreciates your lame attempts at comedy, and the Consumerist is here to stuff you into a metaphorical locker for even trying.

  18. coffee100 says:

    Probably just baiting people into another round of hate-speech against Christians.

    This must have been an engineer’s idea. He announced the idea, then walked out the door in slow motion. Then Neil De Grasse Tyson gave him a PhD just before he spontaneously grew a neckbeard and opened his car door and drove to his science club meeting.

    • Bob Lu says:

      I wish you did understand that young earth creationism does not represent the whole Christian? They may not even be mainstream worldwide.

  19. some.nerd says:

    I actually tried to google that figure after receiving that email and thinking, “what the deuce?? The earth was proven round 420 years ago…”
    Heh heh… 420.

  20. Bob Lu says:

    The earth (and everything on it) is three minutes old. Things older than three minutes you are seeing now, also your memories about things happened more than three minutes ago, are placed there when the earth was created, three minutes ago..

  21. axolotl says:

    Thank you Edward Norton. And Earth.
    Thank you Earthward Norton.

  22. bhr says:

    What the hell does Edward Norton have to do with this? Is he sponsoring Groupon now to take the attention away from the fact that he was fired from the Avengers movie?

  23. impatientgirl says:

    wow.