(cavale)
Some parents think its adorable for their tykes to scream their ABCs in public or use waiting room chairs as jungle gyms. Most others, though, are simply annoyed by the presence of unruly rugrats and would rather not be subjected to their antics while they try to take care of business.
Rants From Mommyland advises parents to keep their little kids away from these places:
* Doctor’s offices. Waiting rooms are hectic enough without screaming children who don’t need to be there. Kids tend to run around the wide open spaces, only adding to the stress level.
* Barber shops and salons. Your kids won’t wait quietly for you as you get a haircut. They’ll be understandably bored and possibly freaked out, looking to draw your attention the best way they know how, by acting out.
* The library. It’s important to read to kids, but make sure to do it in the privacy of your own home. People expect relative quiet inside, including the children’s area, so keep them away unless it’s to attend a storytime event.
5 Places NOT to Take a Toddler [Rants From Mommyland]
More From Consumerist
-
Parents Of Twin Tots Appease Fellow Travelers By Handing Out Bags Of Candy, Ear Plugs
-
Accidentally Sexist Toy Mixup Means My Niece Gets Pink Car Instead Of Awesome Shark Plane
-
Fortune Cookie Maker Nixes Romantic Messages After Parents Complain
-
Should Diners Be Rewarded For Well-Behaved Kids, Or Should That Just Be The Norm?
-
MetroPCS Board Checks “Yes” On Note Asking If It Likes T-Mobile Enough To Merge
tattoo parlors, opium dens and pediatricians’ offices.
Crack houses, strip clubs, and Catholic churches.
No matter how much boys like Popsicles, they should avoid Herbert the Pervert’s basement.
Oh my, I’m being robbed and there are no police around to help me, I hope you don’t find the money strapped to my thigh.
one of those would be very unsafe for your child, the other two would just teach life leasons.
Good point. Crack houses and strips clubs can indeed teach valuable life lessons.
Electric chair executions, cock fights and GOP rallies
But Opium Dens are where Dodgeball was invented…
I’ll also add bars to that list, one of the worst things about taking smoking out of bars is that too many parents now think it’s fine to bring their kids in with them when they want to have a few drinks. Honestly it just weirds me out when parents do this… and I’m not talking about a pub/restaurant where a parent could argue about just coming in for dinner and a beer I’m talking about a dive bar…. the things you see in Alaskan bars.
If said bar requires all patrons to be 21 or older, then you can’t bring your baby with you. A bar owner that allows babies could lose one’s liquor license.
You forgot sperm banks, children probably shouldn’t be there either, unless you’re showing them where daddy came from…
abattoirs, porn shops, day care centers.
I’ll actually take my kid to a tattoo/piercing shop when she’s old enough to want her ears pierced and know how to properly care for them (which doesn’t involve twisting the jewelry).
Unlike places in the mall, licensed studios won’t pierce a child’s ears before they’re old enough to know what’s going on, so they won’t mutilate infants (or anyone else) by using an unsterile gun to blast a dull rod through the ear and then give horrible aftercare instructions.
People who are actually serious about the art of body modification would be over the moon to see a child come in to get their ears pierced properly.
This. I always see babies & toddlers getting their ears punched like cattle at Claire’s & Walmart, and I cringe every time. One mother had her infant’s ears TRIPLE-PIERCED at Claire’s once. I was pretending to browse just so I could watch. That poor baby was screaming so hard she was literally turning purple.
Piercing guns need to be banned. They’re just a smaller version of the ear-tag guns they use on cattle. Traumatic & unsanitary, it’s honestly better to just do it yourself at home with a sewing needle. I got my ears all pierced up with a gun when I was younger & I always had problems with them. I always had infections & I have permanent marks on my ears thanks to non-hypoallergenic earrings.
I’m sorry you had a bad experience. Not everyone is traumatised by having their ears pierced with a gun at a Claire’s type place; believe it or not, some people have no problems at all. Amazing, huh?
…the I.R.S. office, Duane Reade, & a nite at the opera.
That article is insulting.
Fully agreed.
Very much so.
How so?
It makes the assumption that children are second-class citizens and that these areas are meant for adults, not children. Instead, we should be accepting and encouraging children.
The uptick in DINK outrage (ranging from dismissing birthing/breastfeeding as a natural part of society to, well, this) that refuses to acknowledge the role that kids play in our society. It is myopic and destructive. Do we really want: “It takes a village to vilify a child.”
I’m pretty sure that children actually ARE generally accepted to be second-class citizens.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Second-class_citizen
While I understand your concern regarding “DINK” outrage. There are also issues with “Mommy” outrage. There are places kids shouldn’t be brought and that is that.
I agree that some of the places mentioned in this article are outrageous, but the heart of it to me is this. If you know your kids are prone to meltdowns, don’t put them in an uncontrolled public scenario where that will happen. Failing that, learn how to manage the meltdown and correct the childs behavior in a way that has the least effect on those around you.
Yes, I’m a “DINK”, but I don’t hate kids. I just don’t agree that children should be allowed to meltdown without any parental correction or containment. It isn’t impossible. I watch my nieces and nephews often. A few times each year we watch them for a week or more when their parents want some alone time. From the first time that we have watched them, my wife and I have made it clear to them that we will not tolerate outbursts like that in public. We’ve only had one or two such outbursts and they were dealt with promptly by removing the child from the situation and explaining to them that their behavior is unacceptable. They are very well behaved for us, and our nephew has a severe case of ADHD (doctors diagnoses, not mine)
If we can accomplish this with little or no experience parenting I don’t understand why full-time parents cannot do the same.
That is exactly what my mother did, and exactly what I hope to do if I have kids. If we acted up, we got a warning, and if we didn’t stop, it was home time. Next time, we didn’t go.
She finally had to give up completely on taking us to the grocery store because we whined so much for snacks. That meant that for the rest of our childhood, we ate the same damn snack forever–Nutter Butter cookies and green grapes. To this day I can’t look a Nutter Butter in the face.
Thanks for the response. I have a lot of DINK friends who don’t get it.
They think kids are these static creatures with no emotional changes. Our kids are role models for great behavior, but they still have their emotional moments (just like adults do…they just lack the ability to inhibit the emotion-to-behavior link as much).
We also let them do things that they need to do as humans. On a 5-hr flight? We let them walk the aisles so they don’t unleash that energy in negative ways.
Should kids be allowed nearly everywhere? Yes. We should accept a bell-curve of behavior from them and it should not be the same one that we expect from adults.
Even the best parents will have their children exhibit behavior that is considered awful bad adult behavior. They are not static or completely predictable.
Patience is the primary parental learning. Instead of accepting adult behavior as the sole norm (the village accepting the vilification of kid behavior), I think it is better for the village to accept that patience is a universal human need.
There is, unfortunately, no way to completely avoid bad child behavior, no matter how great of a parent one is.
We are lucky. Our very reasonable friends with the oppositional-defiant kid are not.
The point is that their “meltdown situation” might only take an average of 2 public trips. Ours might take 100. Judge like the parents are the 1 in 100 meltdown type, not like they are the 1 in 2. Better yet, don’t judge. Look at it as an opportunity to gain patience. This might not be optional, even if one does not have kids of one’s own.
Do we really want: “It takes a village to vilify a child.”
I have no desire to vilify any child, regardless of behavior. They’re just doing what they do. I blame the parents for not being…well, parents. After all, they chose to have children and if they can’t handle the realities, maybe they should have chose differently.
Children are second class citizens in that they aren’t responsible for their own actions and as such shouldn’t be in certain places.
Ditto.
If you read the article, you’ll find that the Consumerist summary is insulting. It perverts the actual message of the article. Obviously, the article is not saying to avoid taking your kid to the pediatrician (not doctor, as Phil says) for, umm, the benefit of other parents?
The actual message is more like “damn, it’s hard to be a parent.”
I agree. I was insulted by the summary, but when I read the original post, it was completely different. She is not telling people not to take their kids places, rather, she is venting about her own kids.
It’s just link bait. Post up something that’s really outrageous, get people all worked up and sending the link to each other, get Consumerist to cover it, watch the hits and ad revenue flow in.
It’s the Ryanair of Consumerist!
1) Unless it’s your kid that’s going to the doctor…
2) Unless it’s your kid getting his/her hair cut…
3) Unless you’re taking your kid to the children’s room…
Thanks, Phil!
actually..i think according to the articles, you don’t even take them there even if they need to go there….
… kind of my point?
1. Faith healer is not included in here
2. let grow it out
3. they don’t need to read, they’re easier to keep in line if they can’t read.
I don’t have any kids (yet
but even I know that when kids want to cry then they will cry; stopping continental drift would seem to be an easier task than trying to turn your kid into a recluse in order to keep their antics away from the general populace.
And I hope you never have kids, cause it sounds like you’ll be the kind of parent who sees nothing wrong with letting your screaming 2 year old “cry it out” in the middle of a nice restaurant.
So you’re saying there never is a time when a baby is allowed to cry in public? I’m beginning to hope that you also never become a parent.
See how these conversations work now?
Baby =/= kid. A baby has no self-control, and should be brought to few places because of it.
Kids should be able to avoid meltdowns. If they can, bring ‘em out. If they can’t, keep them home and examine your parenting technique until you figure out how to teach them self-control.
Painfully obvious that few, if any, Consumerist writers and editors have any children themselves.
I was under the impression Phil had at least one kid.
I thought the article was kind of funny myself.
WRONG!!!! http://becauseitoldyouso.blogspot.com/2010/03/day-in-life.html
Or else they’d understand that it’s perfectly appropriate to take their kids everywhere they go, and if anyone else doesn’t like it they can just stay home themselves because kids are a part of life and kids have rights and KIDS ARE GONNA CRY sometimes, right?
Wow, you are really going off the deep end here… How dare you insinuate that this site employs editors!
wow… i stop readying the blog after 1/2 way.
You stopped readying it? Wow, no wonder everything Phil puts out seems half-baked: you’ve only gotten it half-ready!
See folks, it’s all this guy’s fault!
So, I will not take them to the doctor anymore or foster a love of public libraries?
What age is appropriate? 10? 12?
Sure….
Relax, the article says toddler. I think that’s over at 5 years old.
But even so…I don’t have kids, but I have friends who do and they take their 3 year olds to the library so they can pick books so they can be involved in choosing what their parent reads to them. I don’t see anything wrong with having toddlers in a library as long as they’re not shrieking at the top of their lungs. If they are, you make a quick exit and don’t bring them back until they are given the parental stink eye and told to behave “or else.”
Exactly. My kids have gone to the library at least weekly since birth, and they are generally well-behaved. When they’re not, we leave. Our library is also set up so that most adults are working upstairs during the day. The children’s section is downstairs.
I frequent our local branch library. There is a children’s room and a teen section. There has been only one instance of a screaming brat whose parent didn’t promptly remove him from the building.
Otherwise, all parents have been considerate of other patrons, providing welcome relief for others and good lessons for the kids about how to behave in public. I feel sorry for that kid, who had no discipline and whose mother let him scream and disturb others in a library. And I feel sorry for the kid, his future classmates and any further effects he may have on society.
People like that kid‚Äôs mother shouldn’t be allowed to breed.
CHILDREN SHOULD NEITHER BE SEEN NOR HEARD UNTIL THEY ARE OLD ENOUGH TO GO TO WORK IN THE FACTORIES (WHICH ALL DOCTORS KNOWLEDGEABLE ON THE SUBJECT AGREE IS NO LATER THAN FOUR YEARS OF AGE) AND UNTIL THEN THEY SHOULD BE TAUGHT THE VALUE OF TOIL AND THRIFT.
They shouldn’t be going to libraries until they are old enough to know better than to pull books off shelves and throw them on the floor, or rip-out pages & scribble in the books.
Also, airplanes.
Non-fast food restaurants.
Unless they can behave – a.k.a. old enough to not start crying and mature/parented enough so they don’t throw temper tantrums.
Even teenagers have temper tantrums. In fact, teenagers are worse than toddlers in many ways.
I was waiting for this.
And the next comment. Some parents don’t even try to shut up their kids.
My kids have always behaved in public, but I see a zillion others who do not and I think it all comes down to parenting. And I’ve never hit them or resorted to violence. Just a simple “no xbox tonight if you continue” or “if you continue to act this way, watch how fast your computer is gone from your room when we get home” speech works well. (and I do follow through!) Plus, at a young age, you have to explain to them what appropriate behavior is in public and why people have to act a certain way. And keep telling them until they get it. What’s ok at home isn’t ok away from home. Like my 7 year old son yelling “I farted!” and running through the house is ok, but not at the library:)
Hell, my brother was doing that at age 19…
Nah, it’s the kid. My daughter didn’t shriek, but she was a veritable monkey and I spent all my time telling her to get down and not climb on things.
This list is total BS. What are pregnant moms with kids supposed to do? Shell out 30 bucks once a week when she has to go to the doctor? My husband is a librarian and the “SHHHHHH!” model was phased out of libraries decades ago. Unless you are in a reading room, libraries are now supposed to be centers of community activity and that means, yes, noise. Especially in children’s rooms. Most have train tables, puppet theaters, blocks, bead mazes, etc, etc in them now.
I agree most of the list is BS but not all library systems work like that. My library is still a very quiet place where you will be SHHH’d.
That would be dependent on area. The libraries in my area are still typically quiet areas. The childrens’ book area is literally walled off from the rest of the library.
While I encourage everyone to bring their children to libraries, my library does not encourage the obnoxious behavior we often see in the quiet areas of the library by unsupervised, bratty toddlers and young children. Bring them to the library if they can behave themselves. Maybe a park is a better option for a kid that just wants to scream, climb, and run.
Highland Beach FTW. They call me “kid” because I’m the only one under the age of 60 who uses it. And there’s a nice view of the intercoastal and no Xmas crap because everyone’s Jewish.
Wow…this takes the cake as the worst list I have ever seen…With kids, you practically live in a doctors office (for annual check ups and sick visits), being a guy I can not speak for the salon and the library? Really? So anyplace that can be used to teach kids how to behave is off limits? Why not list restaurants…kids get messy and noisy there…or Church, kids always cry and scream there too. Maybe this fool should also include: cars, public transportation, airplanes, dentists, banks, grocery stores, kindergarten, family gatherings and the park (people may be reading a book on a sylvan glen…cant let the playground become too noisy and disturb them.)
Restaurants is listed in the main article. Along with shoe shopping.
I just buy my daughter shoes and try them on at home now because she would scream to the point of throwing up at the shoe store. Luckily, she’s easier to fit now that her feet are less baby chubby.
This is also the worst, most misleading summary possible for the original post. The original post is meant to be a humorous rant about her own children, not a serious list of places you shouldn’t take kids.
I know, right? Church is the worst. I hate when we’re about to sacrifice a white bullock so that its blood bathes the naked virgins below it and someone’s brat starts acting out. Totally kills the moment.
Read the linked article, and all I have to say is what the hell happened to parenting. Now there is a certain age range to which you basically can’t control your kid which is from 0 to probably around 2-3. After that, everything in this article could be handeled with proper parenting. People, you need to dicipline your kids… If you don’t have a firm hand they will walk all over you.
The article is sensationalistic garbage.
Spare the rod, spoil the child? j/k. I agree with letting your kids know who’s in charge and what you expect from them in public.
Please keep infants out of movie theaters. Last time I was at the theater there was a baby taking a dump in the seat behind me stinking up the area, burping and occasionally crying.
Agreed. My thinking is that opposed to letting in infants free of charge, there should be a significant fee so as to make paying for a babysitter a more attractive option. If I have to listen to your infant for the duration of the movie, you should at least be paying a hefty premium for that privilege. I think somewhere in the neighborhood of $50 would be reasonable.
One of my local theaters allows infants, but only with full-price tickets.
That’s a DAMN good idea. All theaters should do that!
That was me, sorry.
IT’S A MEDICAL CONDITION I CAN’T HELP IT
Not only infants, but toddlers too. I went to a few movies last year that was rated R with some nudity such as Hall Pass… No reason children should be watching that and running around.
I agree….they always cry, and those loud speakers can’t be good for their little ears.
1. The Theater.
2. Restaurants that require a jacket
3. Airplanes
#3 is why iPods and other music players exist. Kids are going to need to fly, and when they do, they scream because their ears hurt or they feel restricted or just because. Put in your earbuds and enjoy some music. Works for me.
It does until the kid starts kicking your chair
I guess you just shouldn’t fly then, if you’re so bothered by this stuff.
Or maybe they shouldn’t fly if they’re creating such a nuisance.
Use your fancy degrees to invent something to compensate for it, then.
#3. Airplanes.
I suppose you’re right, I’ll just leave my toddlers at home to fend for themselves for a week or two.
I don’t know if you’re ignorant, sarcastic, But I know you don’t have kids.
I was being neither.
It was your choice to have a kid, not mine. Don’t punish me because some crotchfuit that you deem precious and perfect is an out of control demon child
I guess you better avoid Arizona for a while. If you dont like kids on a commercial airliner, then pay for first class or charter your own plane.
The general rule of thumb for my family is that if they have a bucket of crayons at the counter, it is fine for kids.
http://epa82.files.wordpress.com/2011/12/enhanced-buzz-15854-1300424464-1.jpg
Remember, if you left your baby or toddler at home while you dine or fly, at least one other parent will graciously bring theirs along for all the other diners and passengers to enjoy.
If you do not like children, restrict yourself to places children aren’t permitted: your home and the homes of likeminded folk, and bars. The rest of the world is open to other people’s “crotch fruit” and you’ll just have to live with it. I know, it’s such an imposition, this whole continuation of the species thing.
This article is stupid. I’m guessing you don’t have kids, Phil. If you did, you wouldn’t post such garbage.
You should take your kids practically everywhere. Let them see everything, and teach them to act appropriately in public situations.
This article is more against parents, IMHO. If they taught appropriately, these places wouldn’t be problems.
I agree. We do a reasonable job in keeping our daughter quiet (and she’s 6 months old, so yeah, that sometimes doesn’t work), but when possible we do everything in our power (feeding, holding her, BINKY!) to be polite.
He is a parent: http://becauseitoldyouso.blogspot.com/2010/03/day-in-life.html
Library who still uses one of those, even Encyclopedia Britannica is no longer doing print.
So wait – is children’s storytime at the library a vicious trap to lure me into a web of ridicule over my parenting skills? And the summer reading program for children? I’m so confused.
Wow- really? Don’t take children to the children’s section of the library? WHAT IS IT THERE FOR???
Come to think of it. Kids have been heard in: Churches, schools (where they disrupt teachers!), and grocery stores.
These abominations should be restricted to their homes so those of us who have forgotten about our own childhoods can ignore the reality that people exist outside of our ages!
Come to think of it, the elderly can be downright annoying too, with their “special needs” and lack of mobility. Maybe they should just stay at home too!
Nobody should be allowed to leave the house until they reach 18. That’s the best way to raise well-adjusted adults who can behave in public.
Cue entitled parents who think they can take their “little angels” anywhere they want…
Clearly ever other child misbehaves but their little Timmy or Sally is a well behaved and adjusted individual that NEVER acts out in public
Clearly we should leave humans locked up in a cage until we can guarantee they will never act inappropriately. Oh wait, I guess that means forever, because I have seen drunken assholes act worse than any child.
So do you get like, referral kickbacks or something? Is that why you only post part of the article?
I mean, yea, like totally don’t take your kids to a library, ever.
/facepalm
On a more serious note: Grocery Stores, and shopping in General. Unless it’s something you need your kid around for (fitting for new shoes, clothes, et cetera) then don’t bring them with you.
Great idea: I’ll tell my sister in law to just leave the kids (1 and 3) at home next time she goes to the store while her husband is working.
Or maybe she can wait until her husband gets home to do the shopping? Or have a relative or neighbor watch the kids while she’s out? Or get a babysitter? No one is suggesting to leave small kids unsupervised, and there’s no need to be obtuse about it.
Don’t have kids unless you can afford a nanny.
I’m sick of the poor trash of this country being the only ones who breed – and not only that, seem entitled to do so.
I agree. I’ve had to dodge many wayward children in the grocery aisles. It’s not so much that they run away from their parent, it’s that they don’t understand they shouldn’t be walking alongside the cart in a tight aisle and they tend to walk with complete disregard for other people, so I’ve had more than one kid run straight into my path.
It sounds like the mommy on that blog just dont have control over her kids. Sure kids act out sometimes, but some of the things she mentions in the blog reeks of not disciplining the children when they act out.
You should never take your kids shoe shopping. They should wear bags on their feet until the age of 5. Stupid.
Phil, just quit and find a new job….You are wasting my time by reading these articles.
Everybody’s kid is different. You just need to know your child’s limitations and be ready with a plan (various diversions, take a walk outside, etc.) in case things aren’t going so great. And yeah I’m a parent, so I get +5 credibility.
Phil, you’re a parent. How do you feel about these suggestions?
I’m sure Phil hates taking his kid to the pediatrician too. I don’t get why he changed the message to make it some sort of thing about “for the greater good” that isn’t in the article.
I DON’T have kids and I still think this list is a crock. Because we all know that doctor’s appointments can always be scheduled for times when someone else is available to watch the kids – yeah, right.
Since many people don’t have any choice but to take their children with them if they want to get any errands done, I have two suggestions to make life endurable for the rest of us;
1) Teach your children what constitutes acceptable behavior in public.
2) The rest of us should stop freaking out an calling CPS when we see some adult giving a whining brat a much needed smack.
Not everyone can be a billionaire like Phil and can afford to keep an army of illegal maids to take care of their children every waking moment.
Parents should try to control their kids better, sure. But at the doctors office I can’t blame any kid of being loud or upset. Especially the ones that are in pain. I was a kid once, and Doctors offices were either the most boring or painful places in existence.
Unbelievable and asinine replies. Talk about a bunch of selfish crybabies. Honestly, I’d probably rather deal with your children than with some of you whining windbags who think you are more important than everyone else in the world because of the livestock you spawned.
Good luck getting ‘generation narcissism’ to respect the public at large. They will assume the right to do anything they want, and not to make a single sacrifice in lieu of having children. Yes, there are places where you’ll need to bring the children like supermarkets and doctor visits, but when you bring the 4 kiddies aged 7 months – 7 years to a sushi restaurant, you should be beaten, branded with a curling iron, and sent home. What gives you the right to push your screaming kids on the rest of us? YOU wanted kids, YOU make the sacrifice – don’t impose a sacrifice on the rest of us. The reason these selfish prima donna parents get away with this nonsense is because people tolerate it, grumble quietly and then leave. Bring them to a theater or an adult restaurant in front of me and I assure you, you’ll leave fully aware that you are not in fact the center of the universe. You wanted children. Your life will change. DEAL WITH IT.
But, if isn’t a private establishment or contributing to the delinquency of a minor (or whatever the charge would be for going to a strip club), why shouldn’t I bring a member of the public who may be a bit younger than you?
It’s about respect. Showing respect for other people who have no responsibility to tolerate your children. It doesn’t take a village to raise a child, it takes a responsible parent who has a healthy respect for the public sphere.
So, if I’m understanding correctly, parents should refrain from bringing their children into the public sphere because the child’s behavior may not conform to the behavior of a percentage of the population (which may or may not be the majority, depending on venue). Moreover, it is not incumbent on other adults to tolerate either the parent for bringing the child or the child whose behavior is non-conformist, but rather it is essential that the parents be aware of the due respect which those without children merit.
Am I right?
Places in the public sphere where people are *paying* to enjoy themselves, relax or be entertained. Parents have to bring children with them sometimes, such as the grocery store, DMV, doctor’s office, etc. However, I am referring to adult themed places like restaurants, libraries, bars, theaters (sans children’s movies), etc. If I pay money to be somewhere for a mature atmosphere and entertainment, then I have a right to enjoy that paid environment without the nuisance of unruly children being unleashed on me. Further, if people have money to go to a restaurant or a theater, then they have money for a babysitter. I don’t hate or even blame the kids. Children need to be accounted for, and sadly we live in a self-absorbed world full of people who feel entitled to do whatever they want and screw everyone else. That entitlement extends so absurdly far today, that people let the TV, elementary school and the daycare center raise their children (boo-hoo we need to work two jobs so we can have all this stuff…). Many usually do nothing to monitor or control their children’s behavior outside the home. There are places where I am more than willing to tolerate the presence of children in public – absolutely- , but if I am in a public place where I am paying to be in an adult-themed setting, then I expect it to be free of children. I say this because I know that I cannot expect the narcissistic bozo parents to take responsibility for them.
It’s funny how everything you said applies to you.
Well, you’re a sharp one! I do appreciate when someone pees directly into the wind. Yes even though I don’t have children I shouldn’t impose my will on others in the public sphere and force them to make sacrifices on my behalf. Outstanding. Look how witty you thought you were, yet you were (somewhat ironically, and accidentally) correct the whole time.
*wild applause*
Couldn’t have said it better myself. YOU wanted the brats, YOU take care of them, and keep the damn things at home if they can’t behave themselves.
I usually stay off the Bash the Phill Bus, but I have never seen him write such a myopic, self centered, self rightious article that got my dander up. Crappy reporting and article writing skills aside this article and the linked blog are insulting to competent parents.
That Mommyland article just makes me think she doesn’t control her children. I sold shoes for nearly 15 years, 9 of them in a big box environment. When kids were misbehaving and moms couldn’t control them, it only took me a few minutes to get the kid corralled and measured, shoes picked out and tried on and everybody on their way.
Sometimes it was a matter of using my in-charge voice and using reason, sometimes it was a matter of handing the other sibling something to read or play with while the first one was being measured and fitted. I’m amazed at how little control parents have over their children and how unprepared they are for going in public, despite the giant diaper bags that fit every item from home in it. I swear, retail is great birth control.
The best birth control I’ve ever used was hanging out with my friend who’s a single mom with two boys under the age of 4. If it’s not one of them acting out and screaming, it’s the other one, and then one will set the other off. And she truly is trying her damndest to parent – it’s just two against one, so the kids win.
Honestly, my brother was like the kid in the article at the shoe store. My sister and I loved going for shoes, but he was just the biggest whiner in the entire universe. It was not only embarrassing but annoying even for us kids. Thank God he saved the “BUT THEY DON’T FEEEEEEEEL GOOOOOOOD!!” fit for when we got home.
Of course, back then, people didn’t harrumph and feel like they simply MUST comment on a person’s parenting skills whenever a small child got crabby or tearful. And our mother pretty much made us behave or we didn’t go.
Awful, non-newsworthy article, but I will say that kids in the grocery store drive me crazy. GET OUT OF THE WAAAAAAAAY…
You know it’s funny. I was at the store the other day looking at some stuff on the shelf, a woman came down the other side looking at the other stuff. Then a woman wheeled around the corner real fast and started huffing loudly until we noticed her, there was room for her to get through, but she didn’t think so.
So I pushed my cart away and the other woman moved off. There was a little girl with her mother who after the woman left said “That was really rude mommy, you should have said excuse me.” Then the mother screamed back “SHE WAS IN THE WAY YOU DON’T HAVE TO SAY EXCUSE ME WHEN OTHER PEOPLE ARE IN THE WAY!”
I felt so bad that the mother had a smart, nice little girl and was “teaching” her such horrible things. I had to hightail it out of there to keep from going off.
This is a stupid summary of a vaguely satirical (but not very well-written) article.
Your posting is bad and you should feel bad.
How about this…take your kid where ever you want. But do not let him or her run around willy nilly, always use the inside voice, come with a coloring book or something to keep them occupied, and if they cannot follow the rules for adult places please leave. Yes it is a pain, but it works and teaches kids that they are not in charge.
The blog doesn’t just say “doctor” it says “pediatrician”. Bitch – please! Don’t take your child to the pediatrician’s office? What, you’re supposed to take him/her to a witch doctor/shaman/psychic surgeon? Stopped reading at that point.
The article said “don’t take your kid to the pediatrician if he/she doesn’t need to be there.” For example, to pick up a prescription refill or drop off an immunization form.
BZZZZZT! Wrong. Quote “Now let me tell you about the five places you should avoid taking your toddler AT ALL COSTS.
1. The Pediatrician”
She goes on to ramble about her experiences picking up prescriptions to no point.
I still recall my mom threatening to count to three and if I hadn’t calmed down by then, I was whisked out of wherever we were (grocery store, restaurant) and brought outside to the car to calm down. I was so nosy and afraid I’d miss something exciting that I’d usually calm down before the punishment. My parents also recognized that small children can entertain themselves best when there are toys to do so. I marvel at parents who expect their toddlers to make do for hours with nothing and then are surprised when little precious doesn’t behave.
This post was dumb and somewhat insulting. Buuuut.. One place I’d add is Starbucks/Coffee Shop if you plan to “sit and sip” because your kids will not sit there and sip.
I like how parents like to use “Oh, they OBVIOUSLY don’t have kids” as some sort of end-all and be-all retort for anything anyone says about what gigantic pains in the ass kids tend to be in public.
Like, what exactly is that even supposed to mean? If you aren’t hopping on board to squeeze out some youngins, it’s your civic duty to deal with their crap until you too are contributing to global overpopulation? I know being a parent sucks, it’s pretty clear every time little Aydenn or Hayleeigh runs around shrieking in the doctor’s office.
+1 for misspellings of asinine names
It means, “Obviously you aren’t me”. It’s a typical selfish knee-jerk response from some smug parent who believes that it is your responsibility to make sacrifices for their genetic offspring. Listen to the wailing in these replies “Phil this is horrible” and “What a rotten article”. Yes, anything that suggests limits on how much they can impose themselves on everybody else is just downright naziism. There’s an easy solution to all of this: Either don’t have children, or else understand that you’re the one who is responsible for them – not everyone else!
Parents are way more likely to assume a temper tantrum is the result of a bad day, rather than jumping to the “chronic incompetence” conculsion. That’s why it matters.
Look at it this way. Most people who have driven in their lives don’t see a car accident on the road and assume everyone involved is a total idiot who sets out to snarl up traffic and be an inconvenience. Because if you have a license or even are just a frequent passenger, you have likely seen firsthand just how easily an accident can happen even if you’re basically competent – someone stops short, there’s black ice on the road, whatever.
If my kid is crying in the grocery store, and you hear it, you can decide that this is some metaphorical black ice. A bad parent-child moment. Or, you decide that I’m utterly incapable of parenthood AND that I have some sort of agenda about the reproductive choices of strangers AND that I have this weird desire to impose my child’s cries upon you. You have no idea – no goddamn idea – how embarrassed I am at that moment, because you’ve never had to live through it as anything but an inconvenienced observer.
This is the difference between commentary from a parent and a non-parent – a little understanding for the predicament.
And no, being a parent doesn’t “suck.” It has sucky moments, just like everything else in life, but it’s also a lot of fun. If you only ever notice the sucky moments because those are the ones when somebody is crying in public, of course you think it’s hell, but they’re a small fraction.
I think everyone understands kids have bad days. It’s life. We see you struggling and feel sympathy more than anything.
But you can’t call it a lack of understanding when people complain because a parent is just dismissing the misbehavior in such a way as to make it everyone else’s problem. That’s what’s not okay, it’s rude and obnoxious, moreso on the part of the adult who should have half a clue about what acceptable behavior in public is, and should be taking responsibility for their offspring. It’s probably obvious when you’re embarassed and trying to calm a tantrum, but have you ever seen a parent who is chatting on the phone or with someone else, exhibiting purposeful obliviousness to the havoc their tots are wreaking?
So just the other day, I was at Costco, and a tot runs at me full-speed and crashes into my legs. I saw it coming and at least was able to turn my cart away so the sprog didn’t crash into that and get hurt. There were a couple of women chatting with each other nearby, so I said, “Hey lady!” and gestured to the kid who was still kind of flopping on the floor at my feet. One of them shot me a dirty look, as is *I* was imposing on *her* by bringing her attention to the fact that her kid was crashing into me.
So, am I “lacking in understanding” because I judged her to be not an incompetent parent, but a complete asshole to boot? I think this is the sort of situation that gets under most folks’ skins, Based on what you wrote here, I think maybe you didn’t have that sort of terrible parenting on your radar and think that people are annoyed even when you really do care and are doing your best to handle things, but there are parents who are so terrible and inconsiderate of everyone else that they really shouldn’t be allowed in public themselves, much less with their kids in tow.
By choice, I’m not a parent, and I don’t enjoy being around kids.
BUT. But but but. You’re completely wrong about public libraries. Kids, including very young kids, need to learn to view libraries and books as positive, welcoming places. And it helps foster interest in reading if kids go and get to choose their own books, instead of having their parents bring them books home. The children’s sections these days often have computers especially for the little ones right there, with children-centric programs loaded onto them. Libraries are meant to be used, and librarians belong to everyone. Heck, the teen sections now have vending machines right in them, when before food wasn’t allowed anywhere near the books. Get with the new millennium!
Also, not every parent can afford a babysitter every time they need to run errands. Yes, I expect parents to address their children’s behavior. But we can’t just hide all the kids away at home all the time.
Honestly, if this was dated April 1 I would have assumed an April Fool’s joke, because it’s such a ridiculous post.
Insulting and stupid post. If YOU can’t deal with kids, then please remove yourself from society.
Replace kids with “wild animals”. Repeat statement out loud & see if it still sounds reasonable. Wild animals are a nuisance to civilized society and so are misbehaving kids.
It’s too bad kids are already a part of society while wild animals are not….I don’t see your point.
Kids sometimes misbehave, that’s a fact. Now, wildly misbehaving kids are the parent’s fault, but there is a certain level of dealing with kids in society that you need to learn to just accept.
I wouldn’t mind leaving my children behind if someone wouldn’t mind bank rolling that babysitter I’m always going to need on hand.
Right because of course it’s not your responsibility to pay the sitter.
The courthouse – bring your kids here and they will be bored out of their minds! If you *must* bring them, use the free onsite licensed childcare that most courthouses provide. Case information and court forms are usually available on the court’s website, so you might not need to go to the courthouse at all.
How about parents just follow the rule, ‘If your child is melting down, remove them from the situation and deal with it.’
My kids go to all the above mentioned places without incident because I follow my one rule. I also teach them how to behave in public instead of assuming that the world is my babysitter.
Hear, hear! If you’re kid’s having a tantrum, show me that you’re TRYING to parent appropriately, and we’re fine. But if you’re chatting on the phone, Starbucks in hand, completely ignoring your child who is having a meltdown? PREPARE FOR GLARES OF DEATH. And to the parent, not the child!
The library? Sorry. I go to the library every single Saturday morning with my kids. If you don’t like it, then you can go M-F, or late Sat. If you need a quiet place to study, then stay the fark out of the children’s section. Just as you feel entitled to quiet reference section, I feel entitlted to a kid-friendly children’s section. You don’t like it? Go read at Starbucks.
This article makes me regret donating to Consumerist. Silly, Insensitive, and off-topic.
Oh my God, this article was hilarious. Yes, it’s can be extremely difficult dragging a little kid around with you and it’s not always convenient to leave them at home. But it’s nice she has a sense of humor about it.
I agree. I was all ready to be outraged but instead I laughed.