Man Says Penis Enlarger Never Worked, Even After 500 Hours Of Use

What with all that free healthcare and those easygoing natures up north in Canada, there’s not much to get upset about. So why not sue over a penis enlarger to stir stuff up?

A Quebec man says that even though he used the penis enlarger in question for 500 hours total, it never worked. Imagine spending that much time with something that is doing absolutely nothing!

He’s going before small-claims court, trying to get $762 in moral and punitive damages and to cover the cost of the tool in question, the $262 X4 Extender Deluxe Edition, says the Chronicle Herald.

With all those apparently wasted hours behind him, the man told a paper in Granby, Que., that he was speaking out so that other men wouldn’t make the same mistake he had. A judge is expected to rule on the case in the next month and a half.

We’ve got to thank Consumerist reader Rhonda W. for her attention to such important legal battles.

Penis enlarger case in small-claims court [The Chronicle Herald]

Comments

Edit Your Comment

  1. MaliBoo Radley says:

    Uh huh.

  2. Daverson says:

    LOL, “small” claims indeed.

  3. HighontheHill says:

    I believe he was simply using it incorrectly. I have one of these and my penis is now ridiculously girthy, too girthy in fact, I am looking for a home penis girth reduction kit now….

    • pawnblue says:

      It’s also possible he wants to discredit this extremely reputable industry in an attempt to be the only guy he knows with such an enormous Harold. Keeps the competition down. Once word of mouth spreads, he’ll have the ladies lined up.

  4. MeowMaximus says:

    The plaintiff’s name is Richard Smallwood…

  5. sufreak says:

    In related news, bracelets will not reduce your waistline.

  6. Cheap Sniveler: Sponsored by JustAnswer.comâ„¢ says:

    One Swedish made penis enlarger pump.
    Austin Powers: That’s not mine!
    One credit card receipt for Swedish made penis enlarger…signed by Austin Powers.
    Austin Powers: I’m tellin you baby, that’s not mine!
    One warranty card for Swedish made penis enlarger pump…filled out by Austin Powers.
    Austin Powers: I don’t even know what this is! This sort of thing ain’t my bag, baby!
    One book….”Swedish Made Penis Enlarger Pumps and Me: This Sort of Thing is my Bag, Baby!”, by Austin Powers.

  7. full.tang.halo says:

    Um I can see giving a product ample time to work, but 500 hours? really?

    • evnmorlo says:

      If you wanted to double the size of your belly it would probably take at least that long

    • LatinoGeek says:

      Assuming he was pumping non-stop (even in his sleep), 500 hours is a little more than 20 days, or approximately 3 weeks. Or more realistically, assuming he used it 1 hour a day, every day, then it’s 1 year, 4 months, and 13 days.

    • KeithIrwin says:

      Well, it looks to be a harness that you put on and it stretches your penis rather than a pump. So he could well wear it in his sleep or while doing other things. So 500 hours of wearing the harness thing could well only be wearing it in his sleep for two months.

  8. Fubish says: I don't know anything about it, but it seems to me... says:

    500 hours. The mind boggles…

  9. ovalseven says:

    It’s a penis-stretching device. That explains the 500 hours of use.

    http://www.amazon.com/X4-Labs-Deluxe-Penis-Extender/dp/B0040HS81C

    • ovalseven says:

      Perfect. I should have logged out before searching for that. Now Amazon thinks I’m interested in that sort of product.

    • stormbird says:

      I am NOT going to click that link. I shudder at the ‘items similar to what you looked at’ would be.

      • jdandison says:

        Not to mention the ‘People who bought this ALSO bought…’ – two of the top 10 are video games.

        The ‘customers also viewed these items’ is enlightening, seems this company also makes ‘Starter’ and ‘Gold’ editions.

  10. Snowblind says:

    “stir stiffs up”

    Fixed for ya

  11. RandomHookup says:

    Not sure I’d want to be involved in the discovery process on this case.

  12. Blueskylaw says:

    But did it feel good?

  13. PadThai says:

    I say give him the $762.

  14. Hoss says:

    Is he disputing that he didn’t get enlarged when using it?

  15. Papa Bear says:

    I want to know how he is going to prove it didn’t work. Is he going to show the court before and after pictures?

  16. CrankyOwl says:

    For some bizarre Freudian reason, I read the name of the newspaper this story is from as the Tool Herald.

  17. jcargill says:

    I don’t think anyone is shocked that a penis pump doesn’t work.
    I think we’re all shocked that someone came forward to admit they bought and tried it.

  18. Griking says:

    Hey, as ridiculous as it is a scam is a scam and I applaud him for having the guts to sue over it.

  19. u1itn0w2day says:

    uh… perhaps 500 hundred hours of no use is the solution to his problem.

    Ironically his case in being heard in SMALL claims court……

  20. aka_mich says:

    I foresee all the single ladies of Quebec absolutely flocking to the court house for this one.

  21. Hotscot says:

    “A judge is expected to rule on the case in the next month and a half.”

    Doesn’t the Judge in small claims rule almost immediately? Just wondering.

    • El_Red says:

      Usually you need to wait, until judge sees you, once you submit your suit. Depending on the province, a month or more.

  22. davidsco says:

    what a tool

  23. topgun says:

    But will the evidence stand up in court?

    • Cheap Sniveler: Sponsored by JustAnswer.comâ„¢ says:

      Well, you can put it in the hands of your attorney, but…

      • Thassodar says:

        If he let the lawyer handle it alone the judge may stiffen up and lay down the law in three short thrusts. Thrusts of the law.

  24. TomL says:

    Zut alors! It doesn’t say how many months it took him to log 500 hours in this device. I would hope his suit included the cost of all the wasted tubes of lube he used. He *did* use lube, didn’t he? Ow!

    “There are no small parts, only small actors – or small actors’ parts” – Dick Johnson

  25. yessongs says:

    Hey when you have small equipment you have small equipment. Get over it!

  26. yessongs says:

    I bet he was cockold over the whole experience.

  27. UnicornMaster says:

    When is Consumer Reports going to do a product comparison on Penis Enlargers?

  28. PupJet says:

    500 Hours Breakdown

    @ 24 hours of continuous use = 20.833~ days or 2.97 weeks
    @ 8 hours of continuous use = 62.5 days or 8.92 weeks
    @ .5 hours (30 minutes) of use = 1000 days or 142.85 weeks (2.97 years)
    @ .25 hours (15 minutes) of use = 2000 days or 285.71 weeks (5.95 years)

    Recommended use is approx 15-30 minutes of use each day depending on model/variety.

    Something tells me he was not using it accordingly.

  29. RandomHookup says:

    I would expect all the US courtroom shows to fight over this one. It’s worth Judge Judy and all the others boning up (sorry) on Canadian law to make it happen.

  30. bethshanin says:
  31. ZIMMER! says:

    wow that’s deep!
    Oh wait nope don’t feel it, are you in yet?
    Perhaps it was the suck, he could not let it go for 500 hours.
    Small claims, is that not why he bought the sucker?

    I could keep going….

  32. semanticantics says:

    I’m confused. Did he get shafted or not?

  33. Me - now with more humidity says:

    heh-heh… you wrote “tool” 8-)

  34. Chaosium says:

    From what I know of errrr blood flow, it’s going to enlarge the member in question, only not permanently. If their marketing indicated that it made permanent changes, they should be fined. Otherwise, this dude is deluding himself.

  35. selmorestuff says:

    I’m concerned for Rhonda W.
    Imagine her alerts. IE. penis, enlarger, stretch, sucking machine, peter pumper

  36. FrugalFreak says:

    I agree, don’t state is is sold under medical with medical benefits because there are those that depend on those benefits rely on them. Somebody that needs that actual benefit, would be the one harmed.

  37. stormbird says:

    The reporter* must have probed deeply to uncover the facts in this case.

    *The reporter’s mom must be so proud.

  38. Yo Howdy says:
  39. Telekinesis123 says:

    Well he’s certainly got big balls for coming out an complaining about this (knuk).

  40. NOXIUS says:

    I didn’t know Rush Limbaugh was Canadian?

  41. AmPriS says:

    This works off the concept of tissue expansion, it should theoretically work.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tissue_expansion

  42. RobofNYC says:

    You need to give it more time – another 500-1000 hours and I guarantee you will notice the difference.

    Signed
    “The President of Penis Enlarger, Inc.”

  43. gman863 says:

    After 500 hours, he should give himself a hand.

  44. darcmosch says:

    I am shocked and appalled that this does not work! Next you’re gonna tell me the male enhancement pills do not in fact enhance?!

  45. Nevada Scribbler says:

    Nobody can accuse him of stretching the truth.

  46. Mike says:

    First of all, it takes at least 600 hours for results. Second of all, he paid way too much. You can get the X6 extender for $159, and it is the next model up. It has more ummm, extension?

    Seriously though, who goes to court over something like this? Sorry but if I had a problem with a sex toy, the last thing I want is for my problem to be enshrined in court documents and read by law school students for years to come.