Here’s what I’ve learned today from stock photos: I’ve never watched myself eating chocolate, but apparently I’m making a sexy face while I’m doing it. When I eat salad, I probably laugh, even if I’m alone.
The Hairpin has a round-up of excellent examples of the mysterious but well-documented salad laughing phenomenon and Slate has a slideshow of sexy chocolate. Enjoy. I’ll be eating yogurt in a gray hoodie.
Sex and Candy [Slate]
Women Laughing Alone With Salad [Hairpin]
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you’re never alone with a stalker and a camera.
I am not a woman but I do make sexy faces and make suggestive gestures when I eat the following: Puffed Cheetos, Spaghetti, Lucky Charms, Neapolitan Ice Cream (half gallon), Minestrone, Gummy Bears, Ramen Noodles, Whoppers, and Chicken McNuggets. I actually have a video on YouTube if anyone is interested.
What is a “sexy face” for a man? Like a Zoolander thing?
“Who cares about Derek Zoolander anyway? The man has only one look, for Christ’s sake! Blue Steel? Ferrari? Le Tigra? They’re the same face!”
And lest we forget, it’s hard for a woman not to look sexy when she’s eating a banana.
I saw a woman in a coffee shop once choking on a banana. She was all gasping for air and I’m like come on, that’s not sexy. Ruined it completely for me.
She was choking on it because it was so big and hard!!
What if she eats it like corn?
Fine. As Long as she doesn’t eat corn. Not sexy.
You don’t win friends with salad. You don’t win friends with salad
Conga line!
I used to make noises that suggested sexual arousal (according to an ex-girlfriend) when eating brown sugar glazed carrots.
I cry when I eat salad and look like a zombie when I eat chocolate.
The only way you can get anyone to eat a salad is to convince them it makes you happy.
I drop my pants while drinking.
Well, get a camera and a Toblerone, and let us be the judges!
Seconded!
Don’t forget the usual:
“I am really, really interested in this computer monitor’s blank screen”
I thought the “happy black women shopping” comment in the salad article was even better:
http://img411.imageshack.us/img411/7092/gettyisnuts.jpg
http://img211.imageshack.us/img211/2325/gettyisreallynuts.jpg
As a man, salads make me cry, and all other foods make me smile.
Stonyfield Chocolate Underground Yogurt, Meg.
Ok, so now I’m going to be self-conscious when I eat a Dark Milk Chocolate Banana Baby. But somehow I don’t think I look all that sexy trying to eat a frozen banana, even if it is shaped like a penis and covered in chocolate. And yes, I do have them in my freezer, they are yummy! (banana babies!)
http://www.dianasbananas.com/our-products/
Well, eat ‘em while you can because that Cavendish wilt thing will probably kill off the supply.
Don’t forget that eating yogurt makes you exhibit the obsessiveness of Gollum, leading you to smack the empty container up against your mouth so you can get every last low-cal drop!
meg marco is sexy period, does not require eating anything.
You also do all of your online banking on a laptop in your pajamas, on the floor or in bed.