A Tearful Breakup Letter To The Credit Card Company

Jon Acuff cut up all his credit cards and cancelled all his accounts. He thought was enough to end his relationship with his credit card company. But one of them wasn’t quite ready to move on. They sent him a letter that was oddly close to something a spurned lover begging for another chance might send. “They hadn’t heard from us in a while and just wanted to see how we were doing, writes Jon. “They promised that they’d change if we took them back. Things would be different this time.” That got Jon thinking that he should write a letter back in the same vein to give their relationship total closure.

So he came up with this form letter as a tool for officially dumping your credit card:

Dear (NAME OF CARD),

Wow, I don’t really know where to begin. We’ve had some good times, haven’t we? Remember that vacation I took you on? We had so much fun in (LOCATION). It wouldn’t have been the same if you hadn’t been there and had my back. And who can forget the time you helped me pay my (NAME OF BILL). That was a lifesaver!

But a few months later, I felt confused and hurt when you asked me for all that money back, plus 20% interest. I thought we had something special. I thought what we had was true. But now that I look back on it, for you, our entire relationship was about money. And it feels really one-sided. I give and I give and I give, and you just take, take, take. Sure, you give me small gifts here and there that you call “rewards,” but even those I have to “earn.”

I can’t live this way. I feel like I don’t even know you anymore. I want you out of my house, out of my life, and most importantly, out of my wallet.

I’ve found somebody else. Somebody I can trust. Somebody without hidden motives or hidden fees. He’s simple but honest. Hardworking and true. I found someone who really cares about me and isn’t into playing games.

I’m dating cash.

Don’t call me anymore. I don’t want you or your empty promises of frequent flyer miles. It’s over.

Don’t walk away mad. Just walk away, credit card… just walk away.

(YOUR NAME)

Write a Break-Up Letter to Your Credit Cards [Dave Ramsey] (Thanks to Jeff!)