Worker At Pirate-Themed Eatery Fends Off Burglar With Sword, Beer Bottle

When defending your place of employment against an intruder, one just has to work with what’s on hand. And at Captain Steamer’s Oyster Bar, being in a pirate-themed restaurant paid off, when an employee overcame a burglar with a sword and a beer bottle.

The sword is supposed to be part of the decor, says the Daytona Beach News-Journal, but it served a security guard well. In the wee hours of the morning on Sunday, cops say the employee was working at the eatery where patrons “Party Like a Pirate,” when he heard a strange noise and grabbed a sword with a broken handle.

Upon entering the kitchen, the employee saw a masked man and asked what he was doing there. The man replied, “Don’t kill me. Don’t kill me.” Logical plea, when faced with a pirate sword.

While holding the intruder at bay with the sword pressed into his stomach, the employee called the cops. The suspect was armed with a tire iron, and after offering the employee money to put the phone down, he whacked him three times on the head. A struggle then ensued over the sword.

The employee won out, and subsequently slammed the other man over the head with a bottle of Bud Lite, grabbed a screwdriver and marched the suspect out of the restaurant to the waiting cops.

Cops say the would-be burglar claims he’d gone back to the bar to look for his wallet, which he’d left behind, and had been dragged in by the employee. You know, just going about his usual business, bringing a tire iron along for entering closed restaurants at five in the morning. He was charged with armed burglary.

Police: Daytona restaurant security worker wields sword against burglar [Daytona Beach News-Journal]

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  1. areaman says:

    Florida hero!

  2. YouDidWhatNow? says:

    When you say “grabbed a screwdriver” do you mean he actually, like, brandished a #2 Philips at the guy to march him out of the store, or did he snag an OJ & vodka on the way by the bar to celebrate his piratey conquest?

    • Mr. Fix-It says: "Canadian Bacon is best bacon!" says:

      I know which one it probably is, but the latter of the two scenarios is too funny to ignore…

      • YouDidWhatNow? says:

        I was actually particularly proud of the use of the word “brandished” – only pirates “brandish” things. Usually cutlasses…but I guess in a pinch a screwdriver would do.

        “Off to Isla des Muertes with ya, ya scurvy dog!” growled Backhanded John, as he brandished his cutlass menacingly close to the robber’s throat…

  3. samonela says:

    Cue the “he’ll be fired in 5…4…3…2….” comments in 5…4…3…2…

  4. suez says:

    Avast, this be arrrrrrr booty!

  5. Jack T Ripper says:

    “…slammed the other man over the head with a bottle of Bud Lite, grabbed a screwdriver…”

    I like a nice screwdriver at 5 in the morning as well. Well played, my pirate friend. The most interesting man in the world would salute you!

    • Jack T Ripper says:

      And why hasn’t anyone said anything about the wanton alcohol abuse in this article?? He smashed a bottle of Bud Lite? Don’t we have laws about that kind of thing? Alcohol abuse indeed!

  6. CrankyOwl says:

    This article is full of win, as is the pirate kitty.

    Arrghh.

  7. dorianh49 says:

    Some reports state that the worker said the following before whacking him with the bottle: “Mister, if you don’t shut up I’m gonna kick one hundred percent of your ass!”

  8. Pigfish99 the randomly insane says:

    If there was a video of this, it would turn viral.

  9. AlteredBeast (blaming the OP one article at a time.) says:

    “You wouldn’t download a reasturant, would you?”

  10. Dallas_shopper says:

    Why am I picturing Judge Reinhold’s character in Fast Times at Ridgemont High?

  11. Deep Cover says:

    So if the robber had gun and killed the restaurant worker he could then claim the “Stand your ground law” and the robber should be walking the streets “free” right now and the restaurant worker would be dead? Isn’t that how things work in Florida?

    • oldwiz65 says:

      Sometimes I’m surprised more people in Florida don’t openly carry pistols. I can picture duels on main street, armed robbers being shot down by not just the clerk in a store but also other patrons who feel they were endangered.

    • StarKillerX says:

      Sorry but trying to twist this story into an unconnected rant doesn’t work since you obviously haven’t bothered to get the facts on the law your talking about. The first requirement of the stand your ground laws requires that you be in an area in which you are legally allowed to be.

  12. StarKillerX says:

    He crook hit the guard on the head three times with a tire iron and then gets taken out by a beer bottle? WTF?!?!

  13. failurate says:

    I wonder if they serve bacon wrapped shrimp?

  14. AJC says:

    I imagine the scene went something like this.

    [Tire iron dueling broken sword.]

    Crook: Who are you?
    Dread Pirate (themed restaurant guy): No one of consequence.
    C: Really, I must know.
    DP(trg): Get used to disappointment. (BONK!)

  15. elangomatt says:

    The only thing that would have made this story any better was if it happened on September 19th (national talk like a pirate day), and if the robber replied “Argh, don’t kill me matey, don’t kill me matey!”

  16. nishioka says:

    Pirate kitteh says “arrr, giev me ur cheezburgers!”

  17. some.nerd says:

    “Captain Steamers?”
    Yup, sounds like Florida to me! That, or Cleveland… eeeeeeew.

    • some.nerd says:

      …adding to that, it’s almost as unfortunately-named as “The Clam Box” in Quincy, MA… yeah. That’s a thing.

  18. working class Zer0 says:

    Would have been even greater if the robber was a ninja.

  19. Apoc says:

    I am proud to be able to say, I have partied with this man (the “guard”) and I am proud.

    Stay classy, Daytona.

  20. HogwartsProfessor says:

    Yarr!

    I used to work at this place that opened around 9 am, and I went to work at 7. Often I was the only person in there for a while doing prep work (it was a restaurant). We had this huge aluminum pry bar that we used to get the tops off the pickle buckets. I carried it around with me when I was in there before coworkers arrived, just in case. It really could have cleaned someone’s clock.