Who would want to burn beef jerky? Sure, it’s dry, but it’s not the best tinder and besides, it’s delicious and arson is bad. A clerk at Walgreens recently saved the store from a fire when he discovered burning bags of beef and put out the fire.
It all went down in Waterloo, Iowa, according to WCFCourier.com, when a 15-year-old kid allegedly lit two bags of jerky on fire with a cigarette letter. His smoky work went unnoticed at first, until a clerk found the fire and “extinguished the flame by blowing on it,” say cops.
No need for fancy fire extinguishers when a good huff and puff will get the job done, eh?
The kid was caught on surveillance cameras lighting the fire with a cigarette lighter from the store on his way out, and was later arrested for first-degree arson.
*Thanks for the link, Kosmo!
Drug store clerk puts out burning jerky bags [WCFCourier.com]
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He may have saved Walgreens from property damage, but will likely get fired anyway due to their ancient and unreasonable policies.
Spellcheck?
spell check would not have caught it, because the word was not misspelled.
…what did he think was misspelled?
letter != lighter
OOOOoooooooh. Totally missed that. Letter rip.
No, no, it was an incendiary letter.
I like how “Heroic” “Hero” and “Miracle” have lost all meaning these days. I know MB was using the term to be funny here, but they’re constantly being used in the media when they shouldn’t be.
“Heroic man calls 911!”
“Heroic woman performs her job like she was expected and trained to!”
“Heroic Walgreens janitor cleans up mess caused by 4 sticks of jerky on fire”
Heroic internet dwellers read stuff on a website!
heroic typist jabs valiantly at keyboard…
Heroic troll calls out non-existent spelling error!
Heroic parrot squawks about nonsense.
Heroic troll had a valiant attempt thwarted.
with a cigarette letter????
Yeah, no doubt. I was expecting to read that the beef jerky was in close proximity to an elderly woman and her twelve precious kittens, and the epic fire (had it been allowed to burn for a few seconds more) would have destroyed the hopes and dreams of millions in Africa. And the only way the majestic Clerk could blow it out was to summon the combined power of all of his future sexual experiences into one focused assault on the conflagration, but sadly losing all of those experiences forever. And when the jerky fire was out, and grandma and her kittens ok, and Africa’s dreams left intact, he fell to the floor, a single tear falling from his pristine cheek. The tear landed on the ground, and a beautiful undying orchid now grows in that spot, a symbol of hope and courage to all that look upon it.
And all i got was this bullshit article.
Bad call, Walgreens Clerk. First, you passed up an excellent chance to use the fire extinguisher consequence free (which is unreasonably fun despite one’s age), but now also all the other colleagues are going to make jokes about how much you blow.
Awesome. I can now cross “be mentioned in Consumerist” off my bucket list.
I can imagine this kid being the laughing stock of his cell block. “They blew out your fire? That’s not a fire. THIS is a fire.”
(OK, it’s better when Crocodile Dundee does it).
Or Eddie Murphy. “Now tha’s a fire!”
“Oh Charlie be all right. Roll ‘im around a little. Roll ‘im around.”
Who lights jerky on fire? Wendy Williams!
Wait, jerky is flammable? With no accelerant?? Holy crap! If it weren’t a waste of processed meat product, I’d say I have to go home and try this…
Yup…lots of animal fat in there with little water content.
You know how great of a fire starter corn chips are? When you dehydrate a meat, you remove the water, but leave the fat, which makes it easier to ignite. Plus the plastic the bag is made of.
Non-dairy creamer also works great.
Just because we are boy scouts doesn’t make us pyromaniacs (although sometimes we turn out that way.)
Hell, the Mythbusters made a a viable rocket out of salami.
Cigarette letter?
For f*cks sake, no editing.
You haven’t smoked until you’ve smoked a cigarette letter.
http://us.cdn1.123rf.com/168nwm/amorphis/amorphis0907/amorphis090700011/5260547-no-word-made-with-cigarettes.jpg
The man, who went by “Mr. Kent” declined interview as he pushed his glasses up.
Oh, I thought the employee’s name was “B. B. Wolf.”
Did someone say Bad Wolf?
SQUEEEEEEE! Loved that season!
Hmm I never pondered if jerky was flammable. Next question can I mix jerky with hickory chips to get a nice jerky smoked rack of ribs?
Dear Cigarette,
Thank you very much for the second-hand smoke. I am a very great fan of the cancer and I was having very poor luck in developing a melanoma.
I look forward to our future endeavors together.
Love,
NotEd
P.S. Menthol is just the best!
Desperate for content, are we?
I still don’t get the punks that think shit like that is funny.