Police Seek Bald Suspect In CVS Rogaine Theft

Two men walk into a pharmacy, one is bald and the other is not. They’re caught on surveillance cameras boosting some merchandise — and it seems the goods they lifted are a matter of manly pride. Cops are searching for what we’re dubbing the Long Island Rogaine Thieves.

NBC New York says the twosome entered a CVS on Long Island on Dec. 17. They scooped up three boxes of Rogaine, a hair loss product for men (we know you’ve seen the commercials) and placed them into a gift bag. Then they simply sauntered out with their loot, without stopping to pay at the register. That move is called “shoplifting.”

While police are definitely stressing the bald man thing in their search for the thieves and showing his picture in news bulletins, it’s probably more likely the non-bald man will get some benefit out of the Rogaine.

You see, we read up a bit on Rogaine, and it doesn’t appear that the topical treatment offers to “cure” baldness, just stimulate hair growth and slow the balding process. So for our bald pal, that whole shoplifting thing might’ve been a waste.

Cops say the pilfered Rogaine is worth about $150, and are offering a reward of up to $5,000 for information leading to an arrest.

Bald Man Wanted for Stealing Rogaine from Long Island Pharmacy [NBC New York]

Comments

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  1. Straspey says:

    “Police Seek Bald Suspect In CVS Rogaine Theft”

    And in other news today –

    Police seek poor suspect in bank robbery.

    Related: Police seek hungry person in supermarket theft.

    • Don't Bother says:

      This just in–Police seek bears in picnic basket theft.

      • The Porkchop Express says:

        that would be pic-i-nic basket

        • Princess Beech loves a warm cup of treason every morning says:

          Criminal: “Haha! You can’t catch me, I’m in a cave!”
          Yogi Bear: “Oh no, we bears are afraid of caves!”
          Booboo: “Oh Yogi — why are we so lame?”

  2. Straspey says:

    “Police Seek Bald Suspect In CVS Rogaine Theft”

    And in other news today –

    Police seek poor suspect in bank robbery.

    Related: Police seek hungry person in supermarket theft.

  3. Hoss says:

    Reward $5,000? They just need to search eBay for a LI Rogaine seller

    • SecretShopper: pours out a lil' liquor for the homies Wasp & Otter says:

      I like how the reward far outstrips the value of what was stolen

  4. Don't Bother says:

    Who wants to bet this story will turn up on “Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me!” during the lightning round?

  5. lovemypets00 - You'll need to forgive me, my social filter has cracked. says:

    Maybe they should show his picture as he is (bald) and then how he might look with some hair growth (if the Rogaine worked a little). :)

  6. rushevents says:

    Hey – together those guys are a “Before and After” Rogaine shot. The perfect markeing duo.

  7. u1itn0w2day says:

    I guess if there are riots over fancy Nike sneakers there can thefts of anti balding stuff. Both in name of vanity and ‘style’. All for a show because that’s what these things are for, a show. Both are turning into a Hollywood movie production just through cost alone. Doesn’t justify a thing, actually quite sad or pathetic.

  8. ReverendTed says:

    Three boxes of Rogaine are shoplifted and it becomes national news simply because the thief is bald?
    Did anyone else hear a rimshot?

  9. Sian says:

    I’ll just leave this here.

    http://weknowmemes.com/2012/02/captain-hair/

  10. mergatroy6 says:

    That bald guy looks a lot like J.B. Smoove. Maybe he was getting it for Larry?

  11. mbz32190 says:

    How is this really consumer-related news? People shoplift stuff every day (and usually more than 3 boxes of something with a high value…baby formula, razors, batteries, etc.)…is it funny because they are bald? I don’t get it or see how this is really a consumer issue.

  12. Bsamm09 says:

    Over a month old and only $150 worth of goods taken? Why is this article even posted?

  13. The Porkchop Express says:

    Maybe the guy with hair is planning on being a lycan for halloween?

  14. Phil Keeps It Real [Consumerist] says:

    Don’t look this way, I’m just starting to recede….. (yikes!)

  15. SlappyWhite says:

    Rogaine is a worthless product that preys on the fear of men losing their hair. When I started balding, I spent a good $300 or more on this crap. Of course it only works on some small percentage of men, over a long continuous usage of time (getting you to keep buying). All men hold out hope we’re in that small percentage.
    I finally realized it wasn’t me, and now sport a cue ball. Sorry Rogaine thieves, jokes on you.

  16. Princess Beech loves a warm cup of treason every morning says:

    If this investigation takes a while, he’s probably not bald anymore. Authorities should probably be looking for Sasquatch at that point.

  17. Pigfish99 the randomly insane says:

    I bet Colin Mocherie was the bald guy. He always needs rogaine. ALWAYS.

  18. jesusofcool says:

    I don’t understand. Cops will so often refuse to even try tracking down stolen bikes, laptops, other personal property etc. and they offer a $5000 reward because some idiot shoplifts $150 of Rogain.
    Not that I’m condoning shoplifting but shoplifting low value items is so common it hardly seems worth it that most these big chains have it built into their budgets.