Forget that racist Domino’s delivery slip or that Kroger receipt long enough to have a ticker-tape parade. The freebie offer on this receipt from Sonic takes the cake.
In an apparent move to compete with other fast food giveaways, this Sonic is now offering a “free Harry Hines (as in Harry Hines Blvd. in Dallas) hooker” with the purchase of a Sonic burger.
Additionally, the fast food joint is offering “complimentary BJs and rim jobs with this receipt.” Not that we know what either of those are.
But if you like shellfish, you might want to go somewhere else because this is a “no crab zone.”
It’s not just good… it’s Sonic good. [Reddit]
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Just remember friends will help you move. Great friends will help you move a body. Just something to keep in mind with the free hooker.
“Nothing to worry about sir, just a Code 10-82.”
“Aw Jesus, again Ben?”
“Noo, noo I wans’t WITH a hooker last night..”
Buuulllshit! I wasnt with a hooker today! Ha!
BEN YOU WERE DA BOMB IN PHANTOMS!
Word b***h phantoms like a mother f****r!
A movie about Bluntman and Chronic? Who would watch that?
*glance at the camera*
Yeah, they say “free” but I bet they still nickel and dime you with fine print and hidden fees.
You know they want a credit card for the “free trial” LOL.
More adolescent dweebs thinking they’re funny and/or cool. Obviously the BK guy getting fired didn’t sway this guy at all; either that, or he never saw the story at all.
Also dude, ‘Hooker’ is not the preferred nomenclature. ‘Professional Lady’, please.
I prefer “woman of negotiable virtue”.
Ladies of negotiable affection. Alternately, seamstresses.
“My father always said call a spade a spade, but always call a whore a lady. Their lives are hard enough, and it never hurts to be kind.”
-Patrick Rothfuss, The Name of the Wind
“Lady of the Night”
Makes them sound exotic and mysterious.
If he’s a grand master pimp, why is he working at Sonic? Must be a regional manager or something.
I’m sure he’s terrified he’s going to loose his $5.65/hr job. TERRIFIED.
This made my afternoon. LoL.
Thanks for the laughs, Consumerist.
thanks for the laughs, reddit.
ftfy.
I think these are hilarious, a sense of humor makes life much nicer than a puritanical sense of entitlement.
I enjoy a good dirty joke as much as the next guy.
But there’s a time and a place for them, and anyone who doesn’t realize that is either immature or an idiot, 4 and 5 syllable words not withstanding.
This seems like a pretty good time and place for this sort of humor.
Is this code for “you’re a Puritan if you don’t have the sense of humor of a seventh-grader”?
ALL THAT FOR 5 DOLLARS?!
WOW! THAT’S A LOW PRICE!
Also, insert showing your receipt joke here.
Show your receipt or i’ll use my grand master pimp stick
Looks like. Makes me question the “crab-free zone” claims…
Yea, well, go to Harry Hines Blvd, take a look at the “professional ladies”, and you’ll realize two things.. first, you’re way overpaying if you paid 5 bucks, and second, that is certainly NOT a crab-free, disease-free zone. But hey, it IS free… LOL
Grand master pimp is mah daddy.
If you order coffee, you also get half-and-half for free.
I prefer the full body latte @ starbucks
Well played, sir!
I’ve seen this before. It’s what prints out when you order a Foot-long Chili Dog.
imma check the internetz for the hooker coupon code, so i can skip the burger.
The receipts will soon be for sale on eBay & Craigslist.
So I take it that the Rim Jobs aren’t for the wheels on my car 8)
Just Google it, I am sure you will see what it is.
Is there any evidence to show that this receipt was actually issued by a real Sonic restaurant? Many people have easy access to thermal printers – at my workplace, I could print anything I want on thermal ticket stock.
This sounds more like some one was reprogramming the message of the day on the register and printed off some “funny” receipts.
Of course, this is the sort of thing that could easily result in the accidental release of the message, but has anyone (who is not an employee at the restaurant) claimed that they really were issued the receipt?
Wish that was my receipt. Priceless. Of course we will expect the employee who did it to be fired, but who didn’t see that coming?
Man, that’s a steal. I thought it was a good deal with just the burger fries and coke and BJ.
You can create a fake receipt online in seconds, it’s funny but hardly original:
http://www.customreceipt.com/
OR HERE..etc..
http://www.smileygenerator.us/fake_receipt/index.php
And we thought those were for IRS entertainment only
All I need is the right paper for my printer and I’ll be handing my number to girls on the back of $300,000 receipts for, I dunno, top hats and monocles, whatever rich people buy.
$65,000 iphone 4 case made from T-Rex tooth and coated in DIAMONDS.
Okay, I’m having HIS babies.
They buy nothing but top hats and monocles. Oh, and white spats.
But will the hooker ask to see your receipt?
I make my own hookers at home.
You win at Consumerist.
so does kris kardashian
The burger and frys, I can eat.
This is really sexist, what the hell am I going to do with a hooker, use her to keep my coffee warm??
Men can be hookers too…
It’s not so much sexist as charmingly naive.
Damn, that is close to me. Gonna have to check it out tomorrow.Disease free and on the house + bacon!
This had to have been a Black Friday deal.
I hope this is real, because it is awesome. It would make my day, even as a pregnant married soccer mom. Wait- is this offer transferable? Because this could be a good gift for the weird but friendly neighbor upstairs…
Nothing says, “sorry I’m about to have a crying baby in the building” like a free hooker…
Don’t forget to tip your free hooker…
BS. If I am going to her (as opposed to her coming to me) there is no tip for “carryout”.
I think you’ll be the only one coming anywhere.
What’s 20% of zero?
Prove it.
Many have Photoshopping skills adaquate to make their own fake invoice.
I am still laughing even if it is fake! You would have to know Dallas and Harry Hines. Someone has a great sense of humor. FWIW, the fonts do make it look like a legit Sonic receipt.
I realize this was probably meant as a joke but wouldn’t it technically be a violation of prostitution laws? If it is not a violation, would the receipt holder be able to sue Sonic if they refuse to honor the offer?
Just remember, you’re not paying a hooker for sex… you’re paying them to go away, after sex!
If true, this would be the first time in history a meal at Sonic finished with a happy ending.
The sad thing is, my local Sonic does such a crappy job compared to other Sonics that I’ve eaten at, I can totally see them trying this gimmick.
Can I upsize to a large for 39 cents???