Women Laugh Alone With Salad, But Chocolate Makes Us Sexy

Here’s what I’ve learned today from stock photos: I’ve never watched myself eating chocolate, but apparently I’m making a sexy face while I’m doing it. When I eat salad, I probably laugh, even if I’m alone.

The Hairpin has a round-up of excellent examples of the mysterious but well-documented salad laughing phenomenon and Slate has a slideshow of sexy chocolate. Enjoy. I’ll be eating yogurt in a gray hoodie.

Sex and Candy [Slate]
Women Laughing Alone With Salad [Hairpin]

Comments

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  1. c!tizen says:

    you’re never alone with a stalker and a camera.

  2. stint7 says:

    I am not a woman but I do make sexy faces and make suggestive gestures when I eat the following: Puffed Cheetos, Spaghetti, Lucky Charms, Neapolitan Ice Cream (half gallon), Minestrone, Gummy Bears, Ramen Noodles, Whoppers, and Chicken McNuggets. I actually have a video on YouTube if anyone is interested.

    • Alvis says:

      What is a “sexy face” for a man? Like a Zoolander thing?

      • Platypi {Redacted} says:

        “Who cares about Derek Zoolander anyway? The man has only one look, for Christ’s sake! Blue Steel? Ferrari? Le Tigra? They’re the same face!”

  3. Cheap Sniveler: Sponsored by JustAnswer.comâ„¢ says:

    And lest we forget, it’s hard for a woman not to look sexy when she’s eating a banana.

  4. rpm773 says:

    You don’t win friends with salad. You don’t win friends with salad

  5. Bativac says:

    I used to make noises that suggested sexual arousal (according to an ex-girlfriend) when eating brown sugar glazed carrots.

    I cry when I eat salad and look like a zombie when I eat chocolate.

  6. Loias supports harsher punishments against corporations says:

    The only way you can get anyone to eat a salad is to convince them it makes you happy.

  7. ALP5050 says:

    I drop my pants while drinking.

  8. Murph1908 says:

    Well, get a camera and a Toblerone, and let us be the judges!

  9. Gman says:

    Don’t forget the usual:
    “I am really, really interested in this computer monitor’s blank screen”

  10. Johnny Longtorso says:

    I thought the “happy black women shopping” comment in the salad article was even better:

    http://img411.imageshack.us/img411/7092/gettyisnuts.jpg
    http://img211.imageshack.us/img211/2325/gettyisreallynuts.jpg

  11. dolemite says:

    As a man, salads make me cry, and all other foods make me smile.

  12. haggis for the soul says:

    Stonyfield Chocolate Underground Yogurt, Meg.

  13. momtimestwo says:

    Ok, so now I’m going to be self-conscious when I eat a Dark Milk Chocolate Banana Baby. But somehow I don’t think I look all that sexy trying to eat a frozen banana, even if it is shaped like a penis and covered in chocolate. And yes, I do have them in my freezer, they are yummy! (banana babies!)

    http://www.dianasbananas.com/our-products/

  14. JulesNoctambule says:

    Don’t forget that eating yogurt makes you exhibit the obsessiveness of Gollum, leading you to smack the empty container up against your mouth so you can get every last low-cal drop!

  15. f5alcon says:

    meg marco is sexy period, does not require eating anything.

  16. brianary says:

    You also do all of your online banking on a laptop in your pajamas, on the floor or in bed.