Buy A Burger At Sonic, Get A Free Hooker

Forget that racist Domino’s delivery slip or that Kroger receipt long enough to have a ticker-tape parade. The freebie offer on this receipt from Sonic takes the cake.

In an apparent move to compete with other fast food giveaways, this Sonic is now offering a “free Harry Hines (as in Harry Hines Blvd. in Dallas) hooker” with the purchase of a Sonic burger.

Additionally, the fast food joint is offering “complimentary BJs and rim jobs with this receipt.” Not that we know what either of those are.

But if you like shellfish, you might want to go somewhere else because this is a “no crab zone.”

It’s not just good… it’s Sonic good. [Reddit]

Comments

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  1. Hungry Dog says:

    Just remember friends will help you move. Great friends will help you move a body. Just something to keep in mind with the free hooker.

  2. prezuiwf says:

    Yeah, they say “free” but I bet they still nickel and dime you with fine print and hidden fees.

  3. Mr. Fix-It says: "Canadian Bacon is best bacon!" says:

    More adolescent dweebs thinking they’re funny and/or cool. Obviously the BK guy getting fired didn’t sway this guy at all; either that, or he never saw the story at all.

    Also dude, ‘Hooker’ is not the preferred nomenclature. ‘Professional Lady’, please.

    • Applekid ┬──┬ ノ( ã‚œ-゜ノ) says:

      I prefer “woman of negotiable virtue”.

    • MonkeyBoy says:

      “My father always said call a spade a spade, but always call a whore a lady. Their lives are hard enough, and it never hurts to be kind.”
      -Patrick Rothfuss, The Name of the Wind

    • Cicadymn says:

      “Lady of the Night”

      Makes them sound exotic and mysterious.

    • eyesack is the boss of the DEFAMATION ZONE says:

      If he’s a grand master pimp, why is he working at Sonic? Must be a regional manager or something.

    • Eviile says:

      I’m sure he’s terrified he’s going to loose his $5.65/hr job. TERRIFIED.

  4. Papa Midnight says:

    This made my afternoon. LoL.
    Thanks for the laughs, Consumerist.

  5. miss_j_bean says:

    I think these are hilarious, a sense of humor makes life much nicer than a puritanical sense of entitlement.

    • Murph1908 says:

      I enjoy a good dirty joke as much as the next guy.

      But there’s a time and a place for them, and anyone who doesn’t realize that is either immature or an idiot, 4 and 5 syllable words not withstanding.

    • mythago says:

      Is this code for “you’re a Puritan if you don’t have the sense of humor of a seventh-grader”?

  6. PaRa02 says:

    ALL THAT FOR 5 DOLLARS?!

    • Jay911 says:

      WOW! THAT’S A LOW PRICE!

      Also, insert showing your receipt joke here.

    • bwcbwc says:

      Looks like. Makes me question the “crab-free zone” claims…

    • mkn1972 says:

      Yea, well, go to Harry Hines Blvd, take a look at the “professional ladies”, and you’ll realize two things.. first, you’re way overpaying if you paid 5 bucks, and second, that is certainly NOT a crab-free, disease-free zone. But hey, it IS free… LOL

  7. Verucalise (Est.February2008) says:

    Grand master pimp is mah daddy.

  8. Taed says:

    If you order coffee, you also get half-and-half for free.

  9. kewlfocus says:

    I’ve seen this before. It’s what prints out when you order a Foot-long Chili Dog.

  10. nffcnnr says:

    imma check the internetz for the hooker coupon code, so i can skip the burger.

  11. Keep talking...I'm listening says:

    So I take it that the Rim Jobs aren’t for the wheels on my car 8)

  12. hawguy says:

    Is there any evidence to show that this receipt was actually issued by a real Sonic restaurant? Many people have easy access to thermal printers – at my workplace, I could print anything I want on thermal ticket stock.

    This sounds more like some one was reprogramming the message of the day on the register and printed off some “funny” receipts.

    Of course, this is the sort of thing that could easily result in the accidental release of the message, but has anyone (who is not an employee at the restaurant) claimed that they really were issued the receipt?

  13. blacknoi says:

    Wish that was my receipt. Priceless. Of course we will expect the employee who did it to be fired, but who didn’t see that coming?

  14. dolemite says:

    Man, that’s a steal. I thought it was a good deal with just the burger fries and coke and BJ.

  15. EverCynicalTHX says:

    You can create a fake receipt online in seconds, it’s funny but hardly original:

    http://www.customreceipt.com/

    OR HERE..etc..

    http://www.smileygenerator.us/fake_receipt/index.php

  16. JulesNoctambule says:

    But will the hooker ask to see your receipt?

  17. qbubbles says:

    I make my own hookers at home.

  18. Cheap Sniveler: Sponsored by JustAnswer.comâ„¢ says:

    The burger and frys, I can eat.

  19. Jane_Gage says:

    This is really sexist, what the hell am I going to do with a hooker, use her to keep my coffee warm??

  20. Tracer Bullet says:

    Damn, that is close to me. Gonna have to check it out tomorrow.Disease free and on the house + bacon!

  21. LINIStittles says:

    This had to have been a Black Friday deal.

  22. sweetgreenthing says:

    I hope this is real, because it is awesome. It would make my day, even as a pregnant married soccer mom. Wait- is this offer transferable? Because this could be a good gift for the weird but friendly neighbor upstairs…

    • DoubleBaconVeggieBurger says:

      Nothing says, “sorry I’m about to have a crying baby in the building” like a free hooker…

  23. RandomHookup says:

    Don’t forget to tip your free hooker…

  24. stevied says:

    Prove it.

    Many have Photoshopping skills adaquate to make their own fake invoice.

  25. Bitingback says:

    I am still laughing even if it is fake! You would have to know Dallas and Harry Hines. Someone has a great sense of humor. FWIW, the fonts do make it look like a legit Sonic receipt.

  26. DovS says:

    I realize this was probably meant as a joke but wouldn’t it technically be a violation of prostitution laws? If it is not a violation, would the receipt holder be able to sue Sonic if they refuse to honor the offer?

  27. buddyedgewood says:

    Just remember, you’re not paying a hooker for sex… you’re paying them to go away, after sex!

  28. gman863 says:

    If true, this would be the first time in history a meal at Sonic finished with a happy ending.

  29. Halloween Jack says:

    The sad thing is, my local Sonic does such a crappy job compared to other Sonics that I’ve eaten at, I can totally see them trying this gimmick.

  30. TheCorporateGeek Says Common Sense Is The Key says:

    Can I upsize to a large for 39 cents???