(jurvetson)

Is it a man or a robot? A robot impersonating a man? A man impersonating a robot? Such are the questions that flitted through bobbymac's head as he engaged in text-based dialogue with a Comcast customer service rep.

He was contacting Comcast because his cable tv had been out for 3 months. It was working fine until they made him upgrade and rent a digital conversion box, which both cost more and didn't work. Now he was involved in a typically annoying conversation full of cut and pasted conversation. The transcript is an amusing read. Bobbymac manages to be both completely pissed off and super polite at the same time. A selection:

Robert: I will repeat my question:

Robert: Does the problem I describe sound familiar to you?

Robert: Here is the problem, which I also will repeat:

Robert: I have cable TV and Internet service. Internet is flawless. Cable TV has not worked for three months. It tells me that every channel I select "will be available momentarily." Sometimes, the channel flickers in for 30 seconds or less.

WilburCCBV: The "will be available momentarily" is a common problem for cable service.

Robert: The problem began only after Comcast forced me to rent a digital converter box and raised the price of my monthly bill. Now I pay more for service that does not work, and by your account is a common problem. That is bad for business, but good for Comcast investors.

Robert: Having said that, my account number is:

Robert: xxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxx

WilburCCBV: Thank you for the information.

WilburCCBV: Allow me to pull up your account.

WilburCCBV: Did you know you can watch many of your favorite TV shows and movies online at no additional cost with Comcast. Check out www.xfinitytv.com to watch the latest TV shows, relive a favorite television moment, or just relax with a movie.

WilburCCBV: May I know the full name of the account holder?

Robert: Robert xxxxxxxxx

WilburCCBV: Thank you.

Robert: I am dismayed by the fact that you are making me read advertising messages in this conversation when I am dissatisfied with your service. Tell Brian Roberts that I don't like that.

WilburCCBV: Robert, are you getting the same message in every channels?

Robert: yes, every channel

WilburCCBV: Can you please unplug the cable box from the power outlet for 30 seconds and plug it back again to refresh your connection.

Robert: Are you human?

WilburCCBV: Yes, Robert.

Robert: It is difficult to ascertain this.

My frustrating Comcast customer service chat [bobbymacReports] (Thanks to Chris!)