(blue_j)
Scientists probably don’t conduct studies to promote chalupas as passive birth control. Still, young, sexually active men who want to do discourage their sperm from making them fathers may justify eating more fast food due to findings that junk food can lower the quality of sperm.
The Sun reports a study by Harvard University and a Spanish institution found that men ages 18 to 22 who ate a high amount of junk food were less fertile than others. Regardless of physical fitness, the poor eaters produced sperm that was less likely to survive on the way to egg fertilization.
A Japanese study also released this week found men who exercised moderately produce more durable sperm than those who didn’t. Rarely is there so much encouraging news for those who fear fatherhood and want to justify lounging around and munching fries.
Junk Food Makes Fit Lads Infertile [The Sun]
More From Consumerist
-
Bleak True Confessions From The Junk Mail Factory
-
Why Can’t AT&T Leave Me And My Mailbox Alone?
-
The Internet Age Has Only Made Junk Mail Smarter And More Efficient
-
When Stealing A Food Delivery Car, The Polite Thing To Do Is Finish Dropping Off Orders
-
Study Says Restricting Junk Food Sold In Schools Could Help Slow Child Obesity Rates
This is relevant to my interests.
Wasp, I knew you dug that 18 – 22 demographic.
I like them easy and stupid. Plus they taste like starbursts and Mt. Dew.
So dreamy~!
Where do I sign up?
A/S/L?
Wouldn’t you like to know?
*Pausing while trying to work ankle monitor off.*
Why yes, yes, I would.
Why don’t you find out on your own, and then let me know?
Huh, only too late do I come to find that the shields are actually fully operational.
*Shields disabled*
Whoops.
See, “shields disabled” usually means: “giving something for Wasp to creep with.”
As it stands, shields have not been disabled.
So junk food + A generic MMORPG account now = 100% birth control?
Given that they probably don’t have anyone to sleep with, I would have to agree.
More like 98% accurate.
It pretty much always has, now there’s science to back it up.
Given that it’s a common joke (and true in some cases) that male MMO addicts often prefer to continue gaming rather than experience live, in-person human contact with a willing female … yeah, having an MMORPG subscription can be pretty effective in preventing children. Until there’s a power outage.
” live, in-person human contact with a willing female”
But they still prefer contact with an unwilling female over video games?
We need to get some computers and Doritos down to the ghetto, pronto.
As someone else pointed out, less fertile does not equal INfertile. Lower Quality Sperm=Lower Quality People, the last thing we need in our inner city youth.
I shudder to think if its even possible, but I don’t like the risk.
Um. It doesn’t make them infertile … just less fertile. There is a world of difference.
Also, if men want to reduce their fertility even further, they should wear tight jeans and spend lots of time in a hot tub.
But if they really, really want to be safe … USE CONTRACEPTIVES. Because reduced fertility IS NOT infertility.
Yeah, I found that out the hard way.
At least I was married! I like to think of it as a jumpstart on life, so I won’t be one of those 60-year-old guys with a kid in High School. Now I just have to live long enough and save enough $ to enjoy my retirement, sine I’ve “front-loaded” my life. Which I’m sure will greatly reduce my lifetme earnings/success. Ah well.
Junk food makes stupid sperms.
And I was using condoms like a sucker!
…shouldn’t the taste have tipped you off?
I just like the texture.
I thought these fruit rollups were too chewy…
And I was using condoms with a Spermicidal lubricant, like a sucker! (no more need for the lubi I guess)
I knew there was a biological reason why, after three kids, I just want to sit on the couch and suck down soda and chips all day.
So basically, unhealthy food makes your bodily systems unhealthy.
And who says that we don’t have birth control for men?
Wish there was a thing.
If I could take a pill once a month to make sure my boys couldn’t swim, I’d be all about it. I’d make a terrible father at this juncture in my life, I’m not ready and I don’t want to place extra stress on my loved ones.
I find that by the time I’ve finished my eleventh courage cocktail at the bar, and I finally take off my ski mask, the whole issue of birth control becomes a moot point. The few women who still want to sleep with me are usually so horribly mutated that I suspect conception would be impossible. Also, I drink vodka and Mountain Dews and wear a thong to keep my tadpole count low, just in case.
I DO
WANNA FIGHT ABOUT IT
I’LL GET THE JELLO
I’LL GET THE VENUE, THE TICKETS; HANDLE THE MARKETING AND REFRESHMENTS IN ORDER TO CAPITALIZE ON THIS PERFORMANCE. THIS IS HOW A FREE MARKET SHOULD WORK.
WHO IS HANDLING THE COSTUMES
EDIBLE FRUIT ROLL UP BIKINIS IS WHAT I’M THINKING
JELLO, FRUIT ROLL UPS, LADIES.
SOUNDS LIKE MY BREAKFAST.
WHY ARE YOU PEOPLE TALKING ALL IN CAPS??? AAHHHHH!
ITS THE ONLY WAY I UNDERSTAND THINGS
IS JELLO GLUTEN FREE?
Something else to put on the Fruit Roll Ups package…
“New Magnum Size”?
Unroll to desired length.
Never tear open the package with your teeth.
Nice!
It’s OK honey, I’m using protection (chalupa burp).
Doritos and Mountain Dew FTW!
Okay, seriously. I’m not concerned about the fertility issue myself (I’m fixed) but when I stopped eating junk food I also had increased performance and libido. I also lost weight.
But dammit, I still love me some junk food.
Junk food. Bad for your junk?
I tried to feed junk food to my junk, but it was not hungry for junk food.
I KNEW these kids couldn’t be mine!!!
Instead of unlimited quantities of alcohol…the producers of Jersey Shore should be supplying unending caches of junk food on set.
That is why I only eat raw meat.
This is obvious. If you don’t eat healthy, your body is less healthy, including your sperm.
The best birth control is a giant pair of plastic framed glasses from the Army.
http://www.hillsdalehistoricalsociety.org/sites/default/files/styles/large/public/field/image/Hill,%20Barry%20-%20formal.jpg
Then why do trailer trash have 30 kids?
The milk man. Er…crank man (he’s rolling too hard to crave junk food).
I don’t think humanity is in any danger of extinction due to infertility.
My fiance drinks a disgusting amount of Mountain Dew. I used to give him hell about it until someone told me it could lower his sperm count.
Now I say drink away, honey.
Well hey there Natural Selection. About time your lazy ass got back from vacation.
Seriously. Is there a study on who conducts these studies?
I am gonna call BS on this considering how many people are breeding.
Correlation does not equal causation. How do they know there wasn’t something that caused poor sperm and a desire for “junk” food?