(Ben Zvan)
While the TSA is busy rolling out full-body scanners and grope-y pat-down procedures, the agency still hasn’t managed to actually stop people from slipping onto airplanes with deadly weapons.
Take for instance the story of Consumerist reader Steve, whose 6-inch hunting knife went unnoticed by all involved:
On my way to Chicago for business this past week the TSA missed the six inch hunting knife in my coat pocket while they busied themselves wanding my crotch and checking my hands for powder residues.
The knife was a gift from an outdoorsman friend and I forgot it was in my jacket pocket. In fact, it was the only thing in my pocket. I came across it when I buckled my seat belt!
So let this be a lesson to you all. Since the TSA is apparently remiss in doing its job, you will need to pre-screen yourself before boarding the plane.
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FACT: no one’s ever taken a plane over with just a 6″ hunting knife.
box cutters, sure, but not a 6″ hunting knife.
you stay classy, tsa.
Here’s an anonymous account of a US Army soldier returning from Afghanistan who watched as his buddies — who were all carrying high-powered rifles, pistols, etc — were forced to surrender their nail-clippers and multi-tools:
So we’re in line, going through one at a time. One of our Soldiers had his Gerber multi-tool. TSA confiscated it. Kind of ridiculous, but it gets better. A few minutes later, a guy empties his pockets and has a pair of nail clippers. Nail clippers. TSA informs the Soldier that they’re going to confiscate his nail clippers. The conversation went something like this:
TSA Guy: You can’t take those on the plane.
Soldier: What? I’ve had them since we left country.
TSA Guy: You’re not suppose to have them.
Soldier: Why?
TSA Guy: They can be used as a weapon.
Soldier: [touches butt stock of the rifle] But this actually is a weapon. And I’m allowed to take it on.
TSA Guy: Yeah but you can’t use it to take over the plane. You don’t have bullets.
Soldier: And I can take over the plane with nail clippers?
TSA Guy: [awkward silence]
Me: Dude, just give him your damn nail clippers so we can get the f**k out of here. I’ll buy you a new set.
Soldier: [hands nail clippers to TSA guy, makes it through security]
This might be a good time to remind everyone that approximately 233 people re-boarded that plane with assault rifles, pistols, and machine guns-but nothing that could have been used as a weapon.
A sorta similar thing happened to me a few years ago. The X-Ray machine picked up something suspicious in my bag so it hand-screened. The screener couldn’t find anything, so she ran the bags through the machine again. Again, she saw something suspicious and proceeded to take everything out of my bag. She opened up my overnight case, laid out my toiletries, looked inside my deodorant container, went as far as to open up a condom box to look inside (and left it sitting out for all to see.) Still, she couldn’t find anything. She called over 2 other TSA employees and they all applied the same diligence but couldn’t find anything. They ran it through the X-Ray again, still saw something suspicious, and after much discussion, they just let me board the plane. The whole process took about 30 minutes. It was only when I got to my destination that I realized I had a 6″ pocketknife stuck in one of my bag’s pockets. I had honestly forgotten it was even there. I felt like kind a jackass for being so upset with them, but still — shouldn’t they have found that thing?
When I moved to Atlanta, I had to take apart my bicycle to ship it. By mistake, I ended up with my 15″ pedal wrench in my carry-on and it got through security. Mind you, you could club someone unconscious with a full-sized pedal wrench pretty easily.
Meanwhile, every other time I go through that same airport, a smaller (flight-legal) bike wrench that I keep in my messenger bag always gets me searched. And then they TSA takes out their ruler, measures it, and realizes that I can, in fact, legally carry it on. Instills me with great confidence if any terrorist chooses to fly through there.