Top Posts Of The Week And Open Thread

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  1. Jules Noctambule says:

    Kitten bouquet! I’ll take two, please. Just make sure you don’t leave them on the porch when delivering or the neighbours will steal them.

    • TheMansfieldMauler says:

      Ok but don’t complain if they haven’t opened yet.

    • CrankyOwl says:

      I’d like the gray kitteh on the left, the one with the white patch on its chest. Oh, and maybe the black kitteh on the right, if that’s not asking too much. K thx bai.

    • catastrophegirl chooses not to fly says:

      don’t worry, kitten season is coming. we can arrange for delivery

    • lovemypets00 - You'll need to forgive me, my social filter has cracked. says:

      My outside cat, Chloe, has a new friend, a totally black cat with yellow eyes, and this poor thing is so thin all bones are showing. I’m feeding it, too. Yes, SPCA still full. No kill shelter overflowing. People who want new kitties = zero. But I just can’t turn away a hungry kitty.

      **hopes I don’t turn into the crazy cat lady in the neighborhood.

      • Jules Noctambule says:

        Better to be a crazy cat lady than to be heartless.

        • lovemypets00 - You'll need to forgive me, my social filter has cracked. says:

          Thanks :) I feed everything, birds, squirrels by default, and I move turtles, toads and snakes off the road in the summer so they don’t get squished. I put water out for the birds during dry spells in the summer. I should put a sign at the end of the driveway that says “All Critters – Free Food and Shelter”.

  2. raydee wandered off on a tangent and got lost says:

    I had a dream last night that my cat, Sparkles, and one of his sisters were tiny kittens again, only even tinier than they were–like, curl-up-in-my-palm size. (Sparkles has been my kitty since he was born, his mom was a stray we took in.)

    But then I gave them growth syrup and they became bigger, so I was able to stop worrying about accidentally squishing them in my pocket. They didn’t fit anymore, but at least they were safer.

    Also they were at work with me for some reason, and I was worried I’d get in trouble because someone in the office might be allergic. But my boss liked them because they kept the rat population down.

    I wonder what became of Sparkles’ sisters; his litter was three girls and two boys, and the girls were all adopted out, and his brother got hit by a car. :(

  3. Dallas_shopper says:

    So I put in a special order for a case of a specific product at Whole Foods 2 weeks ago, and it was a comedy of errors that I won’t repeat here…but suffice it to say it shouldn’t have taken 2 weeks and it was a total pain in the butt.

    So today I wrote an e-mail to the store manager via the WF website detailing the agonizingly long transaction and offering constructive advice as to how these minor communication breakdowns might be avoided in the future to avoid a simple special order turning into a 2-weeklong headache. No swearing, no threats, no “you guys are stupid” or anything like that, and I didn’t demand anything from them. Just said “I like your store and here’s an unpleasant experience I had and here’s some advice on how to make it better next time.”

    Got an e-mail back within an hour with an apology for the inconvenience, and a note saying there was a $25 gift card for me at customer service to make up for it.

    Now I feel almost guilty!

    Almost. :-)

    • AstroPig7 says:

      Was it the WF near Willow Bend? The staff there has always been great to me (the other customers not so much).

      • Dallas_shopper says:

        Nope, this was the WF at Preston and Forest in Dallas. The employees at the Willow Bend store are great, certainly nicer than the ones at Preston and Forest, but the ones at the Richardson Whole Foods are by far the nicest. The customers are bad at Willow Bend but they’re much worse at Preston and Forest; only reason I ever go in there is because it’s semi-on-the-way-home and the Richardson location doesn’t stock the product I was after, so it’d take them longer (theoretically) to get it even via special order.

  4. Coffee says:

    It’s been really cold this winter, which makes it hard to get out at times, and I’m beginning to feel the the walls and ceiling pressing down on me like a great weight on my chest. It’s hard to breathe (metaphorically speaking), and I needed to get out. Thankfully, last night was warmer than most, and I took the opportunity to go for a walk.

    I live close to a canal, and there is an abandoned road adjacent to it that follows its meandering progression through the fields outside town, past local wineries, and into the hills that frame Yakima Valley. Bundled up and carrying snacks (cookies I’m made the night before last), I set out into the darkness, and after walking about a half mile, I realized that I’d left my phone behind, so I couldn’t listen to music or podcasts like I normally do.

    I only mention this detail because were I plugged in, I might not have heard the muffled sobs emanating from a small bush. The bush sat next to a bridge, which connected my side of the canal with the rest of town. Standing in the middle, one can look left at shining lights and small figures moving purposively, then one can look right and see quiet pear orchards and the skeletons of old settlements. I surmised that the person sobbing had come from town, maybe had a fight with a boyfriend or parents.

    I don’t normally intrude into other people’s affairs. I follow the Golden Rule, and generally speaking, I would rather be left alone, especially when I am going through crisis. Something pulled me, however. Maybe it was because I’d recently read about Kitty Genovese, a 28-year-old woman who’d been stabbed to death by a serial rapist and murderer over a period of minutes because everyone just assumed someone would do…something. Maybe I just needed to feel like a good person. I don’t know.

    Pulling the branches aside, I saw a teenage girl in what appeared to be a Cookie Monster costume, sans the head. Its normally blue fur was tattered and stained with mud, and she was shivering. All I remember about her face are her large eyes, and that one of her nostrils would close occasionally as she choked back a sob.

    “Are you all right?” I asked.

    “No.”

    “I’m sorry to hear that.”

    Silence.

    “Where do you live?”

    She pointed toward town, but then her arm began to move slowly to the side, the tip of her finger transcribing a semi-circle until it pointed directly at my chest.

    “You live inside me?”

    She shook her head angrily and stabbed her finger toward my chest again. I moved to the side, and her arm did not move with me. Turning, I could just make out the frame of a long-abandoned barn. I’d walked by it before and knew that the wood was brown and rotting, its paint peeled scoured away by the elements years ago.

    “You live there? In that barn?”

    She nodded.

    “I see.”

    I was at a loss. Should I call the police? Like I said, I don’t like to pry into others’ affairs, but there was clearly something wrong here. At that moment, however, something dark and round caught my attention. Cookie Monster’s head, lying several feet away. I walked over, picked it up, and suddenly everything made sense. I handed the head to the girl and she quickly put it on.

    “Cookie Monster?”

    It looked up at me.

    “Would you…would you like a cookie?” I reached into my pocket and pulled out several.

    It nodded.

    “Okay. Make sure these last. They’re all I have, and you look hungry, so don’t waste them.” I handed the cookies to Cookie Monster and he looked down at them for a moment, then looked up at me. Then, he shoved the cookies violently into his mouth, crumbs and chunks flying everywhere.

    “OM NOM NOM NOM.”

    Smiling to myself, I walked into the night, knowing that I’d done a good thing.

  5. catastrophegirl chooses not to fly says:

    hooray! my dog isn’t ALL better, but his liver infection cleared up. he’s not having organ failure. still going to be a couple of hundred bucks a month in thyroid and gall bladder meds and laser therapy but he is on his way to being a happy, healthy [if really old] dog again.
    my experiment with videos of adoptable rescue cats is working – most of the kitties i took video of that were at the adoption event got adopted.
    http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL361B4A94ED36B803&feature=plcp
    now if i could just learn to edit the audio [any tips?] and make an all kittens all the time roku channel!

    • Dallas_shopper says:

      Yay for your dog! :-D

    • Kimaroo - 100% Pure Natural Kitteh says:

      I’m glad to hear your dog is doing better : ) I also eagerly await the all kitten Roku channel. I hope you can make that work because I will definitely watch it!

    • InsertPithyNicknameHere says:

      That’s awesome news, both about your dog and about the success of the kitty adoptions!

      • catastrophegirl chooses not to fly says:

        yep, we had a 13 kitty adoption weekend, almost a record [the record is 15]
        so now i need to work on getting more of the foster kitties recorded being cute. they aren’t always cute at the adoption center because it’s a scary noisy thing. i’m hoping some foster parents let me come to their houses and record

        • SmokeyBacon says:

          You should see if some of the foster parents who have video cameras will record some stuff for you if you can’t get to see all of them. Then you can try to do the videos at the homes where they don’t have one and cover more ground. Just convince the it is fun (no, not frustrating at all trying to get the cats to be cute, and look at the camera, and not bite their brother, and stop trying to eat that cord…you know what I mean I am sure).

          • catastrophegirl chooses not to fly says:

            we tried that. then we run into the “it’s too big to email” issue and the log in on the youtube channel is related to the email and the blog so we can’t share it with dozens of people. so if you know a free way for dozens of people to send me large video files, that’d be a HUGE help

            • InsertPithyNicknameHere says:

              Oh, I can help with that! I use a service called WeTransfer ( https://www.wetransfer.com ). You can send files up to 2GB in size. You don’t have to sign up for anything, and they don’t send you emails. The catch is that they will only keep your file on their servers for 2 weeks – so when someone sends you something, you need to download it in a timely fashion. I’ve used it to send television epsiodes of over 90 minutes, so the file sizes you’d be sending and receiving should be no problem.

              I’ve been using it for a couple of years (I first heard about it from the Webbys a few years ago), and I’ve been consistently happy with the service. And no, I don’t get anything for telling you about it, I just really like sharing online tools that I find useful. =)

              • catastrophegirl chooses not to fly says:

                thank you so much, i will check it out

              • catastrophegirl chooses not to fly says:

                whoohoo! that’s fantastic. i just tried it out and so far it seems to be working. it’s not super fast but it’s way better than driving around to pick them up in person

    • Coffee says:

      Congratulations, catastrophe…I know this has been an ongoing issue for you, and it’s great that there was a happy ending :)

    • You Can Call Me Al(isa) says:

      I haven’t been reading the Open Threads much lately. Did you ever get the raccoon visitor issue resolved?

      • catastrophegirl chooses not to fly says:

        no. i’ve determined it’s probably male since this is nesting season and it’s still coming inside. this is good because then it’s not teaching the next generation about my house. my roommate said it came in last night extra early, around 7pm and went all the way down the hall – she spotted it and chased it out right before it went in my bedroom.
        my vet has advised that i should start locking the cat door – whether the cats are inside or not as long as there is shelter for the cats [the covered back porch with furniture they can climb on]
        so i’ve started trying to teach three of the cats [the other one already figured it out] how to use the dog door because then i can just stop using the cat door completely. the raccoon is very unlikely to come in past the dog – the dog is very big and very loud

    • IT-Princess: I work in IT, you owe me $1 says:

      Yay! Great news! :D

    • SmokeyBacon says:

      Oh that is great your dog is doing better – I hope that continues for a long time!

      And boy, I had to check out the videos – wonderful. And hey, if you do ever start that all kittens all the time channel you have to let us know – I would totally watch it. I am glad that your idea for the videos helped – and I can see why because darn, I kind of love all of them (they are all so cute!). Wish I could help with the audio but all my cat videos have me talking in the background sounding like an idiot – I just tell people to watch with the sound off (which is how I watched yours since I watched from work). I know YouTube has a way to get rid of it and add music but other than that I am not sure.

      • catastrophegirl chooses not to fly says:

        yeah, basically most of the “at home” [taken in the foster home] videos have someone in the background saying “who peed on this!?!” or “he’s been fine ever since we changed his diet but before that he had diarrhea for weeks” – not good things in what is basically a promo video

        • SmokeyBacon says:

          Oh, that sounds better than the weird random stuff I have on my videos. And the weird conversations I have with the cats. And the horribly embarassing TV shows in the background that I then feel the need to apologize for.

    • lovemypets00 - You'll need to forgive me, my social filter has cracked. says:

      Wonderful! So glad about your doggie!

    • Not Given says:
      • catastrophegirl chooses not to fly says:

        i have windows 7 and it has software for it, i just need to learn to use it

        • catastrophegirl chooses not to fly says:

          and accidentally submitted before i finished my comment.
          i wasn’t aware audacity had options for editing the audio of videos. i haven’t looked at it in years. if it’s easier than the windows movie maker i’d be all for that. i’m trying to remove the voices of people talking in the background and leave cute mewling kitten sounds.
          alternately, i could duct tape the mouths of the nearby humans

  6. Dr. Ned - This underwear is Sofa King Comfortable! says:

    Going to go see Flogging Molly tonight! Especially excited because Black Joe Lewis & the Honeybears are opening for them. This show is going to rock.

    Also, getting a deep tissue massage tomorrow. And my new Dyson DC23 came in earlier this week so I’m gonna clean mah floors! Everything’s coming up Milhouse!

    • IT-Princess: I work in IT, you owe me $1 says:

      I love my Dyson so hard that I have two of them, to keep each other company when I am gone. They live on different floors, one is pink and the other is purple, but I imagine when I am at work they get together for chats about the wonderful things they have cleaned.

      • Cat says:

        Maybe someday you’ll come home to a litter of little Mauve Dysons :/

      • SmokeyBacon says:

        Oh you are so lucky – we have one and have to carry it up and down the stairs. We want that cordless Dyson for downstairs, so that we have it down there all the time to catch the cat hair tumbleweeds. We have a couple other vacuums (one that was for downstairs somehow is now upstairs and unused because it is ok on wood/laminate but not good at all for carpet, and one that is specific for the cat litter area – because the Dyson is not allowed to vacuum up the litter that the cats track out of the box) and I am pretty sure they are jealous of how much love the Dyson gets. I totally would believe your two get together and hang out when you are not home.

    • nicless says:

      I’ve seen Flogging Molly in concert many-a-time and they never ever disappoint. Well, there was that show on St. Patrick’s Day one year where they were supposed to be on a double bill with the Mighty Mighty Bosstones but they pulled out to go play the Jimmy Kimmel show. I was disappointed then. But if they show up, GREAT SHOW!

  7. InsertPithyNicknameHere says:

    Oh thank heavens it’s Friday. I’m going to be busy cleaning all weekend, but after the aggrivating week I’ve had at work, I’ll just be glad to not be here.

    Also, I’m very excited because Facets Cinema (in Chicago) has announced a new “Night School” series, where they show cult films at midnight on Saturdays for only $5.

  8. chizu says:

    So this is the week when I started my mandatory 4-day weekend… I’m taking it slowly, to just get my head around what I should/want to do. There’s a bunch of cleaning involved, so at least I’m trying to focus on that…

    I got my unemployment benefit package in the mail, I have to finish reading through it to make sure I understand everything. If I’m doing the math correctly, I should be getting a tiny bit of help every week, as long as I don’t work half an hour more. (I’m actually better off NOT working a second part-time that pays little, than working my butt off at a retail job or something.) I just hope this isn’t going to last for a long time, my brother hadn’t thrown a fit at me just yet, but I knew for a fact that he did a whole lot of complaining/desperate plead/bitching to my parents. There just isn’t much I could do about it when I can’t produce more money at this time. (And unfortunately, our office didn’t win the last Power Ball jackpot.) He mentioned he’s getting an interview at the place his girlfriend works at, part of me is praying hard that he’ll get it and we could go our separate ways in life. The idea of being “homeless” actually doesn’t bother me that much…

    It seems to be a pretty terrible year so far for people around me. I’m not really blaming my boss for any of this, to be honest. He’s working hard to reach out to try to bring in more projects. On top of that, he has family issues out of the wazoo, with his sister going in and out of ICU and medically induced coma. So all we could really do is try to be patient with him when he can’t be on top of everything.

    This Valentine’s Day had also been a little more bitter for me than usual. It’s not that I expected a fancy date or anything like that (I had never celebrated it that way before), but it’s just the fact that I can’t even pick up the phone and say hello to the person I care about the most, makes me real sad.

    On the upside, tomorrow, I’m getting together with a bunch of friends to have a Hot Pot Hot Date. Kind of an after valentine’s get together where we bring everyone something VD-related. (Not to mention chocolate and flowers are cheaper!) What’s everyone doing this weekend?

    • Coffee says:

      That sounds like an awful lot of crap, chizu, and I’m sorry that you’re going through it. I’ve been in similar ruts at times in my life, and I’m sure you’ve already heard this, but the most important thing is to not let yourself get into a self-pity spiral. It’s so easy to do, and it always ends in even more hardship.

      • chizu says:

        Thanks. I am actually kind of glad all these happened because I was just in a weird spot in life — I was just kind of waiting-waiting-waiting for things to happen or pass by me. And now I actually have to think about what to do next (if something were to happen), or what do I really want to do ultimately. It is pretty scary at the beginning, to be honest, and I might go into one of those downward spiral moments every now and then… But I guess when you’re an adult, you just have to suck it up and deal with it. I guess part of me was thinking, if this happened earlier, I would have just skipped town and move in with my ex…

        • catastrophegirl chooses not to fly says:

          may you live in interesting times!

        • lovemypets00 - You'll need to forgive me, my social filter has cracked. says:

          I call it “putting on your big girl panties and moving forward”. My friends get a kick out of that.

    • lovemypets00 - You'll need to forgive me, my social filter has cracked. says:

      We played the Powerball in our office, too. No, we didn’t win. Best wishes on getting everything straightened out. Sometimes it seems like everything piles on at once. Hopefully a year from now this will be just a bad memory for you.

      • chizu says:

        Hahahaha, our best record so far was $15. We play $30 once a week (the Saturday draw), and let’s just say Lady Luck hadn’t been on our side at all. But we remain positive!

  9. MaytagRepairman says:

    I bought two cherry trees (a Ranier and a Van) last weekend and they will be delivered by the nursery today. I’ve always wanted to own a property with fruit trees even though chances are we won’t see much or any fruit. We are still making extra principal payments to a second mortgage and should be done with it 31 months from now. At that point we might try to move closer to work and family unless we are still under water.

    • Cat says:

      If you want “fast fruit” go to a nursery (even Lowes or someplace like that) this spring and get a peach tree about 4-5 feet tall. They cost about $20. We got one (a dwarf variety) 5 years ago in the spring. The next spring, we got a few quarts of peaches! And the next year, about a half bushel, and over a bushel the next year. Last year, however, the fruit didn’t set and we got nothing. Hoping for a bumper crop this year! At any rate, it’s paid for itself already.

      We also planted an apple tree (Honeycrisp!) and a cherry tree at the same time. Last year, we finally got a little under a half bushel of sweet apples. The cherry tree didn’t fare as well. The first spring it flowered like mad, but no fruit set. The next spring, not so many flowers, no fruit set, and it slowly started to drop leaves, and was dead before we could ever figured out why at the end of summer. This year, I’m planting a pear tree where the cherry stood, and I’m going with some “bush” type cherries as a border planting nearby. Also planting some hazelnuts, too.

      So I hope you have better luck with cherries than we did. I love fruit trees: I figure if I have to buy a tree, water it, and take care of it, it damn well better give something in return!

      • InsertPithyNicknameHere says:

        That is probably the only thing I miss now that I live in an apartment instead of a house – I can’t have a garden any more. But it sounds like you have an excellent plan, Cat.

        • Cat says:

          Container gardening? At least some tomatoes and leaf lettuce for a nice fresh salad.

          • catastrophegirl chooses not to fly says:

            i’m planning to try growing a lettuce in my kitchen and just taking off a few leaves at a time and letting the plant continue. have you ever done that and did it work?

      • MaytagRepairman says:

        When June rolls around we usually go through 5-10 lbs of cherries from the farmers markets. The down side of cherry trees are that they need good prunning practices, many of them require cross pollination, and I understand a flock of birds can strip a tree down in half an hour. I have dwarf varities that I hope I can keep pruned to the point I can still getting netting over them to keep the birds away.

        I tried planting blueberry bushes a couple of years ago. I read every possible thing about them to insure they would be happy. Three out of four of them died the first month. The fourth one is ok but with nobody to cross pollinate with, it is limited. The neighbors cut down their rhodies the year I planted them but they grew back with a vengence blocking some of the light to the remaining bush. I may try to transplant it to a sunnier spot in the yard and buy some new bushes in a couple of weeks.

    • catastrophegirl chooses not to fly says:

      i’m hoping to eventually buy the vacant lot next door and put in apples, pears and plums. pears and plums actually grow wild where i am so they should do well.
      hope your cherry trees thrive

  10. Kimaroo - 100% Pure Natural Kitteh says:

    WOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO!!!

    The most exciting thing to happen to me this week was that Bastien became a real Lolcat. I was looking through the lolz on my iPod app and there he was!

    http://icanhascheezburger.com/2012/02/03/funny-pictures-houdini-kitteh/

    I had uploaded that picture to make a caption on it for my own use, but I didn’t know that the site stores the pictures you use for that even if you don’t save it. He already has 31 other captions!

    • CrankyOwl says:

      In other news, Bastien now has an agent and a contract which says no one’s allowed to look him directly in the eyes.

    • InsertPithyNicknameHere says:

      Wow, Bastien is now Internet Famous! Is he demanding a better quality of kibble/gooshyfood yet?

      • Kimaroo - 100% Pure Natural Kitteh says:

        Not yet, but he has been trying to eat both his and Alfred’s food.

        EAT ALL THE FUDS.

    • SmokeyBacon says:

      Wow that is so cool – my cats and I are totally jealous! We had luck at Cute Overload (Virgil made the calendar on tax day a couple years ago) – you should try over there next, since he is already an lolcat he will have an in! Of course then he could go all diva on you, what with being all over the internets!

  11. IT-Princess: I work in IT, you owe me $1 says:

    Feeling down and on a rollercoaster.
    Got dumped over the weekend, which I know is for the best since I wasn’t happy anyway. Started off 2.5 months with potential but it simmered pretty quickly.

    Then this other guy was chatting with me and that seemed cool as we had similar situations, until his wife called me.

    So all that sucks. :(
    Now my phone is super quiet.

    But I have lost 38 pounds in the last 5 months and I’m about 15 pounds away to being at my weight before I got sick and on steroids.

    Boys are poopy.

    • Kimaroo - 100% Pure Natural Kitteh says:

      Boys are poopy, indeed. : /

    • Coffee says:

      How you doin’?

    • Dallas_shopper says:

      Boys ARE poopy, it’s why I don’t date anymore.

      CONGRATS on your weight loss…38 lbs is a huge accomplishment! What are you doing to celebrate?

      • IT-Princess: I work in IT, you owe me $1 says:

        The biggest celebration for me really is being able to wear all my clothes before I got sick. I wore a suit yesterday that I couldn’t button just a few months ago and now I have to wear a belt so the pants don’t fall off. I go out more now with my girlfriends and I’m not super crazy against people taking my picture now. I really lost that outgoing part of myself.
        It’s funny, I started my job in the middle of my illness, at the heaviest I ever was and now everyone compliments me and thinks I have to buy a new wardrobe.
        It’s nice to hear how skinny I am. :) But my friends know I’m not ready to stop since I have been in much better shape and I’ll get there again. Most importantly, I feel good.

        • Dallas_shopper says:

          That’s awesome :-) Feeling good and being healthy is definitely more important than a number on the scale!

    • RecordStoreToughGuy_RidesTheWarpOfSpaceIntoTheWombOfNight says:

      Indeed, boys are idiots. It is my sincere hope that you are able to find a man.

    • Cat says:

      Boys are so poopy.
      Well most of them, and they give the rest of us a bad rap. Of course, it doesn’t help that you ladies seem to be attracted to poopyheads.

      I’m so glad that I’m no longer in the single crowd, having found a girl that isn’t at all yucky. Having my hypothalamus stomped on several times before we met really sucked, though.

    • InsertPithyNicknameHere says:

      Boys are poopy. You should find yourself a nice girl.

      • Cat says:

        Seriously. If I were a woman, I’d be a lesbian.

        • IT-Princess: I work in IT, you owe me $1 says:

          No joke, I am very seriously contemplating it

          • Cantras says:

            YMMV, but let me share with you my experience in dating both. The difference between men and women in the dating world:

            If a guy hurts your feelings, he doesn’t know what he did. He honestly does not understand why it hurt your feelings that he went out with the guys last Saturday (the one day of the week that you both have off ) or went to that party with a bunch of his friends (including his ex).

            When a girl hurts your feelings, she knows it. She’s not doing it specifically to hurt your feelings (unless she’s nuts, which is a possibility) but rather she knows it will hurt your feelings and she is doing it anyway.

            Other than that it pretty much balances out. Creepy, crazy, clingy, both sides get them.

    • JennyCupcakes misses her grandson says:

      You can have your pick of the litter from JennyCupcakes OKCupid rejects!

      Farty McGee – musician who showed promise but farted a LOT on our 1st/2nd dates.
      Epic Beard Man – awesome beard but way too young and the bad kind of nerdy
      Guy Who Looked Too Much Like My Ex – besides that, he also said he didn’t lose his virginity til he was 24 and he was 26 when I met him
      Cute Guy with No Car – you’re cool but I’m not gonna pick you up every single time we wanna hang, bro, sorry
      Cute Guy with Nerdy Gaming Tattoos and Labret Piercing – FriendZone but very sweet
      Guy Who Looks Like Trey Parker but Is Seriously One of the Most Racist People I’ve Ever Met – I found this out later, thankfully, after current bf and I made it official. Baby Hitler, is that you?!

      • Straspey says:

        Ummm…I hate to say this, but –

        If you keep going to the hardware store looking to buy fruit, you’ll always get screwed.

        Another way to put it is…

        The definition of insanity – Taking the same action and expecting (or hoping for ) different results.

        Sometimes, it comes down to the choices we make — over and over again…

      • lovemypets00 - You'll need to forgive me, my social filter has cracked. says:

        A lady in my neighborhood shoots black bears with a paint gun when she sees them close to her house so she can tell if they come back or if new bears arrive.

        Too bad there can’t be some sort of marker on ex-husbands and ex-boyfriends to let other girls know they’re farty or otherwise weird or problematic. :)

  12. Straspey says:

    Friday’s Joke:

    On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20.00 for their very first lovemaking encounter.

    In his highly-aroused state, her husband readily agreed and handed her a $20 bill.

    This scenario was repeated each time they made love…for more than 30 years, with the husband thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals she needed.

    Then, one day, the wife arrived home around noon from her morning errands.

    She was surprised to find her husband sitting on the living room sofa, obviously very upset – very depressed – and very drunk.

    The woman was very concerned to see this, and asked her husband what had happened and was everything all right ?

    He explained that his employer was going through a process of corporate downsizing, and that he had been laid off.

    At the age of 59, it was highly unlikely he’d be able to find another position which paid anywhere near what he’d been earning. With a mortgage, car payments, property taxes, etc., they would be financially ruined.

    Calmly, his wife opened the desk drawer and pulled out a bank statement which she handed him. The statement showed more than thirty years of steady deposits and interest totaling nearly $1 million.

    Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued by the bank which were worth over $2 million, and informed him that they were one of the largest depositors in the bank.

    She explained that for the more than three decades, every time she had “charged” him $20 when they had sex, these holdings had multiplied and these were the results of her savings and investments.

    Faced with evidence of cash and investments worth over $3 million, her husband was so astounded he could barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out…

    “If I’d had any idea what you were doing, I would have given you ALL of my business!”

    … And that’s when she shot him.

    You know, sometimes, men just don’t know when to keep their mouths shut.

  13. Don't Bother says:

    I’ve been long-term subbing at a school since the end of November, and today is my last day. The normal teacher is coming back from his medical leave. It’s going to be hard moving on from this–I mean, yes, teaching sucks at times. But this is what I want to do with my life. And I actually like the students (who would have thought).

    I’ve said my goodbyes to almost all my classes (one more is left after lunch). What makes it more bitter sweet is they are actually sad to see me go. Many of them have asked me what I plan on doing after this week. “Will you come back and visit?? Will you be a teacher next year??”

    Now it’s back to retail hell for me. Hopefully this subbing gig is just the beginning of a career. That’s all I can hope.

    • SmokeyBacon says:

      My boyfriends mom used to teach and after she retired she subbed for one of the teachers when she was on maternity leave. She said it was so hard to go when the full time teacher came back, but the fact that the students cared and wanted to see her again reminded her that while she will miss them that she had obviously had some sort of positive impact on them – she had gotten through to them and most likely they had learned something new because of her, and that made her happy. So even though it is sad try to remember that – it sounds like you too had a positive impact on the students you had.

  14. SmokeyBacon says:

    Ok I would take any of those kittens (or all if I had room – I am such a sucker for animals who need a home). The floofy black one looks like our cat who passed away a few years ago (well, like he did as a baby).

    On a different note can I just say I had a great customer service experience this week. I had a pair of pliers (Wubbers) and the little spring thingy broke that made them open on their own. I contacted the company to purchase a replacement because I didn’t see it on the website, and honestly didn’t know if it existed. I didn’t get mad or even ask them to do anything for free – I just told them I liked their product and wanted to purchase the part to fix it if it was at all possible (and if not I would eventually just have gotten a new pair of the same kind – I know sometimes weird parts are not available so I didn’t have high expectations on it). I got an email response that same day (good service point #1) and instead of telling me the cost to get them fixed they offered to send me a new pair free of charge (good service point #2) – way more than I was looking for. They didn’t even ask for the old ones back (still usable but much harder to use now without the spring thing). Not even an offer to send a free spring thing, which that alone would have been cool of them, but replacing the whole pair – they made my “good company to buy from” list for sure, and I would recommend them for sure after that!

    • SmokeyBacon says:

      Oh, I should add that the replacement wasn’t just talk on their part – I already have them in my posession – so not only did the replace them but they did it quick.

  15. AstroPig7 says:

    So I’m back in school and I think I’m the oldest student in all of my classes. On the other hand, I’m probably also the only one with more than $20 on hand at any given time.

    • InsertPithyNicknameHere says:

      Good for you for going back to school! What are you studying?

      I just finished my last class for certification in computer forensics, and it was so odd to look around the classroom and think “dear gods, some of you were still in nappies when I graduated high school.”

      • AstroPig7 says:

        I’m an EE student. I’m burnt out in my career (10 years of IT is enough for anyone), and I want a change. I actually get along with the other students very well, so a lot of my fear is likely self-inflicted. It’s just a bit depressing when I start comparing the birth year of my classmates to milestones in my youth. My lab partner was born after the Super Nintendo was released. -_-

    • Coffee says:

      Thirty isn’t that old…I’m 32 and work at a college…people mistake me for a student all the time. Er…how old are you?

      • AstroPig7 says:

        I’m 31 and I look fairly young until someone notices the grey hair in my beard.

        • Coffee says:

          Ah…I’ve got some greys on the sides, but the beard is still red, thankfully…and I shave my head, so that’s not an issue for me. That said, I’ve never considered hitting on one of the students, so I don’t really know how “old guy” they think I am.

          I mentioned this in IT Princess’s thread, but I’ll throw it here too…I’ve got a quick G+ question for you if you don’t mind…e-mail is congress.gov@gmail.com. Thanks.

    • SmokeyBacon says:

      If it makes you feel any better I work with a girl who is going to go back to school and she is currently 44 or 45.

  16. JennyCupcakes misses her grandson says:

    Big news from me is that my dickface ex got arrested AGAIN for domestic battery (of his dad and his step-nephew) and intent to distribute alcohol to a minor. So that makes the 2nd time in 6 months that he has domestic violence charges against him.

    Meanwhile: I’ve lost almost 50 lbs, I’m dating a gorgeous MAN that I am gaga koo-koo nuts over (and he towards me… :D :D :D) and things couldn’t be going more swimmingly.

    Take THAT, society!

    • lovemypets00 - You'll need to forgive me, my social filter has cracked. says:

      Hi JennyCupcakes, good for you on the weight loss and new guy in your life. It gives hope to all of us who are existing in less than ideal situations. :)

    • catastrophegirl chooses not to fly says:

      please tell me the second time comes with more penalties for the ex?

  17. lovemypets00 - You'll need to forgive me, my social filter has cracked. says:

    Good news! My Dad’s hip replacement surgery can proceed, and we’re just waiting for it to be rescheduled! He’s hurrying to put together as much of the 76 Triumph and 56 Ford pickup as he can, and has stuff lined up to work on while he’s recovering from surgery that doesn’t involve laying on the crawler. I hope when I’m 77 I have as much ambition!

    Decluttering update: bathroom complete. Bad news: I AM A HOARDER! I have enough shampoo/conditioner for a decade. Good news: if we have a zombie outbreak, and I’m engaged in a lot of brain bashing, I will have more than enough shampoo/conditioner to wash my hair multiple times per day for years. ***but it was so cheap with coupons and CVS card and extra bucks***

    I have to say I am grateful for the 3 day weekend. I had a horrible cold all week, but had to come to work to help another coworker cover for two other people who were traveling all week. Everything seems worse when you can’t breathe, smell, or taste, or hear well. Finally today the sneezing has stopped. It could have been worse, as I had no headache or fever, so for that I’m grateful as well.

    One last thing. You guys know the Solyndra mess, where $550 million (give or take) went down the rat hole? I’ve been thinking about this, and here’s what the government could have done with the money instead:

    Spend $50,000 on 11,000 lower income home owners and install solar panels. Let’s say this saves the 11,000 homeowners $50/month on their electric bills for 20 years. This would have at least put back $132 million back into the economy over 20 years, instead of being a total loss.

    • InsertPithyNicknameHere says:

      I’m very happy for you about your dad’s hip sugery going forward. That’s excellent news! And I’m glad you’re getting over your cold. =)

      As for the shampoo/conditioner – you may want to see if your local women’s shelter could use some of those supplies, if you’ve got that much unopened. Just a thought.

      • lovemypets00 - You'll need to forgive me, my social filter has cracked. says:

        Oh, the extra stuff is definitely going to the shelter! I just have to pack it up and take it to my neighbor’s house, she runs the shelter. I was amazed at how much I amassed in a year!