Hot Pockets Is Now Its Own Food Group

Reader Chris spotted this sign in a Keli’s supermarket yesterday where they have the usual aisle signs that say “frozen foods,” desserts,” and “vegetables,” but it appears that “Hot Pockets” is now its own type of food group. We don’t blame them, we’re not exactly sure in what category you would classify a Hot Pocket either.

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  1. nbs2 says:

    Perhaps they are a popular frozen food item or the band is about to turn the corner on the genericization of microwavable hot filled savory pastries?

  2. foofish says:

    Old. My grocery store’s had such a sign for years.

    • Rebecca K-S says:

      Yeah, I’ve seen that and similar “Brand As Category” (specific examples of which I of course can’t recall currently) signs in several stores.

    • TasteyCat says:

      Only old if you submitted your sign to Consumerist. You did not I assume.

  3. pecan 3.14159265 says:

    I’m guessing that Chris lives in a place where a lot of people really, really love Hot Pockets, can’t figure out where they are (usually the frozen foods/prepared meals section), and the staff is tired of telling them where to go.

  4. Cheap Sniveler: Sponsored by JustAnswer.comâ„¢ says:

    *The beer food group,
    *The pizza food group,
    *The hot pocket food group.

    Sounds right to me.

    *Soon to be incorporated into the USDA food pyramid

  5. dolemite says:

    Reminds me of elementary school. We were going over the food groups and nutrition, and the teacher asked us all to write down the “perfect food” that would satisfy all nutritional needs, then she left the room. Everyone was trying to think of the perfect food, and I said “Pizza! Crust = Bread/grains group. Cheese = Milk/dairy. Sauce = veggies and pepperoni = meat group”. We all agreed upon that with satisfaction and were dismayed when the teacher stated there is no perfect food and laughed.

    • hotdogsunrise says:

      Sounds like you had one winner of a teacher there.

    • Murph1908 says:

      Bill Cosby would add that cake is a near-perfect food.
      Eggs, flour, and milk.

      “Dad is great.”

      “Give us chocolate cake”

      • pythonspam says:

        But you need something to drink with that… something breakfast…
        Grapefruit Juice!!! (This is not your child.)

    • Back to waiting, but I did get a cute dragon ear cuff says:

      I always voted for the 7-11 Chili Cheese dog, but the meat group is the one in question there.

  6. Bativac says:

    Wow, this one is a shocker.

    Every grocery store locally has had sections including “ice cream,” “frozen pizza” and “breakfast meats” for many years. Those aren’t food groups either.

    Have you seen how many different varieties of Hot Pockets there are? They probably needed their own section.

    • ChuckECheese says:

      Hot Pockets need their own country.

      • Bativac says:

        Some of the Lean Pockets my wife buys aren’t too bad, if you enjoy hot salty “goo” of indeterminate origin surrounded by tough chewy bread product.

        I say “my wife” because if I’m shopping I just buy the ingredients to prepare the actual food item that the Pocket of Hotness is mimicking.

    • Blueskylaw says:

      The reason for the variety is so they get more shelf space.

    • Cheap Sniveler: Sponsored by JustAnswer.comâ„¢ says:

      “ice cream,” “frozen pizza” and “breakfast meats” for many years. Those aren’t food groups either.”

      But these are “generic” product categories. “Hot Pockets” is a specific BRAND. How many signs would be over the pizza freezers if they were identified by brand name?

      “Hot Pockets are microwaveable turnovers usually containing a combination of cheese, meat, and vegetables. Hot Pockets are currently produced by Nestlé internationally.”

      I have to wonder if Nestlé paid for that signage?

      • Kitamura says:

        On the other hand, the generic versions are probably underneath the same sign. Putting a sign over them that said “Microwaveable Turnovers” would probably confuse people.

  7. spazztastic says:

    My store has signs for Hot Pockets, Frozen Pizza, Peanut Butter, and Pop Tarts. Either they’re popular items that people want to find quickly, or in the case of Hot Pockets and Pop Tarts, perhaps they’re being paid.

    • RickScarf says:

      Ding ding ding, this sounds like the correct answer. Product placement is big business in grocery stores and oodles of money are spent on things like aisle-cap stations and premium signage.

  8. cmdr.sass says:

    Is that one of those upscale Arkansas grocery stores I’ve been hearing about?

  9. Mike says:

    I like my hot pockets to be like molten lava on the outside, and still frozen on the inside. MMMMMMM.

    • Verucalise (Est.February2008) says:

      “Is your hot pocket cold in the middle?”
      -It’s frozen. But it can be served boiling lava hot.
      “…Will it burn my mouth?”
      -It’ll destroy your mouth.”

      Hoooot pocket. It’s good, not as catchy as your “By Menen”.

      (I love hot pockets. I would live on them if I could.)

  10. Kimaroo - 100% Pure Natural Kitteh says:
  11. AustinTXProgrammer says:

    I’ve never thought of those signs as food groups. Some might even say “potatoes”. Honestly I had to double check the byline, this seems like a Phil article to me.

  12. Jonesey says:

    Vegetarian Hot Pockets—for those who don’t eat meat but still want diarrhea!

  13. Reading_Comprehension says:

    Jim Gaffigan approves….sort of

  14. coren says:

    I’m surprised by the fact that it took this long to get into the Jim Gaffigan reference comments, but it warms my heart to see so many of them.

    I’ll be ordering the beefaroni.

  15. duncanblackthorne says:

    Hot Pockets would be part of the little-known but still ubiquitous “worthless fattening crap” food group.

  16. Blow a fuse? I can fix that... says:

    My local supermarket has a pickled fish aisle.

  17. KeithIrwin says:

    Hot Pockets are a pastry crust with a filling inside. They are pies. Because they are small and made by wrapping the filling completely in dough, they could also be called turnovers. So, if you want to categorize hot pockets, there are two options which you could use right away: turnover or pies (you could say “meat and vegetable pies” if you want to be sure to avoid confusion with the sweeter pies).

  18. Johnny Longtorso says:

    Personally, I don’t think they should be sold next to food, lest people be confused and eat them by mistake.

  19. dilbert69 says:

    The best aisle sign I’ve ever seen was in my local Walgreen’s:

    NUTRITIONAL
    INCONTINENCE

    I’m pretty sure those were meant to be two separate categories, but “nutritional incontinence” sounds like the medical term for “eating everything, all the time, whether you’re hungry or not.” I should know; I’m a long-time sufferer.

    • AnthonyC says:

      Reminds me of the take-out menu from “Wings Over,” an (excellent) airplane-themed wings chain/franchise. They say “Not the processed frozen junk.”

      Except in all caps, over two lines:
      NOT THAT PROCESSED
      FROZEN JUNK